Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--It Doesn't Take A Thief!!

There are 2 lessons that Kid Eternity needs to learn from this week's adventure.

First, be much, much more careful who you summon to help you.

Second, avoid soundproof rooms.

Surprisingly, we don't start with Kid and Keeper lazing about. No, we go to death row, where Bruiser Malloy is awaiting execution.

Until he escapes, that is!

Of course, escaping execution only to die during the escape may not be the best trade-off...

But really, are you going to trust these guys on whether Bruiser is dead...? Or do you want to go to the death experts?

Ah, it's good to see our boys doing nothing but lounging.

It's also nice to know that Keeper functions as an early version of "Dead or Alive." Who needs the internet? Just ask Keeper!!

As our heroes vow to track Bruiser down, he goes to hide out with his Dad. Dad, however, in not sympathetic!

Hmm, what oddly specific and no doubt wholly irrelevant information about a soundproof room!

Bruiser, by the way, is not a good son:

So whom does the Kid call upon?

Jim Corbett, in his second summoning. Yes, it's another boxer, but it's our first repeat boxer!!

And he's good, up to a point...

...but Dad can't stand watching his son beat up, so he intervenes...


So, boxers don't do well against escaped killers armed with guns. Good to know!

The Kid has an inspiration!

Gerald Cronson!!
Wait, who the hell is that?

As near as anyone can tell, writer Bill Woolfolk just created the guy out of thin air for this story.

Which is odd, because there were plenty of actual dead "notorious criminals" from the 1920s and 1930s whom Kid could have called upon.

Were they afraid of offending gangsters who may have been friends with Capone or Dillinger? Was Cronson really real, and the letterer just screwed up the name somehow? We'll never know...

Anyway, Keeper reminds Kid that "it takes a thief to catch a thief" only works with Cary Grant or Robert Wagner, not vicious murdering gangsters. So...

Hmm, why mention that soundproof room again?

Oh, now I get it...

Cronson wasn't sent back, because Kid said the magic word in a soundproof room. Which gets into some weird metaphysical areas. You mean a soundproof room can block what you say from being head by God/heaven/Eternity?!? Am I safe to blaspheme in a soundproof room?!?

Meanwhile, Bruiser goes to visit the old girlfriend he believes ratted him out!

Geez, the bodies are really piling up in this story!!

Well, Kid needs some detective help...

C. Auguste Dupin!!

Uh, Kid, you know he didn't really solve the Rue Morgue murders, right? You know he's just fictional?!?
Well, it's a pretty boring solution, so let's jump ahead to the Kid being being captured by the killers Cronson and Malloy, who've teamed up for...EVIL!!

Well, Kid wakes up, and he doesn't panic...



Yeah, Rustum, from Matthew Arnold's poem Sohrab and Rustum.

Man, I should be charging you guys for the education you're getting here every week!!

Meanwhile, the bad guys have a plan...

Well, only one hero of the past can stop that!

Frank Gotch was one of the first professional wrestlers, widely credited with popularizing the "sport" in the USA. So now you know who to blame when your Twitter feed gets filled with people live-tweeting wrestling matches...

Malloy surrenders, and goes back to prison.

But what about Cronson?!?

The third rail?!? On locomotive tracks?!?!

OK, OK, "mixed" or "dual-powered" railways systems weren't uncommon, especially in the New York area. So we'll let that slide.

Meanwhile, someone has to plan the funerals for the prison guard and Malloy's father and girlfriend and...

Hey--we haven't checked in with Her Highness and Silk for a while. What are they up to?!?

Don't ever change, ladies...

After 24 stories, the standings are...

Achilles 2
Antony, Marc 1
Atlas 2
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Barry's father 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bucephalus 1
Bunyan, Paul 2
Byron, George Gordon 1
Caesar, Octavian 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Carden, Foster 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 1
Columbus 1
Corbett, Jim 2
Cronson, Gerald 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
D'artagnan 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Don Quixote 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 1
Galahad 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Hercules 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Holmes, Sherlock 1
Houdini 2
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Khan, Genghis 1
Kidd, William 1
King Arthur 1
Leander 1
Lee, Robert E. 1
Leonidas 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Marable, Fate 1
Mercury 3
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobody 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Porthos 1
Prometheus 1
Robin Hood 2
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Siegfried 1
Solomon 1
Sullivan, John L. 1
Tell, William 1
Thor 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Vercingetorix 1
Washington, George 1
Webster, Daniel 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--The Kid may not know art, but he knows what he likes!!

From Hit Comics #42 (1946)

1 comment:

anthrax2525 said...

Viscous murderers?
Vicious, maybe, unless he got all gooey at some point in the story that we didn't see.