Monday, August 31, 2015

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--When The Cover Is The Spoiler!

Great cover...

But is it a spoiler? Because this exact scene is (at greater length) the climax of the first story in this issue:


So, minus points for being a total spoiler. But plus points for not being a lying cover--the scene actually occurs! More plus points for being a more economical version of the story? Still--total frakkin' spoiler, right?

I give up--what do you think?

From Airboy #61 (1949)

Manic Monday Bonus--Quick, Robbie, To The Bugle-Mobile!!

Most people don't realize the coolest thing about being the publisher of The Daily Bugle...

You get to go booming around town in the Bugle-Mobile!!

Delay justice! Help criminals escape! There's no limit to someone can accomplish when they have...The Bugle-Mobile!!

From Amazing Spider-Man #70 (1969)!

Manic Monday--One Costume Change That's Tough To Swallow!!

Clark Kent has been kidnapped by a minor crime boss, because they kinda sorta look alike, and the mook wants to pose as Kent until the heat is off!

Well, there's a problem, of course...Clark can't take off his clothes without revealing the he's really a cosplayer. So...

Wait...again, please?


Anyway, Clark outwits everyone, Snake-Eyes is arrested, and all is well that...

What? How did he get his Superman costume back? Well...

Ladies and gentleman...Superman just made a poop joke.

From Superman #294 (1975)

Sunday, August 30, 2015

SPOILER Sunday--Noman, Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D?!?

All right, I'm going to SPOIL a thing or three about the 2nd story in this week's S.H.I.E.L.D. #9--the 50th anniversary issue!!--and it's a prett good story, so if you don't wanna know, came back later.

SPOILERS commence after the four S.H.I.E.L.D. pictures...

Still here? Good.

So, as you recall, the stupidest, most upsetting thing Marvel has done in recent years was in the abominable Original Sin event, wherein we learned that...

Yup...we learned that Dum Dum Dugan was killed by Hydra about 10 minutes after he joined S.H.I.E.L.D., and Nick Fury used super-alien tech to Make his own Dum Dum LMD that thought he was still human.

Yes, every single appearance of Dum Dum Dugan post-1966 was not really Dugan.


Me, I had hoped that the Secret Wars reset was going to undo that, or bring over a Dum Dum from Earth-56123 or something.


Only now, he knows that he's an LMD...

He's a bit of a super-powered LMD...

...and whenever he dies, his consciousness is transferred to one of  "hundreds" of replacement bodies...

That's right...Dum Dum Dugan of S.H.I.E.L.D. is now essentially...

...Noman of T.H.UN.D.E.R. Agents (without the invisibility cloak).

Look, I won't lie. I despise with the passion of a thousand exploding sons what Original Sin did to Dugan (and to Nick Fury). But if you're not going to retcon that idiocy away, I guess this is a pretty good way to go.

And I have to confess, this is a really good story by Al Ewing and Stefano Caselli. It serves as a "pilot" for the forthcoming Howling Commandos Of S.H.I.E.L.D. series, which Maria Hill describes as "send scary monsters to fight scary monsters."

But here's the odd part...

This isn't the creative team that's doing the actual series! Why did Marvel have one set of hands make the "pilot," when someone completely different will be doing the regular series? This is no critique of Barbiere and Schoonover--I'm just saying that a story by Ewing and Caselli might not be a fair indication of what the series will actually be like.

So in summation--I still loathe what they did to Dugan; this is probably the best way to salvage it without retconning; Dugan is now Noman; this is a really good story and a promising pilot for the series; but the actual series is being made by different hands, so who knows?

Meanwhile, Nick Fury is still chained to the moon...

Saturday, August 29, 2015

J. Jonah Jameson's Honest, Unbiased Journalism!

Scene: all of the underworld is after some crazy ancient tablet. [SPOILER ALERT: It contains some alchemical  Fountain Of Youth formula that crime boss Silvermane wants.]

Spider-Man stops the Kingpin from stealing it, but the captured Fisk pretends that Spidey was his partner in the crime, so of course now all the police are after Web-head! Plus, student protesters who were demonstrating outside the building at the time are blamed for being complicit in the theft. Plus plus, J. Jonah Jameson gets into the middle of the mess, allowing the Kingpin to escape, getting into a screaming match with the Wallcrawler, and passing out from shock/exhaustion.

Whew...whoever said that this wasn't the Mighty Marvel Age of non-decompression?!?

Anyway, Robbie Robertson is running the Daily Bugle while JJJ is in the hospital, and Peter Parker just happens to have some pictures that resolve a lot of this mess:

See? That was easy!

Ah, but in the hospital, these revelations might be a tad less well-received!

 It *is* about the journalistic ethics!

Oh, Jameson...don't ever change. Do stop being a journalist, because, man, you're the Fox News of your day, brother. But you, personally...don't ever change!

From Amazing Spider-Man #71 (1969)