Sunday, June 2, 2013

The Dark Side Of The Cola Wars, DC Style!!

From the letters page in World's Finest #177 (1968):

Now, I do not have and have not read the issue in question (World's Finest #173 (1968)).

Still the idea of Batman endorsing Batcola and Superman endorsing Supercola is intriguing.

I imagine the ensuing cola wars would make the Coke/Pepsi competition look like a kindergarten tiff by comparison. Nationwide blind taste tests; regional loyalties; commercials attacking each other. Friendships shattered and families rent asunder over which is better: Supercola or Batcola? The JLA gets drawn into the fight, and disbands over the tensions; super-villains use Batcola events in Metropolis as a front to attack Superman; Gotham City bans Supercola, and imprisons anyone who drinks it.

Ah, but we're forgetting Alan Rudakoff's most important question--how can these heroes be endorsing consumer goods? The answer?

So wait...ALL of the profits go to charity? 100%? What kind of company is this? Are Batman and Superman trying to overthrow the capitalist system? Or do we need to check Batcola & Supercola's books, in case they're defining profits in the Hollywood Way?

But if it's true, does this mean that Coca Cola and Pepsi are out of business in the pre-Crisis DC Universe? Seriously, how do you compete against a product that is A) endorsed by the most coveted, influential people on the planet, and B) gives all it's profits to charity? Aside from Lex Luthor, what person would buy anything else (assuming they don't taste like crap...and we all know that the Man Of Steel and the Caped Crusader would never endorse crap!)? At least now we know why nobody else got elongated powers, because nobody else on Earth-1 would be drinking that gingold junk...

And if Pepsi is out of business, what about Mountain Dew?!?


Suddenly, Earth-1 is a dark and terrifying universe, indeed...


Anthony said...

I remember someone ordering a Coke in an early 80s Superboy story once, so guess Coca-Cola at least existed in Superboy's time...

Post-Crisis, "Soder" apparently was the stand-in for Coca-Cola. No idea what the "New 52" has (can imagine some putrid energy drink, given the "x-treme!" nature of their reboot...).

Siskoid said...

Found the relevant panel, so posted an answer.

It's an SBG/SMotD crossover!