Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--George Washington Vs. Batroc!!

Man, am I excited by this story, because the post's title is not a joke (albeit maybe a teensy bit of an exaggeration).

We start, as we usually do, with Kid and Keeper coming upon a couple who needs help. And, also as per usual, Keeper doesn't want to get involved.

So Kid proposes a compromise!

And what is worrying our young couple?

Kid asks for, and receives, an exposition dump!

And so...

Welcome back, President Washington! This is your second summoning!!

And really, when George Washington gives you advice--you're gonna listen!!

So Fred tells Drovis...

But it turns out that Drovis is working for some mysterious malefactor!

Why do they call him Shoe?!?


So, when they confront Fred...

French foot fighting!! It's savate!! It's proto-Batroc!!

Man, I'd so make it Batroc's grandfather who taught this guy his fighting style! Of course, I'm not allowed to write comics, so...

Anyway, they have the formula, and kidnap Fred so he can show them how to use the formula...

Well, Kid can't let that happen. But...

Ahh, but Kid has a loophole!

Wait. This is an interesting bit about Kid's powers, isn't it? Apparently he can summon people from the dead, but only at one particular age. The age they're most famous/best known? Their Platonic ideal, as it were? If you need them at a different age, you have go and physically fetch them through time?!? Does mean you could summon 1 George and go back in time and bring more Georges, so we could have multiple Georges at the same time?!?! A crisis of infinite George Washingtons?!?!?!?!?!

Well, that's for another day. For now, Kid goes back to 1755, to fetch a young, hale and hearty George Washington!

Meanwhile...Fred won't cooperate, so the hoods give him some incentive:

Fortunately, Kid and young strapping George show up at that point...



But can Washington triumph over...savate?!?


Wait...this George is from 1755. He wouldn't have faced Cornwallis yet!! (Maybe bringing him forward in time immediately gave him knowledge of his future history? Until he was sent back?!?! Or did he keep that knowledge, which is how the poor beleaguered Revolutionary Army triumphed against all odds?!?!)

Anyway...George takes out the trash!


Ah, but the hooligans aren't done being evil!

Well, now what, Kid?!?

So, of course, Kid goes to get very young George Washington!

Well, hatchet-swinging George busts our lovers out!

And Fred has learned from George how to take out the Shoe!!

So finally...

"Paid me adequately." Try not to sound so enthused, Fred.

Yes, Keeper, you weren't really going to let people die and allow murderous criminals to get their hands on dangerous explosives just to hold Kid to some stupid promise. Nope, not at all...

Still, a great story, Kid is particularly clever, and GEORGE WASHINGTON KICKS ASS!!

In our 28th Kid Eternity story, obviously the chart doesn't change much:

Achilles 3
Antony, Marc 1
Arnold, Benedict 1
Atlas 2
Attila The Hun 1
Attucks, Crispin 1
Barry's father 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Bluebeard 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Breitbart, Zishe 1
Bucephalus 1
Bunyan, Paul 2
Byron, George Gordon 1
Caesar, Octavian 1
Cagliostro, Alessandro 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Carden, Foster 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 1
Columbus 1
Corbett, Jim 3
Cronson, Gerald 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
D'artagnan 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Discus Thrower 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Don Quixote 1
Drake, Sir Francis 1
Dupin, C. Auguste 1
Edison, Thomas 1
Emery 1
Ericson, Leif 1
Galahad 1
Gotch, Frank 1
Grant, Ulysses S. 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Henry, Patrick 1
Hercules 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Hippocrates 1
Holmes, Sherlock 1
Houdini 2
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
Javert 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Jones, John Paul 1
Khan, Genghis 1
Kidd, William 1
King Arthur 1
Lafayette, General 1
Laughing Cavalier 1
Leander 1
Lee, Robert E. 1
Leonidas 1
Lincoln, Abraham 1
Marable, Fate 1
Mercury 3
Mulgrew, Jason 1
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Nightingale, Florence 1
Noah 1
Nobody 1
Nostradamus 1
O'Brien, David 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Penelope 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Porthos 1
Prometheus 1
Revere, Paul 1
Rin-Tin-Tin 1
Robin Hood 2
Russell, Lillian 1
Rustum 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Siegfried 1
Socrates 1
Solomon 1
Sullivan, John L. 2
Tell, William 1
Thor 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Ulysses 1
Vercingetorix 1
Vulcan 1
Washington, George 2
Webster, Daniel 1
Xanthippe 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--The Kid goes to Camelot! (It's only a model!)

From Hit Comics #44 (1947)


Erich said...

It does raise an interesting question regarding the age of the people summoned. He's called on several athletes who died as old men, but appeared as they were in their prime.

I'm reminded of a passage from Kurt Vonnegut (I can't recall which book it appeared in) where Vonnegut speculated that in Heaven, our spirits manifest at the age of our choosing, depending on when in our life we were happiest. Vonnegut imagined himself being in his mid-30s...and being embarrassed by his father's appearing as a child.

George Chambers said...

Since there's some evidence to suggest Washington was actually bulletproof, he's never a bad choice.

anthrax2525 said...

Boot to the head...