Monday, June 30, 2014

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Too Many Lanterns?

Some people don't deal with change very well.

Major Disaster knows that Green Lantern is Hal Jordan, and he wants a face-off with his greatest foe. So he's threatening to blow up a dam unless GL shows up.

Well, Green Lantern does show up...just the wrong one:

See, Hal Jordan recently quit as a Green Lantern (because part of being considered the "Greatest Green Lantern Of All Time" apparently involves being a quitter), and John Stewart has the role.

But nobody told Major Disaster about this "many Lanterns from Earth" business...

Well, let's skip some pointless fisticuffs, and cut to the chase:

Well. the dam accidentally blows up anyway, because Disaster sucks at his job.

And, like some higher-ups at DC, he just can't fathom the possibility that someone besides Hal Jordan could be Green Lantern...


Of course it was all a trick by John. Because some Green Lanterns can think their way through a fight.

From Green Lantern #183 (1984)

Manic Monday Bonus--What's That Coming Out Of Your Crotch, Superboy?

Long story short: exposure to red kryptonite has turned Clark Kent into a selfish jerkwad, and he has revealed his secret identity as Superboy to the world.

So of course, crooks turn up at his doorstep with a hunk of green kryptonite. Gee, that's a well thought-out masterplan, guys.

Clark is back to normal now...but how can he regain his secret identity? And how can he survive the kryptonite?

So how did young Kal-El protect himself from the green K?


"Spraying a quick-hardening green luminous lead paint quickly out of tiny opening in the belt buckle"? Or taking a super-whiz on it? You make the call...

From Superboy # 107 (1963)

Manic Monday--The Best Part About Having The Power Of Flight

The part about having the power of flight that they never tell you about:

That would be cool if I could do it; rather creepy if someone else did it...

From Super Goof #71 (1983)

Sunday, June 29, 2014

All The In-Jokes That Are Fit To Print!

Those olde tyme comic creators sure knew how to poke fun at each other!!

Take the Target story in Target Comics 17 (1941), written and drawn by Bob Wood.

If you look at the headlines on some of the newspapers in the story, you'll see some greetings to fellow comic book creators:
This one says "Jerry Robinson, Famous Etcher, Finishes First Job In 3 Weeks."

And then there's a shout out to inker George Roussos (who also used the pseudonym George Bell):

Robinson and Roussos worked with Wood on early stories of The Target, doing backgrounds, inks and lettering. And this is the thanks they get?

Heh heh, chiding your peers for tardiness. One can only wonder what messages about Jim Lee Wood would sneak into his comics if he were alive today...

And yes, that is the same Bob Wood who created Crime Does Not Pay, and went on to murder a woman in a hotel room during an 11-day drunken tryst:

So stay on his good side, OK?

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Golden Age Idol--The Greatest Missed Marketing Opportunity EVER!!!

Mista Whiskas asks,"who were the heroes in the background of this post?"

The answer is...

The Target (and the Targeteers)!!

After nine issues of Target Comics, Novelty Press decided they needed a hero with the same name as the comic! So enter...The Target!!

Who was the Target? Well, he was Niles Reed, millionaire metallurgist! His brother Dan was the district attorney, until the mob framed and convicted Dan for murder. Dan was killed when Niles was trying to help him escapee, leaving Niles embittered against criminals.

So how to fight crime? Well, when you're rich, you can take out full page ads in the newspaper:

He also took out ads on national radio shows, sent telegrams to all known criminals warning them that their lifestyle was coming to an end...Niles was the master of all media!

And when you're a millionaire metallurgist, you can invent things like this:

But what if crooks shoot him in the face?

Ahhhh! Well, it works for Batman...

But wait...there's one more trick up the Target's sleeve:

How can he be in three places at once?

Now that's cheating.

Dave and Tommy Reed were orphans, their parents killed by gangsters. They met Niles, moved in with him, and became the Targeteers!!

And thus was born America's greatest missed opportunity...

Wait...what missed opportunity?

Well, these guys are public domain now...why the hell doesn't retail giant Target revive them, as their own store brand hero?

Good gosh, what a natural tie-in!!

And, given the bad publicity Target had with the "hackers stole all your credit card information" scandal last winter, well, having your own heroes devoted to stamping out crime might have been just the counter-publicity needed!

Plus, with the Targeteer concept, there's no reason they couldn't put a hero in each and every store in the chain!! Like Santa Claus, except it's year-round...and he's a super-hero!! Kids would beg to go into Target--every day!!!!!!

I mean, c'mon, the idea worked so well for Dollar Bill!! And, bonus--no capes!!! one ever listens to my brilliant ideas...

From Target Comics #10-11 (1940)

Friday, June 27, 2014

Friday Night Fight--No One Puts Baby In The Corner Style!!

OK, ya lousy swabs, you didn't want to vote for my Popeye fight last week?

Then it's time to try again for this week's Friday Night Fights--with the irresistible Swee'pea!!

An unnamed, unbeaten fighter has come to challenge Popeye!! But the Sailor Man is in the shower, so young Swee'pea is entertaining the big galoot:

From the fists of babes...

Spacebooger still wonders exactly how old Swee'pea is supposed to be...

Bud Sagendorf presents all facets of the baby beat-down in Four Color #219 (1949)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight! Why? The power of Swee'pea compels you!! Now go vote!!