Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--It's My Way Or The Highway!!

Look, Kid Eternity is going to go off on a whole tangent about how this story is just like the American Revolution, and he summons a ton of Revolutionary War heroes.

Don't be fooled, though. This story is about one thing, and one thing only: ripping off Roadhouse.

Our heroes start off unproductively (again)...

...but soon enough they encounter trouble!

Kid takes matters into his own hands...

...until the bad guys cheat outrageously!!

So let's get some help from...

John L. Sullivan!! Congratulations,'s your second summoning!!

Of course, he makes quick work of the thugs.

The victim is safe...

And the police show up. So that's the end of the story, right?


Let the man tell his story:

Dude, you're totally ripping off Roadhouse!!

No, Kid, that analogy doesn't work at all. This is Roadhouse!!

Man, if only this were present day, you could summon Patrick Swayze, and he could roust the evil Boss Dreer (no doubt played by Ben Gazzara!!)

Kid goes another way--call a town meeting!

Now, you'd think all you have to do is lay down Dalton's three simple rules: "
One, never underestimate your opponent..expect the unexpected; Two, take it outside, never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary; and nice.
Hank: [Incredulously] Come on!!
But no, the townspeople are as skittish as if Brad Wesley has just run his monster truck through the local car dealership!!

Kid tries, but he's no Dalton:

So he calls Wade, no such luck:

Patrick Henry!!

And what do you know--it works!!

Well, you can't question that reasoning!!

Who will lead them?!?

General Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, a.k.a. Marquis de Lafayette!! (Damn ,those French have long names...)


Well, Dorset does indeed run straight to Dreer, revealing Lafayette's attack plans!

What's done is done, but Kid decides to shame Dorset for what he's done:

Benedict Arnold?!? Congratulations, sir--you are the 100th character summoned by Kid Eternity!!

Anyway, commence the shaming:


Anyway, Kid has to warn the good guys that their plans have been sussed. Who to do the job?!?

Paul Revere!! But the Kid is wrong--he's never been called, although Kid met him once, traveling in time. Unless, of course, there are untold adventures out the where he did call on Paul.

Regardless, Paul does his job:

And as the bad guys have "tommy guns," Kid sends more help!


The god makes short work of their weapons...

And Lafayette beats them up with fisticuffs--LIKE IN ROADHOUSE!!'ll become the new tin-pate tyrant the second Kid leaves. It's 50-50, I think...

Just like we never knew Dalton's full name.


Anyway, we had a bunch of summoning in this, the 26th Kid Eternity story. So our new standings:

Achilles 3
Antony, Marc 1
Arnold, Benedict 1
Atlas 2
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Barry's father 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bucephalus 1
Bunyan, Paul 2
Byron, George Gordon 1
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Carden, Foster 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 1
Columbus 1
Corbett, Jim 2
Cronson, Gerald 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
D'artagnan 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Don Quixote 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 1
Galahad 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Holmes, Sherlock 1
Houdini 2
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
Javert 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Khan, Genghis 1
Kidd, William 1
King Arthur 1
Lafayette, General 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Leander 1
Lee, Robert E. 1
Leonidas 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Marable, Fate 1
Mercury 3
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobody 1
Nostradamus 1
O'Brien, David 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Porthos 1
Prometheus 1
Revere, Paul 1
Robin Hood 2
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Siegfried 1
Solomon 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Tell, William 1
Thor 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Vercingetorix 1
Vulcan 1
Washington, George 1
Webster, Daniel 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--Kid goes to the dogs!!

From Kid Eternity #3 (1946)

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