Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--The Violent World Of Fine Art!!

Man, you guys are going to learn stuff today, whether you want to or not!

This tale starts in the second Kid Eternity mode, where a dead guy to Kid and asks his help in saving his legacy on Earth:

Man, this series has the weirdest damn theology. Dead artists physically feel it when someone damages one of their paintings?!! What about authors? Do they feel it when their book is burned? Or when it's poorly adapted by hack screenwriters?


The Night Watch, as it is commonly known, is one of Rembrandt's more famous paintings:

And when Kid and Keeper get to Earth, they indeed find that it is being stolen!!

Minor quibble: The Night Watch is a large painting, roughly 12 feet x 14 feet--much, much larger than is shown here.

Our thief is the otherwise unnamed Count:

Kid decides that he can handle these art thieves on his own:

But then the guns come out, so he asks for help from...


Kid, did you actually read Les Miserables? Javert is kind of a full-on asshole. Look:

Yeah, he's going to beat these punks to death!

The Count escapes during the melee...but don't worry, the Kid calls for more help:


Hmm...that wasn't very helpful, was it?

Well, actually, it wasn't very cryptic at all, as Kid quickly gloms onto the meaning:

Hey, Nostradamus was right for once!!

The Count knocks Kid out with the poison he used the previous night to take out the guard:


The Count decides to steal Franz Hals' The Laughing Cavalier!

The Laughing Cavalier!!

Now, no one knows who the model for that painting was...I guess Eternity has that all on file, though, so Kid doesn't need to summon him by name.

And the Cavalier is a bad mother...

Geez, what is it with everyone Kid summons wanting to kill art thieves?

Again the guns come out...

The Discus Thrower!!

Another unnamed art model!! Call Mona Lisa next, Kid!!

Ah, but the Frisbee tosser gets the job done!

It turns out the Count wasn't stealing for money, but because, gosh darn it, he just loves art!!

And at the end of our tale...

Nap time for Keeper!!

After 25 stories. the summoning standings are:

Achilles 2
Antony, Marc 1
Atlas 2
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Barry's father 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bucephalus 1
Bunyan, Paul 2
Byron, George Gordon 1
Caesar, Octavian 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Carden, Foster 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 1
Columbus 1
Corbett, Jim 2
Cronson, Gerald 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
D'artagnan 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Don Quixote 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 1
Galahad 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Hercules 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Holmes, Sherlock 1
Houdini 2
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
Javert 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Khan, Genghis 1
Kidd, William 1
King Arthur 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Leander 1
Lee, Robert E. 1
Leonidas 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Marable, Fate 1
Mercury 3
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobody 1
Nostradamus 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Porthos 1
Prometheus 1
Robin Hood 2
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Siegfried 1
Solomon 1
Sullivan, John L. 1
Tell, William 1
Thor 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Vercingetorix 1
Washington, George 1
Webster, Daniel 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

Next--where there's no will, there's still a way!

From Kid Eternity #3 (1946)

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