Sunday, July 5, 2009

This Is My Riddler

You can have your super-smart Riddler; you can have your "reformed" private detective Riddler; you can have (and keep) your Jim Carrey Riddler.

But as for me...this is my Riddler:






Because everybody needs an incompetent goofball in their rogues' gallery...even The Batman.

Extra bonus footage: Nigma being bumfuzzled by the Question:





Oh, Eddie...

The Riddler meets Philosophy 101 in The Question #26 (1989) by Denny O'Neill, Bill Wray and Malcolm Jones III


Saturday, July 4, 2009

Cap/Nixon

What better way to celebrate our nation's birth than with Captain America? And even better, how about the time Cap killed the U.S. President??

Let's set the Wayback Machine for 1974...

Is it me, or does the big guy look like Agnew?A battle on the White House lawn? What in the Sam Hill is going on here??

OK, not the flashiest dressersWell, that's a nice re-cap. Who's bringing us this hard-boiled political thriller?

Our creatorsAhhh, Sal Buscema...that's 70s Marvel, all right.

Who is (are?) the Secret Empire? They're an offshoot of Hydra, and they're attempting a naked coup to take over the good old U.S. of A. They run around in hoods with numbers on them (thus violating Snell's Rules For Villains #1--don't let your minions wear masks, because then it's way too easy for the good guys to pose as your minions).

Yeah, they run around with overly convoluted plots involving "atomic annihilators" and mutant-powered flying saucers (seriously!). And they have the worst battle cry ever:

Alliteration obviously wasn't the best way to goBut actually, they've come closer to achieving their goals than Hydra or AIM ever got. They've successfully framed Captain America for murder, and have S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers hunting him down; they've kidnapped most of the X-Men; they've successfully positioned villainous henchman Moonstone as America's new favorite and most trusted hero; they've planted atomic explosives in every major American city; and they've infiltrated the highest levels of the U.S. government.

Still, the big question is, who is the secretive Number One?? Steve Englehart has been dropping hints the past few issues:

Political commentary? In a comic book?The Committee To Regain America's Principles (CRAP) sure sounds an awful lot like Richard Nixon's Committee To Re-elect The President (CREEP), which was heavily involved in the Watergate scandal.

That was why he lost to KennedyHmmm...I've got to work on my villainous gestures...

Anyway, #1 lands his mutant-powered flying saucer on the White House lawn!!

Couldn't you have just saved some $ and pulled up in AMC pacers? You already have nukes, why do you need to impress with a saucer?
I'm restraining myself from the obligatory 'Number Two' jokeAnd then they use the "hero" Moonstone to make the case that they're unbeatable:

Seriously, America bought this pussy as a hero?And then the big threat:

Shouldn't you have waited until the explosives were actually planted to make the threat?Ah, but of course, Captain America isn't putting up with such nonsense:

Now we'll never know how he was going to finsih that sentence!!"The invisible government become visible?" (Well, technically, "visabaaaaaaaaaaaaaa") Hmmm...

But you just DID describe it!!Oh, and Cap kicks Moonstone's arse, too...

Thank you, SalJust in time for the villains to all turn on each other in a nationally televised confession-fest:

Oh, if only they could keep their mouths shut...
Higher ratings than the final episode of M*A*S*HWell, that's it, then...all's well that ends well, right?

Wow, that was easier than I thought it would be...
D'oh!!Uh-oh...Number One flees into the Oval Office, and...

Uhh...Secret Service, anyone? Marines??Yes!!

Well, duhWhaa????

Frost/Nixon, the action versionHuh??

This never happened on West Wing!!!!!!!!

Yes, ladies and gentleman, Steve Englehart just had Richard Nixon commit suicide right on the comics page.

Interestingly enough, since this issue was coverdated July 1974, it was probably on the newsstands in May, and probably actually scripted in March or April, if not earlier. Which means that almost 6 months before Nixon resigned, Englehart had him "resigning" much more permanently.

Yeah, it was "subtle" (snort), but this was pretty bold stuff for a Code approved book in 1974, when you still (theoretically) weren't supposed to show authority figures in a bad light, and suicide was frowned upon. And attacking a sitting president was pretty radical for conservative comic books companies of the day.

