Saturday, November 17, 2018

The Solution To NYC's Subway Crisis?

So, the Hate-Monger [SPOILER ALERT: He's Hitler!!] has to haul ass from New York City to the totally-not-made-up South American republic of San Gusto.

You or I, we might book a flight, hire a plane. But Hate-Monger doesn't do anything small scale!







Now, I've gotta be honest--even as a wee tyke reading a reprint of this story, that bit didn't make a lick sense to me.

Sure, you can call it "reverse rocket thrust" all you want, but that doesn't make it so. And if your rocket is blasting south to dig the tunnel, it must be simultaneously be pushing the rocket itself backwards, or north, at the same time. And even if you somehow held the rocket in place while you were boring, you'd have to bore-stop-move-bore-stop-move ad infinitum for what would have to take weeks, if not months. (And I did paste all of the panels here--there is no indication of any mechanism for forward propulsion.)

Plus, if you had "suspected as much," Hate-Monger, maybe you should have the tunnel pre-dug?

Throw in the one-hour disembarkation time, and you and your thugs would have been better off hijacking a plane, or even walking down there.

Still this does mean that, under part of Manhattan at least, there's a sizable tunnel just waiting to be used--no need to wait for Elon Musk to do it for you!

From Fantastic Four #21 (1963)

Friday, November 16, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--Love In The Air!!

Now this is more like it.

We have action, romance, and multiple summonings. This is what Kid Eternity text pieces should be like!

Apologies for the print quality...what are you going to do?

So what's this crazy pilot doing?

He's committing suicide!!

But fortunately, Kid summons Amelia Earhart!

You know, not to be a negative Nellie, but is someone who disappeared and presumably crashed in their final flight the best person to call to save a crashing plane? Just asking.

Then again, this pretty much proves that Amelia Earhart wasn't alive and in hiding or kidnapped by aliens or whatever, or Kid couldn't have summoned her. So at least there's closure!!

"She knew how to handle men as well as machines..." Love it!

But there's only one column left! Can we get this story finished in time? Why was the pilot going to kill himself?!?

Wait--he was going to kill himself because he was too chicken to even ask the woman out? Gosh, you should have let him die, Kid.

John Alden!! Welcome to the "back from the dead" gang!

OK, so it wasn't the Kree-Skrull War or anything. It was still light-years better than the usual Kid Eternity text piece! What do you want?

This was the 74th Kid Eternity story, and the standings are...

Abu 1
Achilles 4
Adam 1
Alden, John 1
Antony, Marc 2
Apollo 1
Aramis 2
Arnold, Benedict 1
Arthur, King 2
Astor, John Jacob 1
Athos 2
Atlas 3
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Baker, Lafayette 1
Barry's father 1
Barton, Clara 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 3
Blackhawk 1
Bloodhounds (Legree's) 1
Bluebeard 1
Bolivar, Simon 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bowie, Jim 1
Boyd, Belle 1
Brady, Diamond Jim 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bridger, Jim 1
British Tank crew 1
Bucephalus 2
Bunyan, Paul 3
Byron, George Gordon 2
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Calhoun, John C. 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Capulet, Juliet 1
Carden, Foster 1
Carpenter, Daniel 1
Cave Man 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Christian, Fletcher 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cleopatra 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 2
Colt, Samuel 1
Columbus, Christopher 2
Corbett, Jim 3
Corcoran, Peter 1
Crockett, Davy 1
Cronson, Gerald 1
Crusaders 1
Crusoe, Robinson 1
Custer, George Armstrong 2
D'artagnan 2
d'Aubigny. Julie 1
Daedalus 1
Dagger Dan 1
Davis, Richard Harding 1
de Bergerac, Cyrano 2
de Leon, Ponce 1
de Rais, Gilles 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Dracula 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Earhart, Amelia 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 2
Fagin 1
Fairbanks, Douglas Sr. 1
Faraday, Michael 1
Fink, Mike 1
Frankenstein's Monster 1
Franklin, Ben 1
Galahad 1
Geronimo 2
Goliath 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Gothicus, Claudius 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Graymalkin 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Gulliver, Lemuel 1
Hamilton, Alexander 1
Hatfield, John 1
Hathorne, John 1
Hauser, Kaspar 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 2
Hermann, Alexander 1
Hickathrift, Tom 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Hodges, Joe 1
Holmes, Sherlock 4
Hopkins, Matthew 1
Horatius Cocles 1
Houdini, Harry 3
Houston, Sam 1
Hyde, Edward 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Ikhnaton 1
Ismail, Yusuf 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
James, Jesse 1
Javert 2
Jeffries, Jim 1
Johnson, Martin 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Jove 2
Kamehameha 1
Khan, Genghis 2
Kidd, William 1
Lafayette, General 1
Lancelot 2
Larsen, Wolf 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Laveran, Charles 1
Leander 3
Lee, Robert E. 1
Legree, Simon 1
Leonidas 2
Light Brigade 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Lister, Joseph 2
Macbeth's Witches 1
Marable, Fate 1
Marshall, John 1
Masterson, Bat 1
McGrew, Dan 1
Mercury 5
Merlin 1
Mesmer, Franz 1
Milo Of Croton 2
Minutemen 1
Mix, Tom 1
Montague, Romeo 1
Montezuma 1
Morgan, Henry 1
Mounties 1
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Neanderthal 2
Nefertiti 1
Neptune 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobel, Alfred 2
Nobody 2
North Wind 1
Nostradamus 2
O'Brien, David 1
Oakley, Annie 1
Og 1
Orpheus 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pasteur, Louis 1
Penelope 1
Perseus 1
Pheidippides 2
Pied Piper 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Pocahontas 1
Porthos 3
Post, Wiley 1
Prometheus 1
Quixote, Don 2
Revere, Paul 1
Richard the LionHeart 1
Rin-Tin-Tin 2
Robespierre, Maximilien 1
Robin Hood 3
Roc 1
Rogers' Rangers 2
Röntgen, Wilhelm 1
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Ryan, Paddy 1
Samson 3
Sandow, Eugen 1
Sayers, Tom 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Serra, Junipero 1
Shakespeare, Willaim 1
Siegfried 1
Silver, Long John 2
Skunk, Jimmy 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Stanley, Henry 1
Steinmetz, Charles 2
Stogie 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Tecumseh 1
Tell, William 1
Thalfi 1
Thor 3
Thumb, Tom 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tuck, Friar 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Uncas 1
Valjean, Jean 1
Vercingetorix 1
Villa, Pancho 1
Villon, Francois 1
von Helmholtz, Hermann 1
Vulcan 1
Washington, George 3
Watson, John H 1
Webster, Daniel 2
Whittington, Richard 1
Wright Brothers 1
Xanthippe 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--The Trojan Chewing Gum!!

