Friday, August 3, 2012

Friday Night Fights--Dream Team Style!!

We have Olympic fever here at Slay Monstrobot!!

I mean, were else can you get teams deliberately throwing badminton matches, officials fixing boxing matches, whiners accusing winners of doping...all in the name of flag-waving nationalism?!? And don't dancing is a sport!!

Anyway, for reasons that cannot be adequately explained, basketball is a summer sport for the Olympics, so we also get to hear great gnashing of teeth when the U.S. team doesn't win by enough, and sniping from former Dream Teamers that this incarnation isn't very good, kvetching about who should and shouldn't have made them team...seriously, when you're a Monstrobot, this kind of evil is a once-every-four-year treat!!

But, this is also a Friday, and we have Friday Night Fights to worry about. So, in keeping with the Olympic spirit, we have to ask the sporting question: what will Olympic basketball be like, oh, 88 years from now?

Oh, yes, Deathball!!

In this game, it's the Earth team, led by LG-3, versus the aliens from Bellatrix!!

But LG-3 is informed just before the game that retirement is being forced upon him by the owners. Still, LG-3 is not going quietly into that good night:

And just so you gentle readers can understand how damaging basketball can be in 2100:

So it's the tip-off!!

Oh, that had to hurt!!


He's giving 110%!!

He doesn't know the meaning of the word quit!

Yee haw!!

But the Bellatrix aren't going to stand there and take it...

Take that, team that dares to be from elsewhere!!

Of course, LG-3 couldn't take them all by himself...

But he should be happy, knowing that his death changed basketball forever:

Spacebooger would accept Deathball if LeBron were playing on the losing side...

The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat are brought to by Bill Mohalley and Nicola Cuti (story) and Dick Giordano (art) in Eerie #88 (1977)

Now is the time for you to vote for me, because like gymnastics or synchronized swimming, winners should be judged by arbitrary subjective standards. And I can spread the graft around as any Azerbaijan boxing federation...


chiasaur11 said...

Feels like Judge Dredd is going to have to investigate these things sooner or later.

Or is it just me?

snell said...

No, you're right, I think the story did have a very 2000AD feeling to it...

Stephen said...

This story and commentary gives me an idea...Dredd has to break up an illegal rollerball / dressage league in Mega City One! Could be a winner.