Sunday, January 4, 2015

The Real Reason Germany Lost WWII--Stupidly Designed Giant Robots!!

Davy is always getting picked on by the guys in his unit, because he's kind of a runt:

But their Sarge reminds them of another time a runt made good:

Well, Davy is on point as they move out...when:

Holy Hannah, a giant Nazi robot!!

Of course, this is all Hitler's master plan!!

Hmm, maybe naming him Goliath was a bad idea, dude.

But whatever his name, giant Nazi robot soldier is tough!! Planes can't stop him!

Mortar fire can't stop him!

Minefields can't stop him!!

Even the clever ploy of riding a windmill so you can put a bazooka in his face...doesn't stop him!

Sadly, this last gambit kills the Sarge, who has some parting advice for Davy:

Hey. let's try drowning it!!

Well, that worked swell!! End of giant Nazi robot menace!


Well, I guess Hitler wins WWII now...

No, Davy, there is no physical law of the universe demanding that everything have a "weak spot." That's not the way things work.

Why not just accept that the Nazis have built an unstoppable death machine, and start learning German?

Yes, that will work...

Wait--that DID work? Seriously?

Down goes Goliath! Down goes Goliath!!!

Bonus: this made Hitler very sad!

Maybe, Adolf, just maybe, you should have designed a robot without a weak spot. Maybe you shouldn't have put the most crucial component in the least protected area. Or sprung for the dough to put heavier shielding on the feet.

So much for German engineering...

From Weird War Tales #6 (1972)

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