Monday, April 30, 2018

Manic Monday Bonus--Bendis Is Leaving!!

This quote from Bendis was floating around the Twitters last week:

A lot of people took exception to his apparent dissing of Superman's rogues gallery.

I'll let Superman fans handle that one.

But dissing Iron Man's rogues gallery? Are you nuts?

This from the man who thought bringing in The Hood (twice), with exactly the same scheme he used when Bendis brought him in as the Avengers big bad, was a good idea.

So let's just take a little survey from the late 70's & 80s. These guys were all available when Bendis "had issues" with finding good Iron Man villains.

Let's not even do the Mandarin, or Ultimo. Let's see what else was available. I'm sure he'd dismiss Mandarin as "done to death." So let's see who else there is.

The Guardsman (or Guardsmen)--Tony Stark designed armor that drove the user--your best friend--mad?! What's not to love? Yeah, nothing there to "dig deep into the wounds" of Tony Stark.

Look--a Maggia leader modeling himself after a Greek myth? And his daughter, herself a dangerous criminal with a tragically scarred face, is your girlfriend?!? Gee, sorry these weren't as good as you wanted. (In fairness, Bendis did use Madame Masque, but more a way to introduce the all-new, all-mystic Victor Von Doom into the supporting cast).

Unicorn--a criminal whose costume is both killing him and driving him insane, and used as a disposable pawn my every criminal mastermind in the book.

Spymaster. Come on, Bendis--SPYMASTER. A super-duper industrial espionage agent who has the coolest toys. You can't find a story for him?

Melter! Blizzard! Whiplash!! 

Sure, minor leaguers, maybe...but they always seem to find someone to pay to upgrade their powers enough to become a serious threat to Tony. Plus, Bendis is all about criminal mastermind uniting the underworld (see his many, many Hood stories). So these guys would fit right in!

Dreadnought!! Hydra-designed robots with seemingly infinite weapons systems that were later rented out to the Maggia and were later given Super-Adaptoid technology? No-brainer!!

Titanium Man!!! A bigger guy in bigger armor who represents the apotheosis of Iron Man's philosophy. You think Putin wouldn't still employ him?!?

Look, Bendis might have healed Doom's face, and had him reform, and dedicate himself to the mystic arts in one of Tony Stark's stolen armors (??) and impregnate Tony's girlfriend (no, I'm not making that up) and lose a fight with The Hood because sure, why not? But instead of all that, Doom should be a perfect villain for Tony Stark. Sigh...

Living Laser!! You can never go wrong with lasers!!

MODOK! If you can't find a use for MODOK, why are you writing comics?

The Ghost!! Industrial saboteur who can turn invisible and intangible? Good enough for the Ant-Man and The Wasp movie. Not good enough for Bendis.

Crimson Dynamo. See Titanium Man. Except he's crimson!!

Grey Gargoyle!! A French scientist who can turn people an things into stone!! Sacre Bleu!!

And then there's this guy:

Seriously, though. If you can't find something worthwhile in Iron Man's rogues gallery, well, you're not really trying.

Maybe Bendis can take The Hood with him to DC...?


SF said...

OMG, I read the comment wrong. I thought he was saying that UNLIKE Iron Man, Superman didn't have a good rogue's gallery. Which struck me as stupid, but at least partially understandable due to Iron Man's great rogue's gallery.

Also, I resent you leaving out Ultimo: Iron Man #95 "Ultimo Unleashed" was my first issue of Iron Man, possibly my first Marvel comic. Only took me ~30 years to get my hands on a copy of #96 so I could find out how Tony survived...

snell said...

No slight on Ultimo--I just figures he (and the Mandarin) were no-brainers, needing no defense as worthy villains.