"It's The Same Old Story!" Or, Never Trust Your Local Doctor!

I would be a terrible criminal. It's too much work!!

Take, for example, this guy's scheme...

We begin with the funeral of Mr. Clem...

Sad stuff. And now Mom is feeling poorly!

Well, Bobby's not having any of it!

OK, Bobby is a kid, and reacting emotionally. We can forgive him, can't we?

We all die eventually, Bobby...

But young Bobby takes his distrust for Dr. Diale to harsh extremes!

ZOWIE!!!

Well, that's enough to get Bobby Clem sent to reform school. Fortunately, he meets Lash Lightning and Lightning Girl there, and they agree to pretend to be house guests of Mrs. Clem, to keep an eye on her health.

Yes, his name is Lash Lightning.

Anyway, the doctor shows up again, and is very polite...

...polite, that is--FOR A VILE VILLAIN!!!

Well, why would he want to do that?!?

OK, why, then, would he want to fake her death?

Let's watch this "funeral":

But...

OK, so what the hell is going on?!?

Lash discover that Dr. Diale is actually Dr. Diablo, and in deep underground caverns...

What?!?

Yup, he's faking his patients' death, and reviving them as slaves in an underground mine.

Why?

Oh, yes, that same old story.

You know, this guy's plot makes the average Scooby Doo plan--convince the town it's haunted so no one can disturb the mine--look rational and likely to work.

Remember, he's the only doctor in this town. But he's got to fake the deaths of enough patients to work his radium mine--yet not so many deaths that anyone would get suspicious (except gun-toting 10 year olds) or yank his licence. Then he's got to sell his radium to someone--but if he doesn't want the government to know about his mine, he can't sell it to them. So what--he's going to sell radium to the Nazis?!?

Too. Much. Work. You're a doctor, Diablo--just pad your bills, take kickbacks from Big Pharma, and live like a king!!

Or...since the town was built over a radium mine, just wait for everyone to die of radiation poisoning, and then no one will know about your mine!

Damn...maybe I would make a good villain...

From Four Favorites #8 (1942)