These events, of course, led to Steve Rogers giving up the Captain America identity and becoming--NOMAD!!

Broody, broody cap
Not until he gets a MySpace page...SPOILER ALERT: It didn't take.


Friday, July 3, 2009

Friday Night Fights--? Style

Sometimes the music and the hero go together too well to ignore.

Tonight we'll have the almost silent battle of the Question, Vic Sage, versus some motorcycle thugs.

And to accompany that? ? And The Mysterians!!

Yes, you young turks, there was once a band called ? And The Mysterians. Yes, their lead singer was named ?. Just ?.

Hey, it was the 60s, what do you want? It's no sillier than 98% of the stuff Jimmy Olsen did in the 60s!! And 96 Tears just happens to be one of the best frakkin' songs ever, so show some respect, dammit!!

Take it way, Vic and ?:

Too many teardrops for one heart to be cryin'
Too many teardrops for one heart
To carry on

You're gonna cry ninety-six tears
You're gonna cry ninety-six tears

You're gonna cry cry, cry, cry, now
You're gonna cry cry, cry, cry

Ninety-six tears c'mon and lemme hear you cry, now
Ninety-six tears (whoo!) I wanna hear you cry

Night and day, yeah, all night long
Uh-ninety-six tears cry cry cry
C'mon baby, let me hear you cry now, all night long

Uh-ninety-six tears! Yeah! C'mon now
Uh-ninety-six tears!

[fade]

Any questions? Ask Spacebooger!

Question #22 courtesy of Denny O'Neil, Denys Cowan and Malcom Jones III.

Lyrics for 96 Tears.

And the video--try not to let your head explode from the Mod-ness:




Thursday, July 2, 2009

Damn You, Morpheus

Last night, while asleep, I dreamed the very best Iron Fist story EVER!!

Even more surprising, once I woke up, the story turned out to be even better than I thought it was when I dreamed it.

I mean, seriously, this might be the coolest Iron Fist story idea anyone's ever had...

Dammit, I wish I could draw...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

No Sauce For This Gander

General fan reaction to Batman: Streets of Gotham #1, which has a brief scene with a 10-year-old prostitute (no exact quotes, just my general sense of the reviews):

"Eeew! Do we need to see this, Paul Dini? Is this really what "adult" comics fans want from Batman these days? How dare he show child prostitution?!"

General fan reaction to Batman And Robin #1, which has a scene in which a young girl is forced to watch her father tortured and mutilated, and is promised that the same will be done to her (by her father, no less) (again, no exact quotes):

"Damn!! Best Batman comic in years!! Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!! More, more, more please!! Torture scene? What torture scene?!?"

Make of that what you will.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

What a difference twenty years makes.

Forgive me for sounding whiny and behind the curve, but this old ad I encountered spakred some emotions.

In 1988, for the Legion Of Super-Heroes 30th Anniversary, we got excited full page house ads, super-sized 64 page spectaculars celebrating Legion artists past and present, a 7-issue Who's Who In The Legion series, a special issue of Secret Origins...it a veritable festival of Legion-ality!!

Compared to the Legion's 50th Anniversary, wherein we got...

...sounds of crickets chirping...

...Legion canceled mid-storyline, writer fired, no regular Legion series being published for the first time in 5 decades, no specials, no hoopla...

And if Legion Of 3 Worlds ever finishes up, then we'll have the Legion back...as a back-up series. Actually, not the Legion--it's apparently a series of solo stories starring Legionnaires. I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky to be getting that much.

As I said, what a difference 20 years makes.

Ad from Question #14 (1988)


Monday, June 29, 2009

Manic Monday Bonus--Hub City Jokes

Did you here the one about...

Stop me if you've heard this one...

I just heard this funny one...


Even foreign countries are getting in on the comedy gold mine:

I've goot a million of them, folks...

From Question #8 & #10 (1987)

Manic Monday--Flash Rebirth Preview From 22 Years Ago

Oh, wait a moment...that's the other time the Flash had the "touch of death."

So sorry for the confusion again...

Ad appeared in Question #7 (1987)