From Kid Eternity #12 (1948)

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--Wings Of Death!!

Look, I've gotta be honest...

Nothing this exciting happens in this story.

Still, it is a fairly fun little tale, though!

Post-WWII, the skies are getting a mite bit crowded around Eternity...



OK, this is where you aviation nerds get to chime in with everything wrong in the plane's depiction.

But maybe you should wait, because this is no ordinary plane!


It's a super-bomber, from the International Security Force!!

Let's look inside, shall we?

Look, I'm no aviation nerd, but I'm pretty sure that bomber--even super-bombers--don't carry crates of dynamite. They carry, well, you know, actual bombs?!?

Anyway, it's a good thing Kid Eternity was snoopy, because it turns out that the bomber's super-bomber's crew is bent!


Polkovia?!? Aren't they in violation of the Sokovia Accords? What will Latveria say?

God, I love fictional countries.

Too late, Kid, they've already landed the super-bomber in downtown Polkovia!

But rule #1 is, don't trust foul tyrants!


Dude, you sold out the rest of the world for 50 grand. I don't think a dirty double-crosser gets to call out someone else for dirty double-crossing!!



Way to go, Kid!!

But...


Uh-oh...


Don Quixote!! This is your second summoning!!

But why did Kid call you here? Especially since, well...




...you're an idiot?!?

Well, it turns out this was one of those accidental summonings...

OK, wait just one second here.

Is that seriously how it works? Are Kid's powers like Google auto-fill, so when you start saying a name, Eternity guesses what you want and fills in the rest? Does that make a lick of sense?

Well, if that's the way it works, it reinforces my theory that the Walking Dead happened when Kid had the hiccups one day.

SPECIAL BONUS FACT: The other time Kid called up Don Quixote, it was also an accident--he was trying to summon D'artagnan. Perhaps we have the beginnings of a running gag here?

Anyway, Kid finally gets who he wanted:

General Custer! This is Custer's second appearance (with his cavalry both times).

But calling a 19th century cavalry best known for being routed, and putting them against a modern military group with modern weapons, turns out not to be too much more effective than Don Quixote was.

So now what?

Hey, remember those crates of dynamite?


How about a little fire, Polkovia?!?




Whoa! Gruesome much, Keeper?

There's still the matter of getting the plane back where it belongs!

D'oh!!



The Wright Brothers!

And before you quibble whether these early aviators could pilot a modern super-bomber, remember Kid's earlier observation that the plane was "partly remote controlled, " whatever the hell that means.

