The Best Cover You've Never Seen--Thor #26 (2000)

Because some mornings, you need to see Mike Mignola draw Thor vs. Crusher Creel.

The Continuing Question: Just How Stupid Is The Absorbing Man?!?

Crusher Creel--just how dopey is he?

He just got to back to Earth, and almost immediately ends up in a tussle with Hulk...

Forgetting about your powers is not the sign of a smart guy...

But, of course, the Absorbing Man isn't terribly bright...

Oh, Crusher, honey...

From Incredible Hulk #125 (1970)

You Know Who's Still Stupid? The Absorbing Man Is Very Stupid!

OK, maybe we've stumbled upon a series here.

Yesterday we talked about how Crusher Creel is stupider than Jupiter, and despite being practically all-powerful, he always beats himself. He's dumb AND dumber.

Last time, Thor tricked him into turning himself into cardboard buy using a toy hammer instead of Mjolnir. D'oh!!

In his next appearance, let's level the playing field, and match him up against the Incredible-But-Not-Terribly-Bright-Hulk. 

Our battle is taking place at a New York City construction site...

Well, I've got to admit, it's been going very well for Creel so far. He's pretty much kicking Hulk's ass here.

But...

Wait for it...

Oh, Carl...

Tune is later for more episodes of How Stupid Is Crusher Creel?

From Incredible Hulk #209 (1977)

You Know Who's Stupid? Crusher Creel Is Stupid!

We spent some time yesterday talking about stupid alien invaders and stupid super-villains.

But really, you can't talk about stupid without bringing up the undisputed King Of Stupid, The Absorbing Man.

Seriously, with his power set, Crusher Creel should be ruling the world right now. But, nope, his Achilles heel is his brain.

Take, for example, the time he's fight Thor in downtown New York City. And Creel is winning, until Thor decides to "flee":

Wait for it...

Oh, Carl...

From Thor #236 (1975)

This Is Your Brain On Crusher Creel--Any Questions?

This is either the worst use ever of the Absorbing Man, or the best ever use of the Absorbing Man. Probably both simultaneously.

Crusher Creel has just broken out of prison, where he had become addicted to drugs (in part because the prison officials there were using drugs to keep the super-powered inmates under control).

Anyway, Creel makes his way to New York, where he becomes an enforcer for the Owl. Unfortunately, along with his usual lack of intelligence, Creel's jonesing for drugs is making him far more of a liability than an advantage.

So the Owl has a plan...pay him in drugs!! Why...?

All right...someone had been watching Scarface, right?

This is going to lead to a really big EEEEEWWWW later, isn't it?

OK, so what does snorting Crusher Creel get you?

Yeah, so it turns out that ingesting Absorbing Man kinda sorta gives you his powers, for an hour or so. Which leaves poor Spider-Man to try and clean up the mess...

 Gee, Spidey, you didn't react that way when Harry Osborn was tripping out!

Of course, the drug is a hit!!

But what about poor Crusher Creel, you ask?

Yes, the Absorbing Man reforms from the tears of junkies. Because EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW...

From Marvel Knights Spider-Man #15-16 (2005)