Thursday, June 8, 2017

Earth's Greatest Protector--Kid Eternity?!?

So, the Earth is about to be invaded by alien dickweeds.

But you're on a world with no Superman, no Marvel family, no Fantastic Four. So who are you gonna call?

Don't worry... Kid Eternity has got this!

But seriously, some nasty aliens have opened a "hole in the sky," and have sent an expeditionary force through to test Earth's defenses.



These are not nice aliens, as they murder the entire village.

It's at this point that Kid Eternity shows up. And boy, is he peeved!


And now, the 300 sequel that we really wanted: Spartans versus aliens!!




Routed by Zack Snyder-style violence, the aliens flee back through their hole in the sky. The Kid follows, and brings some friends along!

And it turns out that Musketeers are just as good at trashing alien armies as Spartans!

Geez, maybe someone could make us a Spartans vs Musketeers movie? Please?

Anyway, be it's time for Kid E to call in the big guns:


Because all British tank crews say "Tally-ho!"

And you must admit--there's nothing quite as satisfying as watching tanks squish dickweed aliens!!



Of course, the aliens​ make the classic mistake of assuming that everyone on Earth is as rad as Kid Eternity, so the survivors call off the attack...


Wait... They attacked that village specifically as as test is human defenses--and no one there had such powers!! So why are they assuming that all humans can summon dead armies?!?

Still, the world can sleep soundly, for if we're ever attacked by aliens who are easily frightened by spears and swords (and easily squished by tanks), Kid Eternity has got or back!

From Kid Eternity #10 (1948)

1 comment:

Paul Smith said...

I was kind of hoping it was the tank itself that said Tally Ho!