Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--Kid Eternity And The Land of The Lost!!

We begin with a seemingly demented old guy, raving in front of a Wright Brothers memorial:

So of course Kid decides to get involved...

Pay no attention to that newspaper being sold in the background. It contains no foreshadowing whatsoever...

So anyway, the series all about historical characters is now pushing that history as we know it is kind of wrong:

Now, Adam Wing immediately goes super-villain:

You would think this would mean there would be ample eyewitnesses, right? And that in the four years until the Wright Brothers flight, word would get around.

But it's not to be, because according to the laws of comic book karma, Adam is immediately punished for tormenting his being lost for twenty years!

And not just normal lost...

Land Of The Lost lost!!

Yup, we've got the Wright Brothers not making the first flight, and towering mesas filled with dinosaurs. To heck with actual history!

Ah, what the hell, if Arthur Conan Doyle and Edgar Rice Burroughs can get away with the "hidden land filled with big-ass reptiles," than Kid Eternity is entitled to have some prehistoric fun too, right?!?

Hey, there's that damned newspaper again...maybe it does mean something after all!!

Anyway, the Kid and Keeper go to investigate this mesa, to see if they can prove Adam's story.

Kid even has a theory on how the mesa could be a home for dinosaurs:

But Keeper is skeptical...

But they find something besides dinosaurs!

Damn! I guess that newspaper was foreshadowing, after all!!

The survivors fire on Kid, and dammit, he wants to know why!!

Cave men. And dinosaurs.

Forget it snell, it's Comicstown.

Now, we're 7 pages into this story, and Kid hasn't done a single summoning yet! Hold onto your hats, because things get crazy from here on !

How do you fight cave men?


Look, I saw I, Claudius, and this doesn't seem accurate at all?

Oh, wait, this is Claudius II, a.k.a. Claudius Gothicus. You gotta love the giant "C" on his chest...

He drives away the cave men, but inside the wrecked plane:

Jospeh Lister!! And...

Clara Barton!!

But outside the plane--dinosaur attack!!

Atlas!! Congratulations--this is your third appearance, putting you into a 4-way tie for the lead (temporarily...oops, SPOILER ALERT!!)!

Sadly, Atlas vs. Dinosaur isn't nearly as exciting as you would think:

So whom do you turn to?

Og. Og the cave man. Known for killing dinosaurs.

Man, this story is going to kill me.

So, now you have to get the survivors off the mesa. How?

Jove--the king of the gods--can't fly through a strong wind?!?! Are you kidding me?!?!?

Well, eventually, Kid realizes that Adam made it off the mesa somehow, so he goes back to grab him, and along the way picks up...

Mercury--congratulations, this is your 4th summons!! You're now in the lead!!

Adam reveals how he got off the mesa...

..and Kid calls help carry the wounded down:

Hercules!! This is, surprisingly, only the second time Kid has called upon Herc.

And so...

So, wait, Adam somehow survived the dinosaurs and cave men for 20 years, with no weapons? We're OK that, despite there supposedly being dozens of eyewitnesses to his flight, no one questioned the Wright Brothers' enshrinement? Despite spending decades as an crazy old man muttering about lack of recognition, Adam is suddenly just fine going without acclaim, because he's "too old" for fame now?!?!?!

This story, man...this story...

We're 33 stories in, and nowhere near the finish line. Here's our standings:

Mercury 4
Achilles 3
Atlas 3
Corbett, Jim 3
Arthur, King 2
Bunyan, Paul 2
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 2
D'artagnan 2
Ericson, Leif 2
Hercules 2
Holmes, Sherlock 2
Houdini 2
Leander 2
Porthos 2
Robin Hood 2
Samson 2
Sullivan, John L. 2
Washington, George 2
Abu 1
Antony, Marc 1
Aramis 1
Arnold, Benedict 1
Athos 1
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Baker, Lafayette 1
Barry's father 1
Barton, Clara 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Bluebeard 1
Bolivar, Simon 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bucephalus 1
Byron, George Gordon 1
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Carden, Foster 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Colt, Samuel 1
Columbus 1
Cronson, Gerald 1
Crusoe, Robinson 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Dracula 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Frankenstein's Monster 1
Galahad 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Gothicus, Claudius 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Hatfield, John 1
Hauser, Kaspar 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Hyde, Edward 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
Javert 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Jove 1
Khan, Genghis 1
Kidd, William 1
Lafayette, General 1
Lancelot 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Lee, Robert E. 1
Leonidas 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Lister, Joseph 1
Marable, Fate 1
Milo Of Croton 1
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobody 1
Nostradamus 1
O'Brien, David 1
Og 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Penelope 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Prometheus 1
Quixote, Don 1
Revere, Paul 1
Richard the LionHeart 1
Rin-Tin-Tin 1
Robespierre, Maximilien 1
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Ryan, Paddy 1
Sandow, Eugen 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Siegfried 1
Silver, Long John 1
Skunk, Jimmy 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Tell, William 1
Thor 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Uncas 1
Vercingetorix 1
Villa, Pancho 1
Vulcan 1
Webster, Daniel 1
Xanthippe 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--When is a dead man not a dead man?!?

From Kid Eternity #5 (1947)

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