Thursday, September 11, 2014

Long Kill The Legion!!

You know, I've been much too angry lately, too annoyed at Marvel's stupid, character-destroying retcon.

Let's look at something happier, something less stressful:

That's right, according to this week's Channel 52, The Legion Of Super-Heroes is coming back, after far too long an absence!

Sure, it's only as guests in an arc in some other team's book, but it's much better than the limbo in which they've been lost in for the past year or so. And if there's anything the nu52 needs, it's a breath of fresh air and optimism from a group of super-powered teenagers from a bright and shiny future!

Let's read what the story's going be about:


What?!?!

Can we look at that again?!?!


WTF!?!?
WTF?!?!??!!?

WTF?!?!!?!?!?!?!

Just so we're clear, the Legion Of Super-Heroes--THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES!!!--is coming back in time...to kill someone?!? To kill a child?!? TO KILL A CHILD?!?!?!?!

They actually DIRECTLY compare the Legion to the bad guy from The Terminator?!?!?!?! The relentless machine that exists only to kill?!?!

The Legion Of Super-Heroes, inspired by stories and legends of the great heroes of Earth's past, a team with the smartest mind in existence and the most powerful man in existence and with members with the vastest array of abilities imaginable, a team with a charter that specifically forbids killing--the only solution these guys can find to a crisis IS TO KILL A CHILD?!?!? 

Mon-El is going to become a baby-killer? Saturn Girl is down with infanticide? Phantom Girl--murderer? Brainiac-5 really can't come up with a better plan than to copy the plot of 1,000 year old movie?!?!?

Deep breaths, snell, deep breaths.

Look, we all know that in the end there will some twist--they were manipulated, the kid wasn't really responsible, their mission is really what created that future, blah, blah, and so the Legion (probably) won't end up killing John Conner Ultra The Multi-Alien. (I wonder if anyone at DC realizes the bitter irony of using the Legion--representing all the United Planets, and alien races working in harmony--to attempt to kill the Multi-Alien, a creature literally made up of different races)

But this is the Legion Of Super-Heroes. They don't start out with "kill someone" as Plan A. They represent a hope that mankind will survive and flourish in the future. They beat back Darkseid. They had their own 5 Years Later, before it was trendy. And yes, it was kinda dystopian, but the Legion said, "Hey, we can make this better--let's bring the band back together and fix things!" And they did.

And when the Legion goes back in time, it's not to kill, or change history. It's to visit and recruit heroes. It's to get the elements they need to restore Superboy and Impulse back to life. It's to take hope from hopelessness. That's what they do--they're the Legion Of Super-Heroes, dammit.

And DC wants to make them a bunch of Terminators.

Sigh...

6 comments:

SallyP said...

Well, this is a uniformly wretched idea. But it is in keeping with the wretchedness of this months...offerings.

*sigh*

pedrocabezuelo said...

And DC accountants will sit around watching their sales continue to slide and wonder...why?...why?...

Matthew E said...

Good article, and one that got me thinking. I'll be writing a blogpost tonight that responds to it.

Tim Knight said...

Thought of you when I read this announcement yesterday. WTF, indeed!!!

Nicholas Yankovec said...

If this Legion is inspired by the current Nu52 heroes, it's probably no surprise they think it's fine to kill a child...

Michael Coco said...

My workaround is to view Nu52 as Earth 52, and rest easy in the knowledge that the 'real' Legion is plugging along off camera on Earth 1.