Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--Godwin's Law!!

Buckle up friends--we're in for a bit of a crazy ride!

We start with the most important thing I've learned from comic books:

Don't piss off crank inventors!!

Especially when they've invented...

...a super-video-telepathizer!!

Um...what the hell is a super-video-telepathizer?

OK, just a kooky TV?



So he can watch anywhere, and influence the people he's watching? Geez, Army Ordinance Department...why the hell wouldn't you want this weapon?!?! Even if you don't, you know, murder innocent people, it's the world's greatest spy device!! Professor Zbloni has a legitimate grievance!!

Not that that justifies a murder spree, of course...and it quickly becomes a spree:

Well, that's enough to get Kid Eternity involved!

The sound of gunfire attracts Kid...and he finds:

So if Zbloni had the sound turned down, he would have gotten away with it!

Now, he is hunting the cause of mysterious murders, but Kid does kind of overboard, beating up an old man just because he has a "queer-looking" television:

I mean, sure, he's right, but he has no way of knowing that yet.

So how to understand the TV? Call in...

Thomas Edison!! This is Edison's second summons! But, honestly...he's not a ton of help:

Well, if even Edison can't figure it does the super-video-telepathizer work?!? How does it make people murder?

It requires Zbloni's powers of hypnosis!!


Adolf Hitler?!?!?!

First off, we should note that Kid was able to summon Hitler. Wouldn't he be in Stygia? Maybe Kid can summon people from Stygia, but doesn't realize that's what he's doing? Or maybe being under hypnosis loosened Kid's inhibitions about doing that?

Secondly, if I were Zbloni, I'm not sure Hitler would have been my first choice. Sure, he might be "the most evil man who ever lived." But how does he help you accomplish your goals? He brings no technical expertise; he probably wasn't much good in a fight; and he's a leader, not a follower. So, aside from establishing Godwin's Law, what's the point of calling him?

Kid eventually wakes up...

Turn on the radio?!? You're sitting right in front of the super-video-telepathizer, which can show you anything you want to see!! Pay attention, Kid!!

And what, exactly, is this "reign of terror"?

They're just walking around Washington D.C. Oooh, terror!

Well, they are headed for the Pentagon Heptagon!!

But how can Kid get in?

I would have said "just turn invisible and intangible and walk right in," but Kid is clearly still groggy from being hypnotized.

So, since the Heptagon is under complete lockdown, why not use...

...the completely unguarded and unlocked emergency exit!! Sigh...

Zbloni and Hitler manage to avoid thousands of armed military personnel...

...and make it to revenge time!

As sweet as it is to hear a villain say "he'll rue the day," Hitler has a point:

When you've invented a powerful tool for spying and assassination, why are you there in person, with just a pistol, seeking revenge in person, when you could kill him safely from afar and start, I don't know, taking over the world?


Kid shows up just then, and sends Hitler back where he belongs, and Zbloni is thwarted in his revenge!

But he manages to escape... the machine gun turret that's atop the Pentagon Heptagon:

But Kid has a plan!


Is it all's well that ends well?

Sure they've destroyed it Kid...sure they have. They assigned top men to the task--TOP. MEN.

This insane story was the 79th Kid Eternity story, and the standings are:

