Friday, November 30, 2018

The True Origin Of The Thunderbolts!!

Look, whomever owns Hostess these days--it's time to bring back these ads in our modern comic books!!

BONUS--We could have Saga Hostess ads, where someone claims they don't like fruit pies, and Lying Cat says...

Yes, I'm a regular Darrin Stevens.

Now someone make this happen!!

From Thunderbolts #9 (1997)

Dial E For Eternity--Blowing Up The Death Star!!

Man, Kid Eternity is always fascinated by the little things...

Guys digging holes? Gee, Eternity really needs cable or something.

But Kid may be on to something, as our comedy communists, Scargo and Gritz, are up to no good:

Hey, there's no law against digging rectangular holes in the ground!!

But the Kid gets snoopy...

And gets beat down for it!!

Actually, there *is* a law against that, Scargo!

You'd think that the Kid would have learned by now that he just can't fight worth a darn.

So what are Scargo and Gritz after?

Who is Humphries?!?

Suddenly, this is a pretty crappy picnic!

Poor dumb Kid tries again...

Kid manages to get distracted by trivia when the two women are about to be murdered...

Edgar Allen Poe!!

A code so simple a dead 19th century author can immediately read it?!? Work on your ciphers, guys!!

Richard The Lionheart (not "Lion-Hearted"...sigh)!! This is Richard's second summons!!

Damn...only the flat of his blade?

Gritz makes off with Humphries, while the ladies go for help...

But where does Gritz go?

What the hell is that?!?

But he drops something on the way out...

You know, I would have thought that printing up new postage stamps would be pretty far down the to-do list when you're trying to overthrow a government. But what do I know?

Fortunately, that bit of preparation provides Kid with the clue he needs to follow Gritz...upwards!!

What the hell?!?

Good heavens, the first helicarrier!!!!!!

Gritz brings Humphries to the boss...

But General Poshka doesn't tolerate partial successes!

HOLY CRAP!! We'll miss you, Gritz!!

But can we finally get an answer to the Humphries question?

Really? it's just a counterfeiting scheme?

We need someone to explain this to us!

Sidney Reilly--The Ace of Spies!!

Umm...shower me with some of those bills? i promise not to ruin the economy!

But Reilly can do more than explain the economics of massive counterfeiting:

He's a crack shot!!

We have a running gun battle...

...and a daring parachute escape!!

And how will we smash the platform? Let's use up the special effects budget for the rest of the year!

The Lafayette Escadrille!!

Sure, let's use a WWI fighter squadron to take on a futuristic helicarrier!!

Whoa--actual science!!

So whom to call now?

Richtofen's Flying Circus!!

Stay on target!!

Great shot, guys--one in a million!!

Yeah, you might want to mention these overt acts of war to your government, Humphries!


Kid has has enough of investigating holes!!

Still, what a story--spies, counterfeiting, skydiving, gun battles, dogfights...whew!

The was the 78th Kid Eternity story, and after blowing up the Death Star, the standings are:

