Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Say, You'd Think They Would Find Room For This Character

You know who I miss?

I miss Johnny Thunder!!

And sure, if you prefer Jakeem Thunder, I miss him too.

These controllers of the mystic Thunderbolt have been MIA since Flushpoint. And it's a sad, sad multiverse that has no room for Johnny Thunder.

See, there's something inherently amusing about a guy who literally has ultimate power, but is too big a goof to understand how to use it!!

It's time for the first--the very first--meeting of the Justice Society Of America. But guess who wasn't invited??

Remember the tortured grammatical and rhetorical loops they'd go through to get Johnny to accidentally say "Cei-U"?!? And he'd have to do it accidentally, because...

That's right--initially, he didn't know the magic phrase that activated the Thunderbolt, so he never knew when suddenly his wishes were going to start coming true!! That is simultaneously both stupid and brilliant!

(In my 2015 reboot, Johnny activates his Thunderbolt by sending a certain emoji--but he doesn't know which one!!! So when he has to leap into action immediately, he just starts texting random combinations of symbols to everyone in his contact list as fast as he can...Sigh...this is why I'm not allowed to write comics.,)

Anyway, Johnny's wish to be at the meeting is granted...

Now the thing was, Johnny was powerful enough to crush the whole JSA...but was too big a dope to ever control his powers. For example, once he gets to the meeting, he greets Dr. Fate and Sandman. But when the Flash arrives...


And when Hawkman shows up, Johnny gets impatient for the rest of the heroes to show up, and... just flat out controlled the Spectre.

But it turns out that Johnny is just as much a danger to himself as others:

Double d'oh!!


But when you're with Johnny Thunder, a good dinner is just a wish away:


Of course, the nu52 is far too dour and self-serious for a hero like Johnny Thunder. And they'd probably do stories where Johnny's wishes caused chaos, civilizations to collapse, and accidentally killed millions, and he is reviled by the public while the military tries to capture him as the ultimate weapon. You know that would totally happen .

But I still miss the all-powerful-but-pretty-dopey guy. Let's hope someone is allowed to revive him properly soon.

From All-Star Comics #3 (1940)


Siskoid said...

I like Johnny, and I think the Thunderbolt is a great design.

These are, by and large, unpopular opinions.

SallyP said...

I miss that entire bunch of awesome old farts.