Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Golden Age Idol--Dame Kackle?!?

I have to confess, I've been a bit remiss.

Through the many, many Golden Age Idol entries, I've focused entirely on the heroes.

But there are some Golden Age villains who need to be brought back, too.

For example:

No, not The Defender. He was just your typical low-rent "guy who puts on a costume and slugs Nazis and crooks". Nothing at all remarkable about him, and he only lasted 5 issues (I will say, though, that that is a pretty bitchin' logo. And it's hard to believe that Marvel controls a character named The Defender and never brought him back to, say, lead the Defenders.)

No, we're here to look at the Defender's very first foe, from USA Comics #1 (1941). Who might that be?

OK, I know what you're thinking...WTF?

Fair enough. Dame Kackle may seem just like a gnarly old female pirate with a poorly-drawn cat o' nine-tails.

But the story quite clearly tells us that she is "the deadliest agent of the dreaded Nazi Gestapo!" And she's using her great pirate abilities to smuggle Japanese spies into the U.S.!!

And she's pretty menacing to intrepid girl reporter Sally Kean!

Ah, but the Defender and Rusty (his boy sidekick) manage to defeat her. Yet...

Hmmm...escaped, or drowned? C'mon...she's a pirate! Of course she can swim!! Of course she survived. And she's probably one of those Pirates Of The Caribbean-type immortal pirates, so of course she's still around, right?!?

So what's not to love? An immortal female Nazi pirate with a mean whip who cackles every time she speaks? That's gold, man. Especially if Disney decides to give us a Captain Jack Sparrow series, but set in modern day, and he's got to go around collecting immortal pirate treasures to save the world, but Dame Kackle wants them for herself, and...

Look, a boy can dream, can't he?

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