Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Skeeviest Brother Voodoo Story Ever

Look, I'm going to give you fair warning. Something in this post is going to make you go "EEEEEWWWWWWW" worse than you've ever gone "EEEEEEWWWWW" in your life. Seriously.

So if you don't want to get seriously sickened, don't read this post. I'll understand.

Still here? OK, you'll get two more warnings before the big gross-out.

Down in Haiti, Brother Voodoo has just rescued some folks in a rowboat during a storm. On the beach, his hot doctor girlfriend aids and comforts him:


Wow, that's nice...she loved him so much she decided to stay with him rather than follow her dreams.

Jericho Drumm, however, seems to be a bit tetchy:



OK, here's another warning: bail out now if you ever want to like this character again...



Final warning--if you keep reading, there's not enough soap in all the world to wash the vision of this scene out of your eyeballs...




EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

So, rather than trust her in a long-distance relationship, Jericho used his dead brother's ghost to possess her, and change her mind so she'd stay.

And Daniel's loa was inside her, as Jericho reveals later, for "several months."

EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

And while we don't see anymore of their...ahem...physical relationship than I've shown you here, we do get some pretty tight hugging, and a love as great as she professed must have involved a smooch or too....

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

And to make sure that we're completely clear on the concept here:

So Brother Voodoo was macking on a chick who had his dead brother's ghost inside her????? And in fact, dead ghost brother was compelling her actions?? So, effectively, he was playing tonsil hockey with his own dead brother????

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

And, of course, using your voodoo powers to make a chick give up her career goals (one of which was curing AIDS!!) just show she'll stick around and love you pretty much is a complete and utter fail on the great power/great responsibility scale. I mean, we're getting near Doctor Light territory for skeeviness and for totally destroying a character.

Oh, sure, he felt guilty, and he let her go. And she forgives him, and hopes that someday he can forgive himself. Seriously, she said that!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

Now, this was a story buried deep in Marvel Super-Heroes #1 (1990), an anthology/clean out our backfiles title, so probably only 10 people read it. But still, Scott Lobdell, Fred Hembeck (yes, THAT Fred Hembeck) and Dell Barras--what the hell were you thinking???

EWEEEWWWWWWWWWWWEWEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

3 comments:

Scott said...

Eh. Still better than Bendis.

Lazarus Lupin said...

Yeah I'll give it a 9 on the ewww scale.

Lazarus Lupin
http://strangespanner.blogspot.com/
art and review

The Mutt said...

Eeeewww means super fab.