Abu 1
Achilles 4
Adam 1
Alden, John 1
Antony, Marc 2
Apollo 1
Aramis 2
Arnold, Benedict 1
Arthur, King 2
Astor, John Jacob 1
Athos 2
Atlas 3
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Baker, Lafayette 1
Barry's father 1
Barton, Clara 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 4
Blackhawk 1
Bloodhounds (Legree's) 1
Bluebeard 1
Bolivar, Simon 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bowie, Jim 1
Boyd, Belle 1
Brady, Diamond Jim 1
Brady, Matthew 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bridger, Jim 1
British Tank crew 1
Bucephalus 2
Bunyan, Paul 3
Byron, George Gordon 2
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Calhoun, John C. 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Capulet, Juliet 1
Carden, Foster 1
Carpenter, Daniel 1
Cave Man 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Christian, Fletcher 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cleopatra 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 2
Colt, Samuel 1
Columbus, Christopher 2
Corbett, Jim 3
Corcoran, Peter 1
Cortes, Hernan 1
Crillon 1
Crockett, Davy 1
Cronson, Gerald 1
Crusaders 1
Crusoe, Robinson 1
Custer, George Armstrong 2
D'artagnan 2
d'Aubigny. Julie 1
Daedalus 1
Dagger Dan 1
Davis, Richard Harding 1
de Bergerac, Cyrano 2
de Leon, Ponce 1
de Rais, Gilles 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Dracula 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Earhart, Amelia 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 2
Fagin 1
Fairbanks, Douglas Sr. 1
Faraday, Michael 1
Fink, Mike 1
Frankenstein's Monster 1
Franklin, Ben 1
Galahad 1
Geronimo 2
Goliath 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Gothicus, Claudius 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Graymalkin 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Grimm, Joe 1
Gulliver, Lemuel 1
Hamilton, Alexander 1
Hatfield, John 1
Hathorne, John 1
Hauser, Kaspar 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 2
Hermann, Alexander 1
Hickathrift, Tom 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Hodges, Joe 1
Holmes, Sherlock 4
Hopkins, Matthew 1
Horatius Cocles 1
Houdini, Harry 3
Houston, Sam 1
Hyde, Edward 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Ikhnaton 1
Ismail, Yusuf 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
James, Jesse 1
Javert 2
Jeffries, Jim 1
Johnson, Martin 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Jove 2
Kamehameha 1
Khan, Genghis 2
Kidd, William 1
Lafayette Escradille 1
Lafayette, General 1
Lancelot 2
Larsen, Wolf 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Laveran, Charles 1
Leander 3
Lee, Robert E. 1
Legree, Simon 1
Leonidas 2
Light Brigade 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Lister, Joseph 2
Macbeth's Witches 1
Marable, Fate 1
Marshall, John 1
Masterson, Bat 1
McGrew, Dan 1
Mercury 5
Merlin 1
Mesmer, Franz 1
Milo Of Croton 2
Minutemen 1
Mix, Tom 1
Montague, Romeo 1
Montezuma 1
Morgan, Henry 1
Mounties 1
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Neanderthal 2
Nefertiti 1
Neptune 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobel, Alfred 2
Nobody 2
North Wind 1
Nostradamus 2
O'Brien, David 1
Oakley, Annie 1
Og 1
Orpheus 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pasteur, Louis 1
Penelope 1
Perseus 1
Pheidippides 2
Pied Piper 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Pocahontas 1
Poe, Edgar Allen 1
Porthos 4
Post, Wiley 1
Prometheus 1
Quixote, Don 2
Reilly, Sidney 1
Revere, Paul 1
Richard the LionHeart 2
Richtofen's Flying Circus 1
Rin-Tin-Tin 2
Robespierre, Maximilien 1
Robin Hood 3
Roc 1
Rogers' Rangers 2
Röntgen, Wilhelm 1
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Ryan, Paddy 1
Samson 3
Sandow, Eugen 1
Sayers, Tom 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Selous, Frederick 1
Serra, Junipero 1
Shakespeare, Willaim 1
Siegfried 1
Silver, Long John 2
Skunk, Jimmy 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Stanley, Henry 1
Steinmetz, Charles 2
Stogie 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Tecumseh 1
Tell, William 1
Thalfi 1
Thor 3
Thumb, Tom 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tuck, Friar 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Uncas 1
Valjean, Jean 1
Vercingetorix 1
Villa, Pancho 1
Villon, Francois 1
von Helmholtz, Hermann 1
Vulcan 2
Washington, George 3
Watson, John H 1
Webster, Daniel 2
Whittington, Richard 1
Wright Brothers 1
Xanthippe 1
Zapata, Emiliano 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1
Zorro 1

NEXT--The Super-Video-Telepathizer!!

From Kid Eternity #13 (1949)

Thursday, November 29, 2018

Bold Fashion Choices--The Worst Of Both Worlds!!

If you want to impress the Super Friends,trying combining the costume of The Phantom with the costume of Kraven The Hunter!

No, it's not just the cover taking liberties:

Hey, Menagerie Man:

A) If you're going to have a large M on your chest, why have it partially obscured by your leopard-kini?

B) Why is it just M on your chest but MM on your belt buckle? Pick one and commit, bro!

Still, you can't argue with his mustache game!

The Atom finally takes cares of "The Fashion Disaster That Walks":

From Super Friends #6 (1977)

The Best Cover You've Never Seen--Captain America #284 (1983)

By Mike Zeck And John Beatty.