Friday, April 24, 2015

Friday Night Fights--Texas Twister Style!!

Well, he's gone and done it now! MOC Spacebooger has commanded that, for the Prize Fight Round of Friday Night Fights, we must have a fight that "references some kind of bad weather."

Thy will be done...

The Fantastic Four have broken up (again? That trick never works!). To kill time until the next anniversary issue, Johnny Storm has taken up cross-country road racing!!

That's a great idea, until...





Woo hoo!






Oohhh...minus ten points for endangering civilians, Torch!











POW!!!

Spacebooger would like to remind you that Drew Daniels was hit by a tornado and nuclear fallout at the same time, giving him tornado powers, iN what must be the most 1970s Marvel origin ever.

The Human Torch gets his knickers in a twist in Fantastic Four #192 (1978), by Len Wein plotter, Roger Slifer scripter, & George Perez and Joe Sinnott

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Because if I win, I might tell you of the time that the Texas Twister was one of the Super-Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. So go and vote!!


Thursday, April 23, 2015

Tales From The Quarter Bin--Archie's R/C Racers?!?

You know, in 1989, Archie Comics got pretty damn weird...

What.
The.
Hell.

Yes, this was an actual series, not some oddball one-shot.

Let's give you the quick re-cap from issue #2:





Seriously--that's the whole series, Archie & Reggie racing R/C cars across the country.

Oh, yeah, there was some villain who wanted to disrupt the race for some reason...

...and lots of R/C action...

...and villains...

...and super-villains!

Not surprisingly, the series was cancelled long before they could visit every state. But Archie Comics did allow them to somehow reach Hawaii for a finale...

Kyosho Hobby Company is a real outfit, and had a licensing agreement with Archie, so their name and products are all over the place.

Like I said, Archie Comics got really weird in 1989-1991...

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Bold Fashion Choices--Not To Scale?!?

You know...
There are about 75 comments I could make here, 74 1/2 of which are far too dirty to ever discuss in the context of an Archie comic.

Let's just say that, given the proportions displayed on that dress, it may increase Archie's interest in Geography, but it sure won't improve his grades...

From Veronica #27 (1993)

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Monday, April 20, 2015

Manic Monday triple Overtime--The Sub-Basement Of Dracula!!

You know, not a single day goes by without someone asking me, "Hey, snell, what would it look like if Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan did a Simpsons-based parody of Tomb Of Dracula?"

Well, here's your answer...











You're welcome.

From Treehouse Of Horror #11 (2005)

Manic Monday Bonus--Archie's Doubtful Future!

In the late 80s, Archie Comics frequently had little banner ads across the bottoms of some of the pages of their comics, not unlike what Marvel did 15 years earlier. Oh, Archie, how like you to be 15 years behind a trend!

Anyhoo, the first issue of Archie 3000 (1989), saw this at the end of the first tale:

Ooh, 3 strikes!!

B. Dalton and Waldenbooks have been gone for awhile, and maybe it's just my experience, but I haven't seen anything but the occasional Disney digest at a supermarket check-out in many a year.

Geez, with foresight that bad, it's almost enough to make you doubt the veracity of their projections for Riverdale in the year 3000 [SPOILER ALERT: Flying cars! Food synthesizers! The guys had long hair!!] After all, if they couldn't predict a trend 20 years out, I have doubts they could do it 1000 years out!