Thursday, October 29, 2015

The Trial Of Lois Lane Part XI--Batman Is The Worst Damned Defense Attorney Ever!!

It's time to begin the trial of the century!!

Lois Lane is on trial for murdering Lana Lang!!

Batman is the defense attorney!!

Superman is the prosecuting attorney!!

Well, Superman does a good job of using his first few witnesses to establish motive, means and opportunity:

So how does the Caped Crusader handle cross-examination?

OK, a fair, albeit quite minor point.

But the rest of the cross-examinations?




Batman is the worst goddamned defense attorney ever. Seriously, Lois would have been better off with a Gotham public defender.

Obviously, not only does Batman not shake anyone's story, or damage their credibility, he ends up getting them to actually strengthen their testimony!! The "never ask a question you don't already know the answer to" thing is kind of a cliche, but man, Bats really shows why it's true.

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, why is he trying to shake these witnesses at all? Lois already admitted that she was there. She doesn't need an alibi, or reasonable doubt that she was in a crash. Her defense is that it was an accident, not premeditated murder!

And even if he gets one of the witnesses to demure to, "Oh, I'm only 80% sure it was Lois," how does that help when Lois takes the stand herself. Is she going to suddenly deny being there? Is she going to perjure herself?!?!

Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm applying actual legal thinking to a 1970 DC comic book. But this isn't the last example where we see that Batman is the worst defense attorney ever.

From Lois Lane #100 (1970)

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