Movie Stars Are Jerks!!

Poor Joan is typecast as the gal who stars in Westerns...

Va va VOOM!

Really, Dick? That's a pretty crappy contract. But, it's off to dinner:

Ah, but...

D'oh!! (And Va va VOOM!)

Oooooh, cold, Joan.

Ha ha, a woman being president! What a silly notion!

I've said it before, I'll say it again: Va va VOOM!!

Of course, you know how it turns out. There's no real romance, and the lives of  "dramatic" movie stars are all just fake publicity and lies:

And when they go to a children's hospital to entertain the poor little tykes:

 Class act, Walter. Class act.

So, the moral of our story is: People who make "real" movies are tacky, hypocritical losers who will leave sick children to die in a fire. B-movie stars are the real heroes of America! Aim low, future starlets of America--AIM LOW!!!

Oh, and once more with feeling:

 VA VA VOOM!!!

From Hollywood Secrets #2 (1950), as reprinted in Hollywood Secrets Of Romance #9 (1958)