Friday, May 26, 2017

There's No Satisfying The People Of Earth-4!!

A rogue group has stolen classified atomic secrets! Captain Atom tried to rustle them up! He lost his powers and got his butt kicked!!

And so everyone's favorite shows are interrupted!

Hahaha...the Mets winning. Now we know this is fiction!!

But, ti turns out that Clark Kent's glasses aren't the lamest disguise ever--it turns out that people don't recognize Nathaniel Adam as Captain Atom because...
...his hair is white!!

OK, then.

The public, it turns out, is not terribly sympathetic:

Vox populi!!

Well, Captain Atom regains his powers, gets a new costume, kicks the bad guys' butts, and recovers the ransom!! He's a hero again!!

Ah, but the polls show a more mixed result:

People--never, ever satisfied!! Especially that Washington upper class!!

From Captain Atom #84 (1967)

Thursday, May 25, 2017

"Blah Blah Family Blah Blah"!!

These days, it's de rigueur for group action franchises to insist that their bands of thieves/heroes are superior to others because they are "family"--I'm looking at you, Fast & Furious and Guardians Of The Galaxy!

Sorry, guys, but Bob Haney was there first.

Lilith has come up dry in yet another attempt to find her birth family...

But she pulls a Dominic Toretto in declaring that it doesn't matter, because...

Right on!!

I like that Robin's skirt is shorter than Lilith's...

From Teen Titans #43 (1973)

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Tales From The Quarter Bin--The True Origin Of Modern Art!!

It's 1962, and Joshua Carstairs is the hottest thing on the modern art scene!!

Some people are a teensy bit jealous, though...

Ah, but why rely on talent, when you can rely on...CRIME!!!

Fortunately, our jerk overhears a telling conversation:

Well, when he breaks into the home, and forces the locked door...

Oh, tragic irony!!

The pencils and inks in this story, by the way, are Gene Colan, who rocked even then.

"Hey, my kid could draw that!" is from Strange Tales #97 (1962), as reprinted in Weird Wonder Tales #21 (1977). I deliberately cut out the parts in the '77 reprint where the art was altered to work in Dr. Druid, because Marvel was trying to make Dr. Druid happen back then. You're welcome.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

No, I Won't Stop Complaining About This!

I remember a time when the Fantastic Four were known as Marvel's "First Family." Indeed, Marvel themselves likes to trumpet it:

Even today, you can Google "Marvel's First Family," and Google has no hestitation in declaring who it is:

And yet, even though we're far past the (abominable) movie that Marvel supposedly didn't want to give free publicity to, even though there's absolutely no sane reason to keep them off the table, Marvel still manages to insult us, like this:

Or this:

Hmm, who's missing here?

It's been more than two full years, Marvel. Bring 'em back.

Just bring 'em back.


Superman--Straight Up Playa!!

Poor Lana and Lois... never had a chance, did you?

BTW, in case you think it's weird that so many humans would have a double in Kandor, what with the Kryptonians being an alien species and all, well...

See, apparently the Kandorians are plotting to take over Metropolis once they're enlarged!!

BTW...Sylvia?!? Everyone else has a nice, standard, hyphenated Kryptonian name...and then there's Sylvia! What gives?

From Lois Lane #78 (1967)

Monday, May 22, 2017

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--The Myth of Fingerprints!!

It's Monday Morning Crime Time!!

What, he couldn't have worn gloves...?

Calhoun has done the crime, but he doesn't want to do the time!!

 If there's just one thing you should learn if you've read enough horror/crime/horror-crime comics, it's this:

Never rush the scientist whose experiments aren't ready yet!!

OK, so that experiment really wasn't ready for prime time yet...

At least they won't match Calhoun to his fingerprints now!!

Happy Monday!!

From Lawbreakers Suspense Stories #15 (1953)

Manic Monday Bonus--Venus, Goddess Of Magazine Editing!!

Poor Venus is bored stiff on her dreary old home on Venus:

So, she wishes herself to Earth, and because comics, she quickly becomes the cover girl--and editor!!--of the beauty magazine Beauty Magazine. Hmm, OK...

But soon enough, there's a problem!

Well, Venus has the solution, and takes a quick jaunt back to Venus!

So she takes them back to Earth, and...

And so...


You see, the gods of olden days live again--as magazine editors!!

From Venus #1 (1948)