The Best Cover You've Never Seen--Lars Of Mars #11!!

The covers of Lars of Mars #11 (1951) was painted by Allen Anderson. To learn more about the amazing Lars Of Mars, check this out.

It IS A Small World, After All!

Past episodes of the Simpsons have come under fire for making fun of different locales, such as New Orleans and Brazil, with the tourist board of Rio de Janeiro going so far as to threaten to sue Fox for "damaging the city's image."

With that in mind, Marvel and Disney might want to have the lawyers on standby.

Because in yesterday's New Warriors #1, after the Scarlet Spider saves some American tourists from muggers in Mazatlan...

Oh, dear.

The Mexican Tourist Board is not going to be pleased with this...

Bold Fashion Choices--Damien Vs. The nu52

In last week's Batman Li'l Gotham #11, Damien is having some hallucinations while traveling in the desert:

And later, when they hook up with Azrael...

Man...calling out Jim Lee's designs like that?!? No wonder the book has been cancelled...

Stan Lee Invents The Internet

Tired of boring, non-interactive communications with the House Of Ideas?

Well, Stan has the cure for you:

You heard The Man--clip it out and send it in!

From Silver Surfer #16 (1970)

DC Science, Marvel Style!!

I've given DC a fair amount of ribbing for the silliness of some of their Silver Age "science."

But let's face it--Marvel wasn't immune from that particular problem.

Still, when 1960s Marvel rolled out the gobbledygook, they didn't just lay it out in 6 panels of exposition on the last page of the story that brought everything to a grinding halt. Nah, Marvel just rolled with, made the explanation part of the action, and publicly laughed at themselves while doing it.

Case in point: Forgettable villain The Exterminator has trapped Daredevil in some kind of "time continuum" thingie. Let's watch:

We'll skip those "dramatic new events," and...

Thanks for the disclaimer, Stan...

Woo hoo!!

Seriously, if this had been in Action Comics, Superman would have spent 5 of the last 6 panels of the story explaining to Lois or Jimmy how he did something scientifically impossible.

Sadly, we don't have a colorist credit for this issue, and obviously that went a long way towards selling the sequence. So props to Gene Colan and John Tartaglione, and a big shout-out to Colorist Unknown. And to Stan for just relaxing and having fun with it.

From Daredevil #41 (1968)

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Dog Days For The Silver Surfer!!

You all know I hate the Inhumans, and generally despise the Silver Surfer.

So when Inhuman arrogance, the Surfer's superiority complex, and Black Bolt's inability to just write down his damned orders (and a noodge from Maximus The Mad) lead to a pitched battle between the residents of Atillan and the Sentinel Of The Spaceways, well, you know I'm hoping they'll both die in smoldering craters of hubris.

No such luck. But fortunately, we do find the one character who can stymie the Surfer:

How?

Who? WHO?!?!

Hahahahahaha, Norrin Radd has been bested by a dog!!!

Man, I hope Dan Slott remembers this, and has Lockjaw come looking for revenge in the new Silver Surfer series!

From Silver Surfer #18 (1970)

Manic Monday Bonus--New Zoo Review!!

Superboy has promised to update and repair the playground at the Springfield Orphanage...but he just shows up with a big pile of sand? What gives?!?

Hoops squirrels??? HOOP SQUIRRELS?!?

Ah, the Silver Age, when you didn't have to worry about invasive species, or xeno-germs, or alien creatures reacting badly to a new environment, or how to actually feed interstellar species, or...

At least Superboy won't have to kill one and feed it to the space lions, right?

From Superboy #137 (1967)

Manic Monday--Amazing Prophecies From 1951!!

Hey, it's a space-filling feature page from Lars Of Mars #12 (1951):

Let's check on the accuracy of these prophecies from 63 years ago!

I don't think they know what some of these words actually mean.

Grade: FAIL!

Hmmmm...no. Although 2020 is coming, and by then we'll have a Sealab...

Grade: FAIL!

Nope.

Unless, of course, I forgot to take my brain pills this morning, and so have forgotten this important bit of scientific progress.

Grade: FAIL!!

Rocket trains traveling over 1000 miles per hour? Undoubtedly cool, but either the "army authorities" never shared this technology, or it proved unfeasible, or it was hogwash. The fastest feasible speed for Japanese bullet trains is currently only 200mph (not 300 mph, The Wolverine Movie!!). Meanwhile, we in the U.S. are stuck with Amtrak.

Grade: FAIL!!

Hey, they finally got one!! Granted, solar hasn't "revolutionized all power sources now in use," but a non-trivial amount of our electricity and heating comes from solar, and that seems likely to grow higher in the not-too-distant future.

Grade: B!!

Well, 1 out of 5 ain't good in the prophecy department. I wouldn't use the guys to pick stocks or football games, is what I'm saying.

One more chance--let's check out a panel from a story later in the issue:

Ah, yes, using the moon to rain nuclear devastation upon our enemies!! No wonder President Bush wanted moon colonies!!

Golden Age Idol--Lars Of Mars!!

We 21st century fools with our social media and our snarky irony like to think that we invented meta.

Ha!!

Our forefathers could get so meta it would make Grant Morrison's head explode!!

Case in point:

Lars Of Mars? Who dat, you say?

Let start with a great scientific advance on Earth:

This freaks the Martians out, because they once almost destroyed themselves in a nuclear war with Venus!

So the leaders summon their top agent, Lars, with a special mission!

Upon arriving on Earth, the first thing Lars sees is:

Well, all is not as it appears...

Wait a minute...

Wait...so Lars is a Martian who is pretending to be a human  pretending to be a Martian, while starring in a TV show named after himself, and fighting crime on the side?? Oh, my aching head!

This is akin to watching Flash Gordon and finding out the actor really is Flash Gordon, except he's just an actor pretending to actually be Flash Gordon for publicity, except that's just a ruse because he actually IS Flash Gordon, and...oy, my brain!!

Oh, and did I mention the Martian Victory Yell?

Lars only appeared in the two issues of his comic, #10 & #11, in 1951. [Yes, the only two issue of Lars Of Mars were #10 & #11. Next time one one you kids complains about Marvel's numbering, you're going to get a stern "you don't know how good you have it" lecture regarding comic numbering in the 1950s...]

Lars was apparently created by Jerry Siegel (GCD credits all of his stories as authored by "Jerry Siegel?") and Murphy Anderson, which by itself is more than enough reason to revive him in the present day.

And holy crap--a series about the lead actor of an action series who pretends to actually be the lead character, but in fact really is that character and is just pretending to be the actor, all the while saving Earth from destroying itself?!? That screams 2014, baby!!

So someone jump on this, please!! DC, Dynamite, BOOM!, what are you waiting for?? And don't forget my finder's fee...