Sunday, December 4, 2016

Because Spelunking Is A Perfectly Acceptable First Date!!

Romance comics have taught me a very important lesson:

It's a woman's job to adapt herself to a man's needs, not vice versa!

For example...

Yes, if a man gropes you without permission, it's 100% because you didn't develop a completely individualized script for your interactions with him, even if you've never been out with him before!! And you should know how he's going to take every single line that you utter!! You'd better have flowcharts for alternate conversational paths ready!!

Also, you should dress how the man likes to you to--a man will never change his dress for you!! AND YOU MUST KNOW THIS IN ADVANCE!!

Honey, you're better off without conservative Clyde...then again, "sporty" Stuart wears a tie while out for a walk...?

But we cannot stress enough--if you use the same sentence with more than one man...

He will go off to have a three-way with the trashy campus blonde!!

But perhaps our most important lesson?

If a guy invites you to go spelunking, YOU WILL DAMN WELL GO SPELUNKING...unless you want to be an old maid!!

So remember, ladies...

If you adapt yourself chameleon-like to your man, he might realize that he loves you for what you pretend to be!!

From Lovelorn #10 (1951)


SallyP said...

They wouldn't need to do all this if they only had Tootsie Rolls.

Warren JB said...

I had to go to a podiatrist, my toes curled so hard.