Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Tales From The Quarter Bin--Archie's Clone Wars

If you were Archie Comics, and you wanted to expand your comic empire, what do you do?


Hahahahaha, of course not. You just clone yourself!

How's my arithmetic? Let's see--Teenager in bow-tie, letter sweater, torn between two women, a pal and a wise-guy rival... use many of the same artists and same gags...shake well...instant clone!!

Of course, the truth is more complicated. In a twist worthy of Maximum Clonage, I must reveal--Wilbur actually debuted 3 months BEFORE Archie!! He was rocking the bow-tie/letter sweater/girl chasing teenager thing first!! His comic was published for over 20 years--yet you've never heard of him!! Archie was the clone!! Archie was the Ben Reilley to Wilbur's Peter Parker!!

So why did Archie win, when both comics were essentially exactly the same? (And trust me--if you've read any Wilbur stories--they're exactly the same) Why did the company become Archie Comics and not Wilbur Comics? Why was it the Archies and not the Wilburs serenading us with bubblegum pop? Why Betty and Veronica instead of Linda and Laurie?

Who can say...alphabetical order? Archie Andrews is a better name than Wilbur Wilkins? Is it because Archie was a red-head?

One of comics' great unsolved mysteries...

Ad from Suzie #97 (1954)


Thomas said...

You're missing the more important question. If Archie didn't debut until 3 months after Wilbur, then why was the company already called Archie Comics? This conspiracy runs deep.

Martin Gray said...


What's going on! I bet somewhere,deep in Riverdale continuity, they brought Wilbur in for a visit. Get on it!

Martin Gray said...

Ha, they knew what they were doing with this cover!