Sunday, June 17, 2018

The Giant DC Comics Slogan Contest!!

It's 1956, so it's time for...

Tell us more...

Of special note:

You have to mutilate *5* different comic book to enter--FIVE!!

In fairness, the other side of the coupon was just a text piece that nobody ever read. But still--5 mutilated comics books.

But hey, it is "definitely possible" to win more than one prize, so please, deface 10 comics! 15! 20!! There's no limit!!

As to the slogan itself...?

Wow. If those are the best example you can come up with, no wonder you need to outsource your sloganeering to children!

It is interesting, because this ad appeared in October 1956 comics, which means it was exact the same  month as Barry Allen's debut. Most of DC's Silver Age had debuted yet, which limits a lot of your slogan possibilities.

And only 15 words? How can you come up with something better than "DC Comics are Decent Comics"?!?

And our prizes?

So, wait: there are 200 Third Prizes for boys, and only 120 Third Prizes for girls? That is some serious bullshit there, DC. Maybe the slogan should have been "DC COMICS--Mostly for boys!"

Anyway, you guys work on your own slogans for DC--15 words or less! No prizes, but eternal fame awaits!!

From Detective Comics #236 (1956)

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Mental Health Day

Look, it has been one trying week...

So we'll just punt today.

Normal idiocy returns tomorrow...

Friday, June 15, 2018

War Is Hellishly Noisy!!

All of this is from one story:

Good gosh, can you keep it down, fellas? I'm trying to read here!

From Soldier Comics #11 (1953)

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Compare And Contrast

From Thor #143 (1967):

And from Thor #28 (2000):

Hey, wait a minute--the "Asgard Special" was a different color last time!! What are you tryin' to pull, mister?

Still, nice to see the guy's still in business after all these years!!

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--Love For The Kid?!?

Words cannot describe how much I like this story, for a hundred different reasons.

First, we break up the formula, by starting in media res, as the very first panel is in the middle of a (very) minor case:

Davy Crockett!! Maybe not my first choice to stop an unarmed purse snatcher, but what they hey--you're Kid Eternity!! Go wild!!

And it turns out that he's getting a bit of a fan following here on Earth!

Look at poor Kid trying to be all casual and modest while impressing the lovely young woman. Oh, to be young again!

Time for Mr. Keeper to be a wet blanket!! know what? For some reason, I don't trust that guardian, Mr. Hardeel...


This doesn't bode well, does it?

Oh, you greedy guardian!!

You know, now the the Kid is apparently becoming well-known--this is the third story of the last four where someone has said "I've heard of you and your powers"--it's kind of surprising that this kind of thing doesn't happen more often. It's a pretty easy power to fake, if your audience is credulous enough:

OK, I'm going to dock Hardeel a point or two for not using a smoke bomb, to make the imitation complete. Otherwise, though, it's a perfect put-up job.

Unfortunately for Hardeel, Kid Eternity picks that moment to come a courtin'--complete with flowers!!
And so he walks in on the scam...

...where the dumb actor/crook thought our Founding Fathers spoke Shakespearean! Verily!!

Time to bust up this scam!!

The REAL Alexander Hamilton!!

Good gravy, Lin-Manuel Miranda wishes he had written something this great!!

But Mr. Hardeel is clever, and able to roll with the punches:


Kid's too besotten witth Lally to realize that Hardeel's story makes no sense. So while Kid takes her on a picnic, Hardeel moves to Plan B:

Ah, from fraud to kidnapping. See how crime snowballs on you, folks?

Kid borrows Hardeel's car to take Lally on the date...

Wait--Kid can drive? Well, I guess when you're legally dead, you don't worry about legal technicalities...

Anyway, Kid is kind of stumbling a bit, so Keeper sends for some help:

Lord Byron!!! This is his second time on our show!!

Well, so much for his help!!

But while they were off gabbing. Lally was snatched!


Well, they find the hideout--but how to get in?

Belle Boyd!! Also known as the Cleopatra of the Secession and Siren of the Shenandoah, she really was a successful spy for the Confederacy!!!

So, being idiots, the gang leaves Lally penning her own ransom note, while they go drool over the charming Boyd:

So now is Kid's chance. But the goons are all armed. How to ensure that Lally isn't harmed?

Jesse James!!

From here on out, it's the Jesse James show, including this remarkable sequence:

Unlike some of the bad people Kid has summoned before, it seems as if James' death has taught him a lesson. Jesse actually tries to talk the crooks into reforming!!

It doesn't work, though, so time for shootin '!!!

Yes, Jesse James actually shot a hand grenade out of mid-air!!

And Jesse is good at the fisticuffs, too!

And then Mr. Hardeel shows why he's not a criminal genius:


Which just leaves one thing--LOVE!!

And..we never heard another word about Lally. Sigh.

Still, a great story--Kid falling in love, dueling Hamiltons, Jesse James feeling remorse but still kicking ass, criminals at least a bit creative in their schemes--what's not to love?

This is the 36th Kid Eternity story. Here are the summoning standings:

Abu 1
Achilles 4
Antony, Marc 2
Aramis 1
Arnold, Benedict 1
Arthur, King 2
Astor, John Jacob 1
Athos 1
Atlas 3
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Baker, Lafayette 1
Barry's father 1
Barton, Clara 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Bluebeard 1
Bolivar, Simon 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bucephalus 1
Bunyan, Paul 2
Byron, George Gordon 2
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Carden, Foster 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cleopatra 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 2
Colt, Samuel 1
Columbus 1
Corbett, Jim 3
Crockett, Davy 1
Cronson, Gerald 1
Crusoe, Robinson 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
D'artagnan 2
de Leon, Ponce 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Dracula 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 2
Frankenstein's Monster 1
Galahad 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Gothicus, Claudius 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Hamilton, Alexander 1
Hatfield, John 1
Hauser, Kaspar 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 2
Hickathrift, Tom 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Holmes, Sherlock 2
Hopkins, Matthew 1
Houdini 2
Hyde, Edward 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
James, Jesse 1
Javert 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Jove 1
Khan, Genghis 1
Kidd, William 1
Lafayette, General 1
Lancelot 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Leander 3
Lee, Robert E. 1
Leonidas 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Lister, Joseph 1
Marable, Fate 1
Masterson, Bat 1
Mercury 4
Milo Of Croton 2
Mix, Tom 1
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobody 1
Nostradamus 1
O'Brien, David 1
Og 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Penelope 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Porthos 2
Prometheus 1
Quixote, Don 1
Revere, Paul 1
Richard the LionHeart 1
Rin-Tin-Tin 1
Robespierre, Maximilien 1
Robin Hood 2
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Ryan, Paddy 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Siegfried 1
Silver, Long John 1
Skunk, Jimmy 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Tecumseh 1
Tell, William 1
Thalfi 1
Thor 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Uncas 1
Vercingetorix 1
Villa, Pancho 1
Vulcan 1
Washington, George 2
Webster, Daniel 1
Xanthippe 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--After Kid's first crush we get...Kid's first femme fatale!!

From Hit Comics #46 (1947)