Why 1970s Spider-Man Was The Greatest Spider-Man, Chapter LIX--Monsters On The Prowl!!

Mathematically speaking, Spider-Man was clearly at his best in the 1970s.

Proof?

He went from fighting (and introducing) Man-Wolf...

...to fighting an anti-Jameson mummy...

...to discovering that the mummy was Man-Wolf!!

Mummy Man-Wolf. No other comic gave you that!!

Why 1970s Spider-Man Is The Best Spider-Man, Chapter XXXIV--Aunt May's OHMSS

You know why Spider-Man was best in the 1970s?

Because by going from her protecting Octavius from mysterious people out to get him...

...to a tragic wedding...

Aunt May essentially has the same arc as James Bond in On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

We have all the time in the world...

BTW, "With this ring, I thee----WEB?" is the second greatest thing every to appear on a comic book cover...

A Change Of heart (And Brains)

Vertigo books are running this page in the back all month, pumping up the new show:

You could quibble about, say, Constantine. But it didn't start as a Vertigo book (although it is one of the books that started Vertigo); and the book's current incarnation is nu52. So maybe it doesn't count.

Or maybe we're meant to parse the whole sentence, and it is Vertigo's first series on the CW. Aim high, Vertigo, aim high.

Of course, Vertigo and DC weren't quite so proud and boastful about iZombie when they cancelled the book, and forced a truncation of the final storyline. No trumpeting about Eisner Award nominations then.

And DC/Vertigo didn't seem all that enamored of the book when they fired writer/co-creator Chris Roberson.

But hey, TV money changes everything, I guess. Now they can be all triumphalist about the book that they previously didn't think worth keeping around.

Still, the article perhaps should have been headlined "iZombie is the series Vertigo shit-canned and forgot about until the CW was desperate for new programming--but now we love it!! Watch it!!"

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--The #1 Reason Not To Ban Chewing Tobacco!!

The "young mistress" of the W-W Ranch, Wilma West, decides to teach a lesson to "Bull" Slaine, the "town tough" who has been bullying her ranch hands:

Well, when you humiliate a Western bully, you can bet the ranch that he'll come back for disproportionate revenge!

OK, well, that's maybe going a bit too far.

Fortunately, faithful old ranch hand Sonora Sam finds Wilma in time...

But how can he stop a dangerous snake??

HELL YEAH!!!!

An "unerring stream of tobacco juice" spit into a snake's eye works every time!!

So it's your choice, America--ban chewing tobacco, and put us all at the mercy of venomous snakes!!

Meanwhile...

...I think Sonora Sam just might get lucky tonight...yet another reason not to ban chewing tobacco!

From Western Crime Busters #1 (1950)

Manic Monday Bonus--From here To Eternium!!

An ad in Western Crime Busters #1 (1950):

OK, a lucky glowing skull ring is pretty cool.

But what's it made of?

Eternium? They were mining in World Of Warcraft that long ago? Or perhaps a close encounter with the planet from Futurama? The strongest metal from Eternia in He-Man?!?! The Israeli death/thrash metal band?!?! What is this "eternium"???

"Harder than steel, brilliant as silver, luxurious as platinum!" And not just eternium-plated--nope, this is SOLID eternium!!

Oh, yeah, they had a pirate ring made of eternium, too:

This fine blog came up with a real live sample of the lucky skull ring:

Man, the Phantom wishes he had a skull ring this cool...

Manic Monday--What The Hell Was Going On In 1975?!?!?!?1

Look, I don't know how to explain this, but 1975 was apparently a vortex of psychedelia, bare chests, randomly changing colors, bare chests, impossible fashions, bare chests, groovy (and constantly changing) wall decor...and bare chests.

So, presenting your drug-free Manic Monday Freak Out! Enjoy!!

Wait...she's wearing what? Huh? Wait...is that Gamora??

Dude...get a shirt!

He's not going to get a shirt, is he?

I don't think that suitcase is big enough to hold all the outfits that she has displayed...

If Wolverine did romance comics...?

A new town, a new outfit--still no shirt!!

The shifting colors--the chest hairs--the decor.....ahahahahaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!

From Love And romance #21 (1975). Pencils and inks by Enrique Nieto. No credit given for the colors...

The best Cover You've Never Seen--Love And Romance #6 (1972)

Holy moly, that's great!!!

Cover by Sal Gentile.

Why 1970s Spider-Man Was The Best Spider-Man, Chapter XLII--Rocket Racer And Big Wheel

Yes, I know this is nostalgia talking, but 1970s Spider-Man was the best Spider-Man. Period.

Why?

Not only did Spidey fight a guy with a super-powered skateboard...

...but they brought Rocket Racer back to battle him again...

...and then they both faced the menace of:

BIG WHEEL!!!

Seriously, they don't write 'em like that anymore...

Covers from 1977 and 1978.

Friday Night Fights--Pirate Vs. Ninja Style!!

Throughout history, one unanswerable question has plagued mankind:

Who would win in a fight--a pirate or a ninja?

Well, this week's Friday Night Fights answers that one pretty decisively.

"Carib Indian" pirate Captain Fear is stealing a valuable document (long story) from the governor of a Spanish colony. Much gold and huge international ramifications are at stake...

Ah, but there is another interested party!

DING!! DING!! DING!! Pirate beats ninja!! It's proven, scientifically!!!

Spacebooger is a stickler for details, so he wants you to know that the document in question is "a secret communique between dissident factions in Japan and the King of England! The Japanese are offering to finance England's current war against Austria in exchange for England's help in overthrowing Japan's ruling Shogun!"

History's greatest debate solved by David Michelinie and Walt Simonson in Unknown Soldier #255 (1981)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why?!? PIRATE VS. NINJA. Duh. So go vote!!