Saturday, August 4, 2012

Great Moments In Bad Parenting

There are ways to break bad news to kids. And then there's the Luthor family way.

We all know the Silver Age Luthor story: Lex is Superboy's friend, tries to find a cure for kryptonite, experiment blows up. Superboy rescues Lex, but Superboy blowing out fire causes fumes that make Lex's hair fall-out. Lex, who obviously was right on the fence already sanity-wise, turns criminal and vows to destroy Superboy.

And try he does...

Unfortunately, this reflects poorly on his family:

(And if you'll note--it looks like Lex was destined to loose his hair anyway...)

So they bail. They change their name and split town.

But how to explain brother's absence to young Lena?

"Er...your brother got killed in a mountain-climbing accident!" "Yup, that's the ticket. Mountain-climbing. Sorry we never thought to mention to you earlier. Hope you're not too upset. Our bad. Nope, he's definitely not a super-villain, or still alive, or anything. Dead, dead, dead. Your beloved brother--deceased. Dangerous hobby, that mountain-climbing..."

Dude, you're in the DC Universe. There are at least 157 better lies you could have told. "He's in the future with the Legion Of Super-Heroes." "He's trapped in the Phantom Zone." "He's joined Stormwatch--shh they're secret, don't tell anybody!" Etc.

Died in a mountain climbing accident? That's the parental equivalent of "the dog ate my homework"...

From Action Comics #295 (1962), as reprinted in Super DC Giant #S-24 (1971)


Siskoid said...

Those dangerous dangerous Kansas mountains...

SallyP said...

Heh. My thought exactly. How many mountains ARE there in Kansas anyway?

This is just completely bizarre. And hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Smallville is near the Kansas/Colorado border...yeah, that's it.


Okay, you've discovered the first rule of living in Kansas: never talk about the mountains.

(trapped in Kansas)

ShadowWing Tronix said...

Of course they don't want to talk about the mountains if people keep dying up there and turning into supervillains because of a bad hair day.

(Because that's a good reason to turn evil. Look at all those supervillain chemo patients.)