Anyway, it works, so they must be able to handle the plane!

And world peace is once more assured!!

This was the 73rd Kid Eternity tale, and the summoning chart is:

Abu 1
Achilles 4
Adam 1
Antony, Marc 2
Apollo 1
Aramis 2
Arnold, Benedict 1
Arthur, King 2
Astor, John Jacob 1
Athos 2
Atlas 3
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Baker, Lafayette 1
Barry's father 1
Barton, Clara 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 3
Blackhawk 1
Bloodhounds (Legree's) 1
Bluebeard 1
Bolivar, Simon 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bowie, Jim 1
Boyd, Belle 1
Brady, Diamond Jim 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bridger, Jim 1
British Tank crew 1
Bucephalus 2
Bunyan, Paul 3
Byron, George Gordon 2
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Calhoun, John C. 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Capulet, Juliet 1
Carden, Foster 1
Carpenter, Daniel 1
Cave Man 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Christian, Fletcher 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cleopatra 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 2
Colt, Samuel 1
Columbus, Christopher 2
Corbett, Jim 3
Corcoran, Peter 1
Crockett, Davy 1
Cronson, Gerald 1
Crusaders 1
Crusoe, Robinson 1
Custer, George Armstrong 2
D'artagnan 2
d'Aubigny. Julie 1
Daedalus 1
Dagger Dan 1
Davis, Richard Harding 1
de Bergerac, Cyrano 2
de Leon, Ponce 1
de Rais, Gilles 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Dracula 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 2
Fagin 1
Fairbanks, Douglas Sr. 1
Faraday, Michael 1
Fink, Mike 1
Frankenstein's Monster 1
Franklin, Ben 1
Galahad 1
Geronimo 2
Goliath 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Gothicus, Claudius 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Graymalkin 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Gulliver, Lemuel 1
Hamilton, Alexander 1
Hatfield, John 1
Hathorne, John 1
Hauser, Kaspar 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 2
Hermann, Alexander 1
Hickathrift, Tom 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Hodges, Joe 1
Holmes, Sherlock 4
Hopkins, Matthew 1
Horatius Cocles 1
Houdini, Harry 3
Houston, Sam 1
Hyde, Edward 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Ikhnaton 1
Ismail, Yusuf 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
James, Jesse 1
Javert 2
Jeffries, Jim 1
Johnson, Martin 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Jove 2
Kamehameha 1
Khan, Genghis 2
Kidd, William 1
Lafayette, General 1
Lancelot 2
Larsen, Wolf 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Laveran, Charles 1
Leander 3
Lee, Robert E. 1
Legree, Simon 1
Leonidas 2
Light Brigade 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Lister, Joseph 2
Macbeth's Witches 1
Marable, Fate 1
Marshall, John 1
Masterson, Bat 1
McGrew, Dan 1
Mercury 5
Merlin 1
Mesmer, Franz 1
Milo Of Croton 2
Minutemen 1
Mix, Tom 1
Montague, Romeo 1
Montezuma 1
Morgan, Henry 1
Mounties 1
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Neanderthal 2
Nefertiti 1
Neptune 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobel, Alfred 2
Nobody 2
North Wind 1
Nostradamus 2
O'Brien, David 1
Oakley, Annie 1
Og 1
Orpheus 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pasteur, Louis 1
Penelope 1
Perseus 1
Pheidippides 2
Pied Piper 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Pocahontas 1
Porthos 3
Post, Wiley 1
Prometheus 1
Quixote, Don 2
Revere, Paul 1
Richard the LionHeart 1
Rin-Tin-Tin 2
Robespierre, Maximilien 1
Robin Hood 3
Roc 1
Rogers' Rangers 2
Röntgen, Wilhelm 1
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Ryan, Paddy 1
Samson 3
Sandow, Eugen 1
Sayers, Tom 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Serra, Junipero 1
Shakespeare, Willaim 1
Siegfried 1
Silver, Long John 2
Skunk, Jimmy 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Stanley, Henry 1
Steinmetz, Charles 2
Stogie 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Tecumseh 1
Tell, William 1
Thalfi 1
Thor 3
Thumb, Tom 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tuck, Friar 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Uncas 1
Valjean, Jean 1
Vercingetorix 1
Villa, Pancho 1
Villon, Francois 1
von Helmholtz, Hermann 1
Vulcan 1
Washington, George 3
Watson, John H 1
Webster, Daniel 2
Whittington, Richard 1
Wright Brothers 1
Xanthippe 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--Love and Amelia Earhart!!

From Kid Eternity #12 (1948)