Abu 1
Achilles 4
Adam 1
Alden, John 1
Antony, Marc 2
Apollo 1
Aramis 2
Arnold, Benedict 1
Arthur, King 2
Astor, John Jacob 1
Athos 2
Atlas 3
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Baker, Lafayette 1
Barry's father 1
Barton, Clara 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 4
Blackhawk 1
Bloodhounds (Legree's) 1
Bluebeard 1
Bolivar, Simon 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bowie, Jim 1
Boyd, Belle 1
Brady, Diamond Jim 1
Brady, Matthew 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bridger, Jim 1
British Tank crew 1
Bucephalus 2
Bunyan, Paul 3
Byron, George Gordon 2
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Calhoun, John C. 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Capulet, Juliet 1
Carden, Foster 1
Carpenter, Daniel 1
Cave Man 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Christian, Fletcher 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cleopatra 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 2
Colt, Samuel 1
Columbus, Christopher 2
Corbett, Jim 3
Corcoran, Peter 1
Cortes, Hernan 1
Crillon 1
Crockett, Davy 1
Cronson, Gerald 1
Crusaders 1
Crusoe, Robinson 1
Custer, George Armstrong 2
D'artagnan 2
d'Aubigny. Julie 1
Daedalus 1
Dagger Dan 1
Davis, Richard Harding 1
de Bergerac, Cyrano 2
de Leon, Ponce 1
de Rais, Gilles 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Dracula 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Earhart, Amelia 1
Edison, Thomas 2
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 2
Fagin 1
Fairbanks, Douglas Sr. 1
Faraday, Michael 1
Fink, Mike 1
Frankenstein's Monster 1
Franklin, Ben 1
Galahad 1
Geronimo 2
Goliath 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Gothicus, Claudius 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Graymalkin 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Grimm, Joe 1
Gulliver, Lemuel 1
Hamilton, Alexander 1
Hatfield, John 1
Hathorne, John 1
Hauser, Kaspar 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 2
Hermann, Alexander 1
Hickathrift, Tom 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Hitler, Adolf 1
Hodges, Joe 1
Holmes, Sherlock 4
Hopkins, Matthew 1
Horatius Cocles 1
Houdini, Harry 3
Houston, Sam 1
Hyde, Edward 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Ikhnaton 1
Ismail, Yusuf 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
James, Jesse 1
Javert 2
Jeffries, Jim 1
Johnson, Martin 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Jove 2
Kamehameha 1
Khan, Genghis 2
Kidd, William 1
Lafayette Escradille 1
Lafayette, General 1
Lancelot 2
Larsen, Wolf 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Laveran, Charles 1
Leander 3
Lee, Robert E. 1
Legree, Simon 1
Leonidas 2
Light Brigade 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Lister, Joseph 2
Macbeth's Witches 1
Marable, Fate 1
Marshall, John 1
Masterson, Bat 1
McGrew, Dan 1
Mercury 5
Merlin 1
Mesmer, Franz 1
Milo Of Croton 2
Minutemen 1
Mix, Tom 1
Montague, Romeo 1
Montezuma 1
Morgan, Henry 1
Mounties 1
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Neanderthal 2
Nefertiti 1
Neptune 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobel, Alfred 2
Nobody 2
North Wind 1
Nostradamus 2
O'Brien, David 1
Oakley, Annie 1
Og 1
Orpheus 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pasteur, Louis 1
Penelope 1
Perseus 1
Pheidippides 2
Pied Piper 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Pocahontas 1
Poe, Edgar Allen 1
Porthos 4
Post, Wiley 1
Prometheus 1
Quixote, Don 2
Reilly, Sidney 1
Revere, Paul 1
Richard the LionHeart 2
Richtofen's Flying Circus 1
Rin-Tin-Tin 2
Robespierre, Maximilien 1
Robin Hood 3
Roc 1
Rogers' Rangers 2
Röntgen, Wilhelm 1
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Ryan, Paddy 1
Samson 3
Sandow, Eugen 1
Sayers, Tom 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Selous, Frederick 1
Serra, Junipero 1
Shakespeare, Willaim 1
Siegfried 1
Silver, Long John 2
Skunk, Jimmy 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Stanley, Henry 1
Steinmetz, Charles 2
Stogie 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Svengali 1
Tecumseh 1
Tell, William 1
Thalfi 1
Thor 3
Thumb, Tom 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tuck, Friar 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Uncas 1
Valjean, Jean 1
Vercingetorix 1
Villa, Pancho 1
Villon, Francois 1
von Helmholtz, Hermann 1
Vulcan 2
Washington, George 3
Watson, John H 1
Webster, Daniel 2
Whittington, Richard 1
Wright Brothers 1
Xanthippe 1
Zapata, Emiliano 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1
Zorro 1

NEXT--Be prepared!

From Kid Eternity #13 (1949)


George Chambers said...

Kid should have called Tesla instead of Edison, and that story would have been shorter.

George Chambers said...

… to clarify that, Tesla would have recognised the work of a fellow mad scientist and figured out what was needed to work it where the more pedestrian Edison failed.