Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Fauxest Faux Comic Rock Band Of All Time

Long-time readers here at Slay Monstrobot will recall my obsession with faux comic bands, the made-up bands comic creators made up to populate their stories.

Well, imagine my pleasure when I came across this:

Yes!! Aqualad at a rock concert!! That's got to be great!! could try some transportation besides walking while you're on dry land, since time is such a concern. Bikes? Skateboards? Roller skates? A taxi?

Still, they're just whetting my appetite for great faux rock. A concert in the park? Bring it on!'re a Teen Titan...perhaps you shouldn't be dissing "teeny-boppers," even mildly, as they're sort of your demographic!!

Now get us to the show!!

Hey, I can't see the band's name?? Where are the lyrics?!?

At this point, the story is interrupted by a) a dying man suped on super brain hormones runs amok, because comics, disrupting the concert, b) Aquagirl gets bopped on the head and wanders around concussed and confused, and c) Aqualad takes forever to find her and get them back to the water before the inky darkness descends.

Which means that, after 7 pages of pointless digression from our faux comic rock band, all we get is...

"Them"?? "Their Hit Song"?!?

That's it? You're not even going to bother to make up a name for the band? Or their hit song?

Steve Skeates and Nick Cardy, that is the worst damn excuse for a faux comic rock band I have ever seen. Boo!!!!! Stop being generic, and give me real fake bands!!

From Teen Titans #30 (1970), as reprinted in DC Super Stars #7 (1976)

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