Thursday, June 13, 2013

Forever Evil--The Only Preview You'll Ever Need!!

I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that when Forever Evil rolls around, it's going to look something like this story.

The Joker has just busted Lex Luthor out of prison, and they go to look at one of Luthor's wonderful toys:

Now I know, you're probably asking yourself:

A) If Brainiac invented it, why did he never use it?

B) If Luthor had this just lying around the basement, why was he captured? Why did he never use it earlier?

C) Oh, so this is the answer to the famous Zen koan, "What do you get if you cross Dial H For Hero and Kid Eternity, but make it evil?" That one has baffled me for years. But not anymore!!

So, Benedict Arnold? I'll grant you the villain part, perhaps--but seriously, this guy is goin to help you defeat Batman and Superman?!?

Also, Luthor apparently built this thing (from Brainiac's plans) yet has no idea how to power it...


Wow. I'm not sure exactly how you specify with that dial--X-16, Y-5, X-15?--but that's a pretty big boner, Joker...

One left!

OK, then. Luthor and Joker dialed up a military traitor, a boaster, and an inventor. Seriously, this crew is going to help you defeat super-heroes?

Yes, it actually works. Between Benedict Arnold's military planning, and Da Vinci's inventions goosed up with modern technology (and the occasional lie by Munchhuasen in disguise--don't ask), the Joker and Luthor go on a crime spree that Superman and the Dark Knight can't stop. They even manage to steal the Mona Lisa!!

Yes, all is going perfectly...until Benedict Arnold exploits some tension and manipulates Luthor and Joker into fighting a duel to the death...really!

Well, the plan is foiled (Luthor and Joker both cheat, fake their own deaths to trick Arnold, but Supes and Bats are posing as their seconds, and...), and Da Vinci and Munchhhausen realize they're working for bad guys, so...

The moral? When you can dial E for evil, maybe you should dial up actual evil people...and a super-powered evil guy might help, too...

Ha ha....

Yes, this was a very odd, very silly story. But I'll wager that it makes more sense than Forever Evil will...

From World's Finest #177 (1968)


Kent G. Hare said...

A lot of post-Wertham comics, especially DC Siver Age, tried to justify their existence by incorporating educational bits ... I bet a lot of kids first encountered Baron Munchausen like this.

Kent a.k.a. The Absent-minded Professor

SallyP said...

I just wish that the new Evil-ness books would be half as good!