Wednesday, October 1, 2014

How Science (And Monkeys) Help Us Entertain Visiting Military Delgations!

An interesting statement:

"MUST conduct many strange experiments"?!? Really? Is it the law or something? Do the Marines, or the French Foreign Legion, conduct many strange experiments?

Seriously, that alone could be the basis for one of the best comic books ever.

Anyway, cadets Flyboy and Happy get punished by having to report to one of those experiments...


Subjecting them to radiation?!? Man oh man, this could be the first Red Ghost story--where's Stan Lee when you need him?

So how do you kill a whole weekend of watching monkeys?


Obviously, the standards for joining the Air Force were a bit lax in those days...




Fortunately for Happy, there's a loophole:

Holy crap, a stupid comic book story finally makes an accurate distinction between monkeys and apes!! Stop the presses!!

Sadly for Happy, that loophole isn't enough to secure his position on the evolutionary ladder...



Oh, Happy...you should probably just resign yourself to permanent KP duty, because I don't want you anywhere near an airplane!!

And of course, the animals get loose--at the exact same time the base commander is entertaining a visiting delegation of Royal Air Force officers...




Fortunately for our boys, the British love monkey humor!! And thus the "special relationship" was solidified for decades to come...

From Flyboy #2 (1952)

Can We Talk About The Weather?

I know, I know, the weatherman always gets it wrong, right?

Well, chill out! People have been hating on meteorologists for millennia!!

Even Aristotle got dissed...

And don't get me started on the crap Galileo had to take from an angry public:

So don't pick on your local weatherman. He'll probably be known as one of history's greatest scientists someday, and we're just too big a bunch of jerks to appreciate it!!

From Flyboy #2 (1952)

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Barry & Iris Allen's American Bandstand!!

Most of you probably don't remember the brief period when Barry & Iris had a young co-ed living with them:

Given the way current DC writers have fixated on minor supporting characters from the Flash's past as love interests, I'm frankly surprised that no one has tried to to re-introduce Stacy as a nu52 love interest for the "younger, less experienced" Flash.

Anyway, the Allens are giving Stacy a lift to class one day...

Yes, it's 1975, and Iris Allen is still baffled by pop music. And you thought Barry was the uncool, stick-in-the-mud person in this relationship.

Indeed, Barry has some trenchant commentary on the world of pop music:

Ouch!! Cruel but true, Barry...

Sadly, as far as I'm aware, we never got Iris' reaction to hip-hop, or electronica...

From Flash #233 (1975)

Monday, September 29, 2014

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--When Titans Agree!

Judge Dredd has a message for you:

Could you go into some more detail, sir?

Well, there you go, then.

You know, when Judge Dredd and Homer Simpson agree on something...


...then it's gotta be right. Right?

The cover is from 2000 AD #533 (1987). The panel is from #532 (1987). Homer is from Springfield.

Manic Monday Bonus--Little Comic Of Horrors?

Botanists Trent and Harly discover a rare carnivorous plant in Brazil!!

In a stunningly bad move, they decide to bring it back to the U.S. of A.

On the way, they get into a little tiff, and Trent knocks Harly out!

Later, feeling bad, he comes back...but:

"Sorry you lost your temper"? Dude, you cold-coked him into unconsciousness!!

Also--you leave a helpless body in the same room as man-eating plant...gee, I wonder what happened to him!

Back home, even house pets aren't safe:



Gee, I wonder what happened to the dog??

And cleaning ladies aren't particularly safe, either:


OK, this is getting out of hand...




Ah, but we're not done yet...



OMG!!!

Now, before you accuse this story of ripping of The Little Shop Of Horrors, please realize that Beware #12 (1954) came out almost 6 years BEFORE the Roger Corman "classic."

So did Corman rip off an old horror comic? Were both the comic and film inspired separately by 1931 short story "Green Thoughts" by John Collier--a story often cited as source for the movie--in which a murderous orchid kills people and grows buds in the shape of their heads. Or is it one of them dang coincidences?

At least they didn't make a musical of the comic story...

Manic Monday--The Dredd That Never Was

1987 was a happier time...a more optimistic era...a time when we could dream of things like this:

Where'd this come from?

You see, 2000 AD had just announced...

 Oh, so bright and optimistic! How could they know what was really to come??

And that particular poster?

A fan-submitted poster by Danny Cannon in 2000 AD #534 (1987). So full of hope and promise--Ridley Scott? Harrison Ford?!? Music by Peter Gabriel???

But be careful of what you wish for. Because 8 years later, that exact same Danny Cannon would be the one to direct this:

That is an irony so horrifying it should have been in an EC comic book.

So let that be the moral of the story--don't get too excited when they announce that one of your favorite characters is being made into a film--or you may one day find yourself directing a much-reviled, terrible version of it. It happened before, it can happen again...

Sunday, September 28, 2014

I Think Disney Might Sue Itself Over This One

So., I'm reading Avengers #14 (1965), and I find a story that's very, very familiar.

The Avengers, searching for a missing doctor who might be the only chance to save the life of The Wasp [SPOILER ALERT: She lived], stumbled across a base of alien fugitives in the Arctic wastes:

 No, no, not that, this:

Anyway, it turns out the Kallusians are being pursued by an evil galactic empire that is sparing no cost to find them:

No, no, I mean this:

And the evil aliens send a bunch of probes to explore various planets to see if the Kallusians are there:

No, no, I meant this:

And the probes explore the icy wastes:

No, that's wrong...why does this keep happening? I meant this:

Well, the probe finds a rebel relay station and destroys it:

No, not at all like that--like this:

Fortunately, one good guy is left, and he takes out the probe and alerts his people:

Sigh...no, like this:

In the comic, we don't see this guys final fate, but it's probably something like this:

Well, it seems pretty obvious to me that Stan Lee (plot), Paul Laiken & Larry Lieber (script), Jack Kirby (layouts), Don Heck (pencils) and Chic Stone (inks) deliberately and completely ripped off The Empire Strike Back for their Avengers comic book!!

I think that whoever owns Star Wars should sue the living heck (sorry, Don) out of whoever owns Marvel and the Avengers...oh, wait. Never mind.