Bendis, The Avengers And The Illusion Of Change

At the end of Bendis' record-setting Avengers run, we should acknowledge the many lasting changes he brought to the team (and we also should acknowledge that, as lynchpin of the Marvel Universe and the focus of many "events," other hands also deserve a share of responsibility/blame here).

The Scarlet Witch went mad, and killed several Avengers. Then she went madder and eliminated most of the worlds' mutants. Oops, never mind, she's better now, and the mutants are back.

Scott Lang was killed. Oops, never mind, he's alive again.

Hawkeye died. Oops, never mind, he's alive now.

The Vision was destroyed. Oops, never mind, he's all fixed.

The Wasp died. Oops, never mind, she's all better now.

Wonder Man went nuts, and decided to destroy the Avengers. Oops, never mind, he just sorta snapped back to normal with no explanation. All better now.

Doctor Strange lost the title of Sorcerer Supreme, and in a very overlong story, it went to Brother Voodoo. Oops, never mind, Voodoo died, and the title went back to Strange.

Avengers Mansion and/or Tower was destroyed at least three times (four? five?), and each time Tony Stark declared he was too broke to fix it. Oops, never mind, somehow it got fixed each time.

Bendis had the Scarlet Witch turn public opinion against the Avengers. And then Tony Stark turned public opinion against (some of) the Avengers. And then Norman Osborn. And then Wonder Man. And then Norman Osborn again. Silly villains--that trick never works!

And let us not forget the massive contributions of new members such as Echo, Quake, Storm, and the Protector! The Avengers would never be the same after their legendary tenures!

Yeah, I'm being a dickweed here. The time for a real retrospective will come later. And it has to be acknowledged that, during his tenure, the Avengers grew larger as a brand than it had ever been, rivaling the weight of Marvel's X-Titles.

But for now, let's just note that Bendis basically undid every single change he had made to the Avengers as he exited. Maybe that's just being polite--putting all the toys back in the toybox so the next kid can start fresh. Or maybe that's just an acknowledgement that nothing really happened during those 9 years.

The Skeeviest Brother Voodoo Story Ever

Look, I'm going to give you fair warning. Something in this post is going to make you go "EEEEEWWWWWWW" worse than you've ever gone "EEEEEEWWWWW" in your life. Seriously.

So if you don't want to get seriously sickened, don't read this post. I'll understand.

Still here? OK, you'll get two more warnings before the big gross-out.

Down in Haiti, Brother Voodoo has just rescued some folks in a rowboat during a storm. On the beach, his hot doctor girlfriend aids and comforts him:


Wow, that's nice...she loved him so much she decided to stay with him rather than follow her dreams.

Jericho Drumm, however, seems to be a bit tetchy:



OK, here's another warning: bail out now if you ever want to like this character again...



Final warning--if you keep reading, there's not enough soap in all the world to wash the vision of this scene out of your eyeballs...




EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

So, rather than trust her in a long-distance relationship, Jericho used his dead brother's ghost to possess her, and change her mind so she'd stay.

And Daniel's loa was inside her, as Jericho reveals later, for "several months."

EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

And while we don't see anymore of their...ahem...physical relationship than I've shown you here, we do get some pretty tight hugging, and a love as great as she professed must have involved a smooch or too....

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

And to make sure that we're completely clear on the concept here:

So Brother Voodoo was macking on a chick who had his dead brother's ghost inside her????? And in fact, dead ghost brother was compelling her actions?? So, effectively, he was playing tonsil hockey with his own dead brother????

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

And, of course, using your voodoo powers to make a chick give up her career goals (one of which was curing AIDS!!) just show she'll stick around and love you pretty much is a complete and utter fail on the great power/great responsibility scale. I mean, we're getting near Doctor Light territory for skeeviness and for totally destroying a character.

Oh, sure, he felt guilty, and he let her go. And she forgives him, and hopes that someday he can forgive himself. Seriously, she said that!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

Now, this was a story buried deep in Marvel Super-Heroes #1 (1990), an anthology/clean out our backfiles title, so probably only 10 people read it. But still, Scott Lobdell, Fred Hembeck (yes, THAT Fred Hembeck) and Dell Barras--what the hell were you thinking???

EWEEEWWWWWWWWWWWEWEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

Spoiler Saturday--(New) New Avengers #6!!

