Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Barry & Iris Allen's American Bandstand!!

Most of you probably don't remember the brief period when Barry & Iris had a young co-ed living with them:

Given the way current DC writers have fixated on minor supporting characters from the Flash's past as love interests, I'm frankly surprised that no one has tried to to re-introduce Stacy as a nu52 love interest for the "younger, less experienced" Flash.

Anyway, the Allens are giving Stacy a lift to class one day...

Yes, it's 1975, and Iris Allen is still baffled by pop music. And you thought Barry was the uncool, stick-in-the-mud person in this relationship.

Indeed, Barry has some trenchant commentary on the world of pop music:

Ouch!! Cruel but true, Barry...

Sadly, as far as I'm aware, we never got Iris' reaction to hip-hop, or electronica...

From Flash #233 (1975)

Monday, September 29, 2014

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--When Titans Agree!

Judge Dredd has a message for you:

Could you go into some more detail, sir?

Well, there you go, then.

You know, when Judge Dredd and Homer Simpson agree on something...

...then it's gotta be right. Right?

The cover is from 2000 AD #533 (1987). The panel is from #532 (1987). Homer is from Springfield.

Manic Monday Bonus--Little Comic Of Horrors?

Botanists Trent and Harly discover a rare carnivorous plant in Brazil!!

In a stunningly bad move, they decide to bring it back to the U.S. of A.

On the way, they get into a little tiff, and Trent knocks Harly out!

Later, feeling bad, he comes back...but:

"Sorry you lost your temper"? Dude, you cold-coked him into unconsciousness!!

Also--you leave a helpless body in the same room as man-eating plant...gee, I wonder what happened to him!

Back home, even house pets aren't safe:

Gee, I wonder what happened to the dog??

And cleaning ladies aren't particularly safe, either:

OK, this is getting out of hand...

Ah, but we're not done yet...


Now, before you accuse this story of ripping of The Little Shop Of Horrors, please realize that Beware #12 (1954) came out almost 6 years BEFORE the Roger Corman "classic."

So did Corman rip off an old horror comic? Were both the comic and film inspired separately by 1931 short story "Green Thoughts" by John Collier--a story often cited as source for the movie--in which a murderous orchid kills people and grows buds in the shape of their heads. Or is it one of them dang coincidences?

At least they didn't make a musical of the comic story...

Manic Monday--The Dredd That Never Was

1987 was a happier time...a more optimistic era...a time when we could dream of things like this:

Where'd this come from?

You see, 2000 AD had just announced...

 Oh, so bright and optimistic! How could they know what was really to come??

And that particular poster?

A fan-submitted poster by Danny Cannon in 2000 AD #534 (1987). So full of hope and promise--Ridley Scott? Harrison Ford?!? Music by Peter Gabriel???

But be careful of what you wish for. Because 8 years later, that exact same Danny Cannon would be the one to direct this:

That is an irony so horrifying it should have been in an EC comic book.

So let that be the moral of the story--don't get too excited when they announce that one of your favorite characters is being made into a film--or you may one day find yourself directing a much-reviled, terrible version of it. It happened before, it can happen again...

Sunday, September 28, 2014

I Think Disney Might Sue Itself Over This One

So., I'm reading Avengers #14 (1965), and I find a story that's very, very familiar.

The Avengers, searching for a missing doctor who might be the only chance to save the life of The Wasp [SPOILER ALERT: She lived], stumbled across a base of alien fugitives in the Arctic wastes:

 No, no, not that, this:

Anyway, it turns out the Kallusians are being pursued by an evil galactic empire that is sparing no cost to find them:

No, no, I mean this:

And the evil aliens send a bunch of probes to explore various planets to see if the Kallusians are there:

No, no, I meant this:

And the probes explore the icy wastes:

No, that's wrong...why does this keep happening? I meant this:

Well, the probe finds a rebel relay station and destroys it:

No, not at all like that--like this:

Fortunately, one good guy is left, and he takes out the probe and alerts his people:

Sigh...no, like this:

In the comic, we don't see this guys final fate, but it's probably something like this:

Well, it seems pretty obvious to me that Stan Lee (plot), Paul Laiken & Larry Lieber (script), Jack Kirby (layouts), Don Heck (pencils) and Chic Stone (inks) deliberately and completely ripped off The Empire Strike Back for their Avengers comic book!!

I think that whoever owns Star Wars should sue the living heck (sorry, Don) out of whoever owns Marvel and the Avengers...oh, wait. Never mind.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Fat-Shaming Spider-Man!

The following letter appeared in Amazing Spider-Man #47 (1967), criticizing Peter Parker's appearance in an earlier issue:

Because I love you all so much, I dug up the panel in question, from Amazing Spider-Man #43 (1966):

Well, John Romita doesn't draw him as thin as Ditko did.

But fat?!? Foggy Nelson's twin brother???

Fortunately, for comparison's sake, this very same issue had a cameo by Foggy Nelson, also drawn by Romita. Let's compare, shall we?

Not even close. Sorry, Johnny Fisher of Ringwood, OK, but you're wrong. Even though Peter is slightly huskier than you're used to, he's nowhere near as big as Foggy (who, by the way, doesn't seem particularly fat here, either). So thanks for the gratuitous weight-shaming!

BTW, here's the response:

A chubby, roly-poly arachnid would be cute!

Friday, September 26, 2014

Friday Night Fight--Kraven Dance Party Style!!

It's the money round of Friday Night Fights, so please pay attention--I need the cash!!

Flash Thompson has enlisted in the army, and the gang is having a party to celebrate before he goes off to Vietnam!

And you can't have a 1967 party without watching swinging chicks dancing, John Romita style!!

I would gladly read an entire comic--hell, an entire year of comics--that consisted of nothing but Romita-drawn ladies dancing!

But there's always a party-crasher:

See, Kraven is looking to kidnap Harry Osborn, so he can get revenge on Norman Osborn, whom Kraven thinks is a flunky of the Green Goblin's, because Kraven thinks the Goblin disrespected and cheated him!

Whew...long story short, the dance party is now a fight party!!

Editor's note: Kraven's rays "magnetizes" his prey's "muscular electrolytes"!! Thanks, Stan, for inventing tasers (Silver Age style) a few decades early!

Well, Kraven gets distracted by Norman Osborn before he can administer the killing blow, and takes off to fight Spidey again the next couple of issues. Still, a pretty clear Kraven win!!

Spacebooger wanted to know what song(s) MJ and Gwen were dancing to, but then he realized that it really didn't matter.

Kraven's Dance Party is courtesy of Amazing Spider-Man #47 (1967), by Stan Lee and John Romita

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why?!? Because if you don't, Kraven might magnetize your muscular electrolytes!! So go and vote!!