Friday Night Fights--Dispersing Into The Ocean Style!!

A long 'un but a good 'un tonight, kiddies.

Spacebooger has declared that this week's Prize Fight for Friday Night Fights must feature "a fight where the loser gives up before getting beaten too badly," a la Roberto Duran.

Well, I've got your "no más" for you.

Crusher Creel, just recovered from his last bout with the Hulk, has decided he's had it with America. He's going to take a boat to South America, where "they don't have no super-heroes" and he can be "the biggest sonovagun without getting stomped all the time."

But along the way, he robs a store, kidnaps a clerk, busts up a restaurant, and attracts the attention of the Avengers. So... 

 Oops.

Iron Man joins the fray, but...

 KRUNG!!!

Geez, tough day, Creel.

No más, indeed.

Spacebooger wants to know why we've never had the Absorbing Man/Super-Adaptoid story that America has been demanding...

Crusher Creel gets crushed in Avengers #184 (1979), by David Michelinie, John Byrne, and inked by "D. Hands" (Marvel's code-name for "diverse hands," with contributing inkers probably including Joe Rubinstein, Terry Austin, Al Gordon, Klaus Janson, and others....)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Money is on the line, and papa needs a brand new pair of shoes. So go and VOTE!!

Tales From The Quarter Bin--For Your Protection!

Found in the Quarter Bin yesterday:

Oh, the memories.

This is how the book appeared on the shelf when new, back in 1995: a white wrap-around prophylactic cover, warning us how potentially dangerous the real cover is.

Of course, there is absolutely nothing on the cover to indicate what comic it is, or even what company published it (the back cover is pure white). So this little sales gimmick meant you had to pick the book up of the shelf, and look inside at the "graphic" cover to even know what you might be passing up. To that extent, effective gimmick, I guess.

And inside, the real cover?

Oh, sweet and naive 1995. "Graphic nature"??? This would be just another panel in a 21st century Geoff Johns comic. And these days, we don't even get the benefit of a special cover warning us of gratuitously severed limbs.

Still, Paul Gulacy drew the hell out of that detached arm, right?

SPOILER ALERT: Gilad had the arm reattached. All better...

Interlude

From Incredible Hulk #139 (1971), by Roy Thomas, Herb Trimpe and Sam Grainger

The Best Cover You've Never Seen, Digital Edition--Anti-Hero #7!

The interior credits are art by Nate Stockman and colors by Paul Little. I can't find any separate listing for the "cover" credits, so let's just assume that it applies (or until GCD decides to start doing entries for digital comics--HINT, HINT).

The Best Cover You've Never Seen--Journey Into Mystery #1 (1952)

Cover by Russ Heath.

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Beware Of Talking Werebears!

Warning to all visitors to Jellystone Park: talking bears are dangerous, not cute!

We start with a dangerously specific lecture:

Speaking of anthropology, college kids are creeps, picking on poor Don because he's ugly:

But then they decide it would hilarious to go all Carrie on him, in a scene Stephen King stole and made more bloody:

Well, that's not going to end well in a horror comic, is it?

Of course, carnage results:

But Don is not just a werebear (bearwolf?)--nope, he's a talking bestial killer!

And now you know the true origin of Yogi Bear.

Please don't ask about Boo-Boo...

from Unseen #12 (1953)

Manic Monday Bonus--This Isn't What Kenny Loggins Meant By Danger Zone!

It's 1962, and the Stone Men Of Saturn are invading!

Not to worry, though--crack NATO fighter pilots are on the job!

Wait, what?

"Bail out"? "Hit the silk"?!?

Maverick, Iceman and Goose are hanging their heads in shame. What are these guys going to do against a real menace if they can't handle the Stone Men?

Let's just say that none of these pilots are going to make it with Kelly McGillis...

From Journey Into Mystery #83 (1962)

Manic Monday--Wither Central City

How nice to find another clue in my ridiculous fascination with DC Geography.

And this time goes far beyond a mere clue.

Central City/Keystone City has always been a bit problematical.

Pre-Crisis, they were in the same place, just different Earths. And DC more or less committed to it being in Ohio--a Flash story said it was in the same place as Akron, and an Ask The Answer Man also said Ohio. That's as canonical as you could get, in those days.

Post-Crisis, of course, both cities had to exist on the same Earth, and DC made them "twin" cities, connected by a bridge across a river. The exact location, though, was never really nailed down. It seemed to float around, from Florida (!), Missouri, Kansas, Illinois...there was no firm answer.

(If you ask me, it always felt like Kansas City/Kansas City to me...but what do I know?)

But we haven't had a clue in the nu52. Until now.

In last week's Flash #28, we get a flashback to the founding of Keystone City:

Now, even allowing for approximations and somewhat different geography in the nuDC Universe, that pretty much nails it as Kansas (with Nebraska and Oklahoma still being possible--but Oklahoma sure doesn't feel right, you know?).

So Smallville and Central City and Keystone City are in Kansas? There's stories there, people...

Jane Foster's One-Track Mind

The very first time Jane Foster has seen Thor, after he performed amazing feats of heroics:

Oh, Jane...

And at the end of the adventure, after Thor has crushed the enemy and rescued everyone:

Oh, Jane...

And the very next issue, when Thor (and Jane) meet Loki for the very first time:

Well, at least she's consistent....

From Journey Into Mystery #84 & 85 (1962)

Best Covers You've Probably Taken For Granted

FACT: 1971 was an awesome year for Incredible Hulk covers:

Herb Trimpe could bring it, is all I'm sayin'...