What happens if you cross
Santa Claus Conquers The Martians with
Take Me Out To The Ballgame, and throw in a dash of
Star Trek's Miri? You get this week's
Friday Night Fights!!
Because what could be more summer than...
...especially since it's:
What...?!?!
WHIZ's violation of child labor laws extends to their sports coverage, as...
So
Billy is off to the dangerous wilderness...of
Brooklyn!!
He needs help to find the right train...
...as do some charming orphans!
Oh, geez, Billy, what the heck is it with you and
subways, anyway?
Once they reach
Mars, we find out why they're kidnapping children:
Of course, Billy takes
The Man's position!!
But then--an attack!!
Well, one thing leads to another, and Billy is captured by the
STQSTAS!!
And we learn the truth about Martian society!
And of course, square Billy sides with THE MAN (
again!).
The STQSTAS use catapults to launch submission gas grenades into the
FZZPHZ city!! (I never thought I would be typing that sentence!)
Fortunately, good old American kids know how to deal with that!
Somehow, the grenades are all sent flying back at the STQSTAS! How??
And so the
worlds' Mars' first baseball battle is ON!!
And despite thousands of years of history, Earth morality is imposed on Martian culture:
The End!! (The kids choose to stay behind and put together a proper Martian baseball team come back to Earth in 1950 and "
beat both the Dodgers and the Giants." That's almost certainly why the left New York...)
Spacebooger notes that with all of the bondage, gagging, submission gas and spankings, this is pretty much an early
Wonder Woman comic!
Mars learns America's pastime in America's Greatest Comics #8 (1943), scripter unknown, art by C. C. Beck
Now is the time for you to
go and vote for my fight. Why? Peanuts and crackerjack, man.
So go and vote!!
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