The Fault Is Not In Our Comics, But In Ourselves

Yeah, DC once published a Welcome Back, Kotter comic book.

And, yeah, they once did an issue where the Sweathogs put on a production of Julius Caesar:

You kids have no idea how good you have it today, what with your "golden age of television" and relative lack of terrible comic book adaptations!!

See, Vice-Principal Woodman has vowed to cut the "Remedial Academic Program" because of budget cuts. (And vice-principals can cut state and federally mandated programs because TV)

But Mr. Kotter figures that if his class can win the Brooklyn Shakespeare Boosters' thousand dollar prize for best amateur production, well, they can then donate that money to Buchanan High, and Woodman will be forced by sitcom logic to keep the Sweathogs!!!

And so...Julius Caesar!!

I just love legitimate theater!

Well, they don't win (obviously), but Woodman is convinced by their efforts that the Sweathogs really want to stay in school, and, well, if that's not good enough to justify a 180 degree change of heart in half an hour, than I don't know what is!! Huzzah!!!

Meanwhile, the youth of today would like to know where their comic book of the characters of Two And A Half Men performing Glengarry Glen Ross is...

From Welcome Back, Kotter #5 (1977)

Friday Night Fights--Horshack Style!!

This current bout of Friday Night Fights is Minimum Clonage--we can't re-use any fighters during these twelve rounds. So let's check my list so far:

Spider-Man
Judomaster
Marl Kincaid
T.H.E. Cat
Namor

One thing I've noticed--when I do the obscure characters, I don't win (even when they throw hyenas at henchmen!!). When I do a mainstream hero, I win!!

Therefore, I accept the challenge--to win when I use a non-mainstream character, instead of just some Marvel or DC hero thwacking someone!! I won't stop until I succeed (editor's note--he probably will get bored with this real soon, then it's back to Marvel slugfests).

This week? The fight everyone from my generation has been dreaming of for 30+ years, as portrayed in this rather amazing comic:

Yes, before DC had Wildstorm to slough all their TV adaptations onto, they had their own line, DC TV. And yes, DC actually published a Welcome Back, Kotter comic book, which somehow lasted 10 bi-monthly issues during the "glory days" of that show, before Gabe Kaplan found his true calling in the world of high stakes poker.

Anyhoo, if you were of my generation (or of a later generation who witnessed the carnage on Nick At Nite re-runs), you've been waiting your whole life for this: Gabe Kotter taking down Arnold Horshack!!


Ahhhh, that was good, wasn't it? Spacebooger himself has wanted to smack Horshack for a number of years, I reckon...

Bob Toomey and Bob Oksner (with an "assist from Ric Estrada") fulfilled your dreams in Welcome Back, Kotter #8 (1977).

Now, unless you want me to get seriously strange with the rest of my Friday Night Fights this bout, you'd better go vote for me. Or next week is The Flying Nun...