"ONE OF THESE AVENGERS WILL DIE?!?" Oh, heavens-to-Betsy, which one could it be??

A) Could it be, oh, I don't know, maybe the one who isn't actually an Avenger?!? I'm thinking one of these guys is not like the other...

B) Since you put all the guys on the cover for the next issue, AND released that cover as a promo mini-poster to comic shoppes, it's not one of them. Of course, that's the perils of doing covers that are merely all your heroes standing around looking fierce..I'm not picking on Stuart Immomen here, because someone should have said, "Bro, we're trying to keep the events of #6 a secret...maybe we shouldn't do a 'everybody vogues' cover?"

Sigh...I mean really, what was the point of that whole "who will be the new Sorcerer Supreme" storyline if you're just going to turn around and kill him off? Why all the elaborate set-up, just to toss Brother Voodoo onto the scrap heap?

Of course, he's not really dead--dude's got a brother who's "dead," and he had more dialogue in this issue than Ben Grimm or Ms. Marvel. And Doc Strange has been "dead" more times than I can count. But still, the whole enterprise has now taken on the feel of "we have no idea what to do with this book" wheel-spinning.

Speaking of wheel-spinning:

Hmmm...don't you think you'd want to handle this question BEFORE issue #7 of a new series? Instead of wasting 6 padded issues on a "let's kill off Brother Voodoo" storyline that pretty much ignored all the alleged stars of the book? I'm just sayin'...

Maybe It's The Umlaut...

I know that I mocked the overlong, unwieldy title of Jericho Drumm's new ongoing, Doctor Voodoo: Avenger Of The Supernatural.

Why, then, do I think this is such a cool title?

Maybe it's because Amadeus Wölf is also the name of an Irish race horse, which is just cool.

Maybe it's because "stalker of the supernatural" has pleasing alliteration, whereas "avenger of the supernatural" just sounds grating, a blatant attempt by Marvel to put the new Sorcerer Supreme firmly into the ever-expanding Avengers camp.

Maybe it's because I'm just more lenient on 40 year-old British comics. Especially since, in his original appearances, Amadeus Wölf's name was--and I'm not making this up--Cursitor Doom. Which in and of itself is pretty cool. (His name was changed for the American Quality reprints...why? Who knows??)

Perhaps it's because I'm just an inconsistent idiot.

Or maybe it really is because of the umlaut...

Go on, rock me, Amadeus Wölf!!

Manic Monday--Who Of The What Now?!?

From Marvel's October solicitations:

Really? Are you sure about that?

Yeah, I guess they're sure.

I guess I don't have a big problem with changing "Brother Voodoo" to "Doctor Voodoo," although I can't help but wonder why. Is it required that the Sorcerer Supreme have the "Doctor" title? I don't remember anybody calling out "Doctor Ancient One."

(Maybe they're doing it so Bendis can't give us more of the "Brudder Voodoo" crap...I'm just sayin'.)

But do we need to make the title of the mag ridiculously long by adding on "Avenger of the Supernatural"??!!

Does that mean he's going to be an Avenger? Does it mean if you're not supernatural, he's not going to help you? Does he not prevent supernatural crises, but only avenges them?

I know, I know, it's probably just put of Marvel's marketing strategy to make Avenger as big a brand name as X-Men. But still, it's unwieldy, ungraceful, and silly.

By the way, the Billy Tan cover really rocks...

Tales From The Quarter Bin--Compare And Contrast

Perhaps I'm beating a dead horse here, but when the quarter bin commands, you MUST listen.

Let's compare Strange Tales #173 (1974) by Len Wein and Gene Colan:

...with New Avengers #53, by Bendis and Billy Tan:

I'm just sayin'...

Bonus craziness:

Extra points for anyone humming Alice In Chains tunes here...

The Hollywood Shuffle

Just asking:

If all Bendis characters essentially "sound" the same in their dialogue (and they do)...

...And if Bendis can write characters of Canadian, Russian, East European, Greek, and gosh-knows-where-else origins without having to phonetically spell out their accents in the word balloons...

...Then why, exactly, is it that when a non-Caucasian person shows up...

...we're suddenly in cartoon stereotype dialect country? What is this, Jive Time Jimmy's Revenge?

Once more, with feeling:

Oh, dear...Perhaps Jericho Drumm has been attending Black Acting School...

Sweet Christmas, that panel comes from this week's New Avengers #53.