Monday, July 31, 2017

Manic Dredd Day The Quest For Peace--Keep A Civil Tongue!

Sure, you have a right to a lawyer in Mega-City One--but it doesn't help if he's a rude jerk!


Remember--keep your misogyny to yourself!! it's only going to make things worse!!

From the Daily Star Judge Dredd strip (1984), as reprinted in Judge Dredd: The Daily Dredds Volume One (2014)

Manic Dredd Day Triple Overtime--Dredd The Exterminator!!

No one--human or insect--is immune to Judge Dredd's charm!

Maybe he could help New York City with its bedbug problem...?

From the Daily Star Judge Dredd strip (1984), as reprinted in Judge Dredd: The Daily Dredds Volume One (2014)

Manic Dredd Day Bonus--The Secret Judge Dredd/Scooby Doo Crossover!!

In the most recent issue of 2000 AD:

Zoinks!! And jinkies!!

I suppose that it's good to know that Shaggy and Velma make it to the 22nd century.

Or is it?

Oh, Shaggy. You should have stuck with the pizza and Scooby Snacks...

At least Scrappy Doo is not around in this future...we hope!!

From 2000 AD #2041 (2017)

Manic Dredd Day--Are You Lookin' At Me?!?

It's usually for the best that you keep your eyes to yourself in Mega-City One:

But wait--how is that fair?!?

Fair enough!! Keep your eyes to yourselves, perps!!

From the Daily Star Judge Dredd strip (1984), as reprinted in Judge Dredd: The Daily Dredds Volume One (2014)

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Adolf--Dictator Of Nuts!!

There were anti-Hitler comics, and then there was this:

Well, our hero, Snarzan The Ape, isn't going to take this lying down!

Thus is the fate of all would-be jungle dictators!!

From Great Comics #1 (1941)

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Spoiler Saturday--Doomed To Repeat Yourself!!

One of the few good things about the nu52 is that it removed that cankerous sore, Identity Crisis, from continuity.

FUN FACT: The Young Adult Library Services Association (YALSA), the "fastest growing division of the American Library Association (ALA)", picked Identity Crisis as one of their Great Graphic Novels for Teens for 2007.

Hey, young adult librarians, which was the best part that "great" book for teens--the murder of Firestorm with the weapon of a Golden Age hero? The murder for hire of Robin's father by an overweight, bumbling Captain Boomerang?? Turning a classic villain into a drooling rapist, and having him violate one of DC's more beloved supporting characters? Man, how can you choose--that was all great stuff for teens to read.

Or how about the part where our heroes turn on each other, and Zatanna erases Batman's memories?!?

Ahh, but at least that's off the books now, right?!?!

Hahahaha, as if the sadistic frakkers at DC will ever stop worshiping and referencing that pile of fetid turd.

In this week's Detective Comics #961, we're flashing back to young Bruce Wayne's apprenticeship with Zatara, when Bruce stumbles upon some magical knowledge that the magician deems too dangerous for him to have:

Exact same spell, exact same facial expression on Bruce.

Slow clap...

Thank you, James Tynon IV and Alvaro Martinez, for reminding us that many at DC still consider Identity Crisis good, and worthy of homaging.

Go frak yourselves. DC.

Friday, July 28, 2017

Friday Night Fights--This Is MY Batman Style!!

One of my big problems with many modern day interpretations of Batman is that he no longer has time for common crime. He's to busy fighting city-wide--if not global--apocalypses, trotting around the globe seeking clues to millennia-old conspiracies, and putting together teams to invade foreign countries to actual stop a mugger or a bank robber.

So for this Friday Night Fights, let's hop into the Wayback Machine, to a hot summer night in Gotham City...


And the moral of our story?

"That's why I'm around--to give them a reason not to."

The sad fact is, if the Snyder/King version of Batman had been around when Bruce was a child, his parents still would have been killed, because their Batman has no time for mere street crime and muggers like Joe Chill...

Spacebooger thinks Jim Aparo should draw everything.

A crime-fighter actually fighting crime is from The Brave And The Bold #168 (1980), by Cary Burkett and Jim Aparo.

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Because if you don't, Batman will go on a 14-month arc hunting some foreign menace and 258 people left behind in Gotham will die. So go and vote!!

Thursday, July 27, 2017

When You Can't Afford A Name-Brand Jungle Hero!!

Do you need a jungle hero, but can't afford Ka-Zar?

Try Lo-Zar, the discount Ka-Zar!!

Lo-Zar, now gluten-free, and less filling!

Lo-Zar, for all of your generic jungle needs!!

Lo-Zar: not the pulp Ka-Zar, not the modern Ka-Zar--but an incredible simulation!

Lo-Zar: because every company needs their white Lord Of The Jungle!

Those images are from the covers Timely's Jungle Action #1-6 (1954-1955). Those were Lo-Zar's only appearances. Some of his stories were reprinted in the 70s, and they renamed him Tharn in those reprints, presumably to avoid his being confused with Kevin Plunder.

He never had a real name, or an actual origin. He was just your typical white jungle god.

If we ever get Agents Of Atlas back, maybe Marvel could include him on the team, or at least as a guest star...

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

The Saga Of--And Apology For--The Much-Delayed Mysterious Trunk Story!!

The last panel of the lead story from Daredevil Comics #4 (1941):

Well, that was interesting. It was pretty rare in those days to get a specific story advertised in a "next issue" blurb back then. Sure, you'd get a generic "follow Captain America's further adventures against the Nazis next month." But a specific story? Much of the industry was still too slapdash and poorly organized for such advanced planning.

Well, along comes issue #5 (1941):

I have absolutely no well of telling, but I'll bet this was the very first apology to readers in a comic book! And you have to love all the mystery and portent implied as to why the promised story wasn't presented.

One month later, in #6 (1941):


Well, let's jump ahead a month, to Daredevil #7 (1942):

Hurrah!! "At last!!"

But is the story actually inside? And why the delays?

I'll tell you what--that is probably the best explanation for delaying a comic book story that I've ever seen. Sure, it's almost certainly 100% BS, but man, it sure beats "the dog ate my homework" or "it was the Dreaded Deadline Doom!"

[Also note...the caption is using the cover dates for the issues in question, not the street dates, so the story is even more transparently flimflam. Daredevil #4 was cover dated October, but hit the streets September 5, 1941...and therefore must have been produced in August, if not earlier! So the blurb that says the killer was executed in December streeted in early November, and would have had to have been written in October, two months before the first alleged stay of eexcution!! Flimflammery!!]

Of course, we are left with why the story was actually delayed in the first place. Did Charles Biro come up with a nifty title for the next issue blurb, but then find trouble coming up with the actual story? Was the story farmed out to other uncredited hands, who failed to get it done in time? Were the stories in #5 & #6 so awesome and so pressing that Biro decided he just had to print those first? [SPOILER ALERT: no, they weren't.]

A mystery that will likely never be solved...