Manic Monday Triple Overtime--And You Thought Sideshow Bob Was Bad!!

Some astronauts have just come back from a mission, and Namor had to rescue them. And they're none too happy about it!

And so...

Well, what kind of show will two famous ex-astronauts give America?

A kiddie show?!? A Krusty The Clown style kiddie show?!?

With a special sidekick that the kids are sure to love!

Xemnu proves to be a real hit...

And he full of comedy hijinks!

Ohh, Xemnu!!

Uh-oh!

Saturday mornings?!? I never saw an ad for The Astro-Nuts with Xemnu The Living Titan in those network Saturday morning line-up ads that filled our comic books!!

Nonetheless, Xemnu is a hit!

But after a month, the time comes for Sideshow Bob Xemnu to spring his trap:

Yeah, it's a Pied Piper scheme to steal Earth's children so he can rebuild the population of his own planet.

Don't worry, the Defenders stop him.

But how did the network ever replace that hit series?

Oh, those were the days...

From Marvel Feature #3 (1972)

Manic Monday Bonus--Great Moments In Amusement Park Design!

OK, let's get the immature giggles out of the way:

Yes, it's an amusement park named "Gayland."

But there's trouble at Gayland:

"Doom Over Gayland may be the best title for a story ever.

Anyway, it's a Scooby Doo plot, as a bunch of goons dressed as devils are trying to get the owners of Gayland to sell, because there's oil underneath it!!

And the bad guys are using sabotaged rides to kill people:

Green Arrow and Speedy have a job waiting for them in the garment industry...

Anyway, our heroes are captured (for the 28th time in this story). And the bad guys have quite the death trap ready:

When I design an amusement park, I'll make sure not to put the cannon next to the House Of Swords (with upright swords all over the roof), and I definitely won't put the House Of Swords next to the Crocodile Pen. But that's just me.

And so...

But what about the crocodile?!?

All right, I have to give Ollie props here: at least 17 arrows (and probably more) fired while hurtling in mid-air, all to imprison--but not hurt--the fake looking crocodile. That is indeed "eye-blurring speed"!

The Emerald Archer should just be grateful that Gayland hadn't installed the adjoining Quicksand Pit and Piranha Tank yet...

From More Fun Comics #77 (1942)

Manic Monday--The Best Skin-Diving Equipment Shop!!

Where does Aquaman get all those wonderful toys?

The wicked Professor Snark (yes, really) is constantly trying to pull off sea-based crimes, but is always being thwarted by Aquaman and his ability to command fish:

Uh-oh, a plan!

So when Aquaman encounters Snark and a massive sea platform...

Oddly enough, Aquaman has never heard of desalination before!

Arthur is right, because when the next sea crime arrives...

I'll spare you the many, MANY panels of sick fish, and summarize thusly:

Well, duh.

But prove it was deliberate!!

Well, how can Aquaman solve this dilemma?

You see, he knows a guy...and so, at the next sea-crime:

But...

Huh?

Take a closer look:

How...?

So, a "skin-diving equipment maker" was able to convert tanks that pump pressurized air into tanks that pump sea water, into gills instead of mouths. And most amazingly, in many different sizes...

...and many different species...

...and big ass whales:

Wait!! WHALES DON'T HAVE GILLS!!

I won't ask how Aquaman afforded all of this--the sea is full of riches, and the equipment guy might have done it pro bono, to help stop sea crime.

Still, that's one hell of a job of making a lot of equipment do the opposite of what it was designed to do--in oddball shapes and sizes--by our skin-diving equipment-maker.

Let's just hope sharks never get ahold of this technology...

From Adventure Comics #284 (1961), as reprinted in The Brave And The Bold #114 (1974)

The Sign Of The Four!

So, did I miss anything while I was gone?

You mean after 3 years of relentless agitation which bore no fruit, I take one weekend off, and that's when Marvel decides the Fantastic Four Fatwa is over?

Maybe if I take next weekend off, DC will bring back the Legion? Nah, they seem content letting Geoff Johns give us one panel per year of Saturn Girl in Arkham--seriously, it's been two years now since Rebirth #1, guys. It's gone from teaser to never-resolved cliche.

Anyway, as you can guess, I'm ecstatic. The Fantastic Four was what brought me into comics on a full-time basis. They're the First Family of the Marvel Universe, and things just haven't been the same without them.

Personally, I would have given the book to Chip Zdarsky, who is knocking it out of the park on Marvel Two-In-One. But Dan Slott is a good choice. Sure, he overstayed his welcome--and at the end was really spinning his wheels--on Amazing Spider-Man; but overall he did a fine job of stabilizing that franchise after a bit of corporate malfeasance, so he's well-suited to do the same with the Fantastic Four. Plus Slott wrote the late, lamented but wonderful Thing series back in 2006 (that long ago? Really?), and had some great interaction between Spidey & the FF in Amazing.

I'm not terribly familiar with Sara Pichelli's work, but from what I've seen, she'll be fine.

In celebration, allow me to present Johnny Storm singing his R&B hit, "Flame On!" No, I'm not making that up.


August can't come fast enough...