Sunday, April 22, 2018

Down At Fragul Rock?!?

Zigi and Zagi are mischievous brothers from Alpha Centauri. After bedevilng/befriending Superman, he escorts them home to face the music for "borrowing" their father's new "star-cruiser."

And what does the Fragul do to bad children?

I don't know that tickling kids until they cry and promise to behave is necessarily superior to spanking...Plus, I'm not sure how "civilized" it is to imprison (and train?) a beast just for the purpose of torturing kids...

From Action Comics #316 (1964)

Saturday, April 21, 2018

The Golden Age Tony Stark! Or, Tony! Toni! Toné!!!

Let's meet obscure time traveling hero Ace Buckley!

Wait...what was that?!?

Toni Stark?!? What the what?!?

Yes, his companion is named Toni Stark. Let's hop backwards a few issues, to the origin tale...

 Ace builds a time machine...

 ...he shows it off to his childhood friend Toni Stark...

And, "impulsively as always," she sends them on a trip. Oh, Toni...

Anyway, this time out, they're visiting Peru during Simon Bolivar's revolution...

But they get captured, and we witness something that happened pretty much every story:

Toni Stark sheds her clothes!!!

They escape, and decide that they must help ensure the Spaniards' defeat!

The secret to stopping the Spanish?

Blowing them up!! Good thing we have none of those qualms about stepping on butterflies or killing hundreds of soldiers!!


Oh, dynamite, is there nothing you can't make better?!?

Sadly, there were no further adventure of Ace and Toni Stark...

But they're probably public domain now, and with Ace's travels in the space-time continuum, well, there's no reason they couldn't accidentally hop a dimension or two, and end up in Marvel-616, in 2018, right? Absolutely no reason that they couldn't encounter, say, Iron Man, right?!?

And you just know that Tony Stark would hit on Toni Stark. That alone would be worth the price of admission!

And if they found a third character, named Toné, well...

Come on, Marvel--we're waiting!!

From Startling Comics #3 (1940) and #10 (1941)

Friday, April 20, 2018

Friday Night Fights--Toom Toom Toom Style!!

Sometimes Friday Night Fights takes us to stupid, better-off-forgotten alternate universes.

Like the Heroes Reborn universe, where someone is knocking at the door of Avengers Mansion...

Oh, sucker punch!!

Spacebooger is fairly sure that no matter what reality, Wonder Man's costume will always be terrible.

Marvel leased out it's legacy in Avengers #7 (1997), by Rob Liefeld (plot), Jeph Loeb (plot & script), Ian Churchill (pencils) and Lary Stucker & Jon Sibal & Norm Rapmund (inks)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Well, actually, you probably shouldn't. I mean, Heroes Reborn--what was I thinking? Still, go and vote!!

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Your Thursday Cosmic Trip!

For no particular reason...

Is your mind blown yet?


From Fantastic Four Annual #27 (1994)

Dear Mr. Spielberg--The Blackhawks Had Damned Well Better Sing!!

I'm lazy today, so I'm reposting this. But it's an important point, given the recent news about a Blackhawks movie. Mr. Spielberg, the ball is in your court!!


If you've ever read any old Blackhawk stories, then you know that one thing the gang did was sing...a lot.

Sometimes they would sing when taking off on a mission...

Most often, though, their song would reverberate throughout the last panel of the story...

And that song had an awful lot of lyrics...

Sing on, Blackhawks...sing on!!!

From Blackhawk #77, #9, #27, #21, #54, #57, #66, & #19....

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--It's My Way Or The Highway!!

Look, Kid Eternity is going to go off on a whole tangent about how this story is just like the American Revolution, and he summons a ton of Revolutionary War heroes.

Don't be fooled, though. This story is about one thing, and one thing only: ripping off Roadhouse.

Our heroes start off unproductively (again)...

...but soon enough they encounter trouble!

Kid takes matters into his own hands...

...until the bad guys cheat outrageously!!

So let's get some help from...

John L. Sullivan!! Congratulations,'s your second summoning!!

Of course, he makes quick work of the thugs.

The victim is safe...

And the police show up. So that's the end of the story, right?


Let the man tell his story:

Dude, you're totally ripping off Roadhouse!!

No, Kid, that analogy doesn't work at all. This is Roadhouse!!

Man, if only this were present day, you could summon Patrick Swayze, and he could roust the evil Boss Dreer (no doubt played by Ben Gazzara!!)

Kid goes another way--call a town meeting!

Now, you'd think all you have to do is lay down Dalton's three simple rules: "
One, never underestimate your opponent..expect the unexpected; Two, take it outside, never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary; and nice.
Hank: [Incredulously] Come on!!
But no, the townspeople are as skittish as if Brad Wesley has just run his monster truck through the local car dealership!!

Kid tries, but he's no Dalton:

So he calls Wade, no such luck:

Patrick Henry!!

And what do you know--it works!!

Well, you can't question that reasoning!!

Who will lead them?!?

General Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, a.k.a. Marquis de Lafayette!! (Damn ,those French have long names...)


Well, Dorset does indeed run straight to Dreer, revealing Lafayette's attack plans!

What's done is done, but Kid decides to shame Dorset for what he's done:

Benedict Arnold?!? Congratulations, sir--you are the 100th character summoned by Kid Eternity!!

Anyway, commence the shaming:


Anyway, Kid has to warn the good guys that their plans have been sussed. Who to do the job?!?

Paul Revere!! But the Kid is wrong--he's never been called, although Kid met him once, traveling in time. Unless, of course, there are untold adventures out the where he did call on Paul.

Regardless, Paul does his job:

And as the bad guys have "tommy guns," Kid sends more help!


The god makes short work of their weapons...

And Lafayette beats them up with fisticuffs--LIKE IN ROADHOUSE!!'ll become the new tin-pate tyrant the second Kid leaves. It's 50-50, I think...

Just like we never knew Dalton's full name.


Anyway, we had a bunch of summoning in this, the 26th Kid Eternity story. So our new standings:

Achilles 3
Antony, Marc 1
Arnold, Benedict 1
Atlas 2
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Barry's father 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bucephalus 1
Bunyan, Paul 2
Byron, George Gordon 1
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Carden, Foster 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 1
Columbus 1
Corbett, Jim 2
Cronson, Gerald 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
D'artagnan 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Don Quixote 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 1
Galahad 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Holmes, Sherlock 1
Houdini 2
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
Javert 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Khan, Genghis 1
Kidd, William 1
King Arthur 1
Lafayette, General 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Leander 1
Lee, Robert E. 1
Leonidas 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Marable, Fate 1
Mercury 3
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobody 1
Nostradamus 1
O'Brien, David 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Porthos 1
Prometheus 1
Revere, Paul 1
Robin Hood 2
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Siegfried 1
Solomon 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Tell, William 1
Thor 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Vercingetorix 1
Vulcan 1
Washington, George 1
Webster, Daniel 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--Kid goes to the dogs!!

From Kid Eternity #3 (1946)