Fair warning: this story starts off lightly enough, albeit in a terribly sexist manner. But soon enough it takes a dark,
DARK turn.
As per usual,
Kid and
Keeper are wandering aimlessly. Until...
Oh, joy, the old chestnut about the harsh scold of a wife abusing her henpecked husband.
Now, Kid should remember that he is, well,
a kid, with zero experience in the ways of love, or marriage, or romance. So maybe he's terribly ill-suited to intervene in this situation?
Not that Keeper's advice shows that he's any wiser...
So, the Kid calls...
Socrates and
Xanthippe!! Can they shame
Oswald and
Dora by holding up a mirror to their behavior?
Hmmm, that went
surprisingly well. Next: an example of a "true" loving couple:
Penelope and
Ulysses!!
Well, I'll be damned--it worked!! I guess Kid was
right to interfere!
I guess the story is over, then, so--
Damn it, Kid, you
forgot to send Xanthippe back!!
And all of the progress is lost...
Ah, well, lesson learned, right?
Wrong.
WHAT?!?!?!
Bluebeard!!
Now, Bluebeard is fictional (
although some believe the folk tale was based on real incidents).
Still, in what universe is summoning a mass murderer of women a
good idea?
Especially when the person you're trying to scare has already left!
Well, Bluebeard cold-cocks are heroes, and starts giving husbanding tips to Oswald...
Still, everything seems normal when Dora gets home:
Our "
heroes" go back to
Eternity...but whom do they find waiting for them?!?
Oh.
My.
God.
Kid Eternity,
you got that woman murdered.
And even worse?!?!
Keeper said
she was asking for it.
I did warn you this story turned dark, didn't I?
Kid and Keeper return to Earth, but Oswald has fled town. How will they ever find him and bring him to justice?!?
Rin-Tin-Tin!!!
In answer to an earlier query, Rin died in
1932, so yes, he was available to be summoned. This is the
second time Kid has summoned an animal. Which paves the way for my
Kid Eternity/Legion Of Super-Pets epic story...
We spend many (
many) pages of Rin-Tin-Tin tracking down the murderer, until they find him in a town 50 miles away!
But he's not going down easily...
GOOD DOG!!!
But a dog is not enough when Oswald pulls a knife, so...
Jim Corbett!!
This is the boxer's
third summoning, which puts him in a tie with
Achilles and
Mercury for the lead!!
And he beats the crap out of the murdering bastard!
But...
He kills himself?!?!?!?!
By "
if it weren't for circumstances," Kid, you mean "
my interference is directly responsible for two dead bodies," right?
Right?!?!?
Still, all's well that ends well--especially if it ends by repeating your sexist stereotypes! Because now that Oswald's in Eternity...
...he can be hen-pecked for all time!!
Ye gods, what a
vile story.
This is the 27th Kid Eternity story, and here are the standings:
| Achilles |
3 |
| Antony, Marc |
1 |
| Arnold, Benedict |
1 |
| Atlas |
2 |
| Attila The Hun |
1 |
| Attucks, Crispin |
1 |
| Barry's father |
1 |
| Bernhardt, Sarah |
1 |
| Bertillon, Alphonse |
1 |
| Blackhawk |
1 |
| Bluebeard |
1 |
| Boone, Daniel |
1 |
| Breitbart, Zishe |
1 |
| Bucephalus |
1 |
| Bunyan, Paul |
2 |
| Byron, George Gordon |
1 |
| Caesar, Octavian |
1 |
| Cagliostro, Alessandro |
1 |
| Canary, Martha “Calamity” |
1 |
| Cannon, John W. |
1 |
| Carden, Foster |
1 |
| Cherry Sisters |
1 |
| Clancy, Patrick |
1 |
| Cody, “Buffalo” Bill |
1 |
| Columbus |
1 |
| Corbett, Jim |
3 |
| Cronson, Gerald |
1 |
| Custer, George Armstrong |
1 |
| D'artagnan |
1 |
| de Leon, Ponce |
1 |
| Decatur, Stephen |
1 |
| Discus Thrower |
1 |
| Dockstader, Lew |
1 |
| Don Quixote |
1 |
| Drake, Sir Francis |
1 |
| Dupin, C. Auguste |
1 |
| Edison, Thomas |
1 |
| Emery |
1 |
| Ericson, Leif |
1 |
| Galahad |
1 |
| Gotch, Frank |
1 |
| Grant, Ulysses S. |
1 |
| Greb, Harry |
1 |
| Griffiths, Albert |
1 |
| Henry, Patrick |
1 |
| Hercules |
1 |
| Hickok, Wild Bill |
1 |
| Hippocrates |
1 |
| Holmes, Sherlock |
1 |
| Houdini |
2 |
| Hyer, Tom |
1 |
| Jackson, Andrew |
1 |
| Javert |
1 |
| Jeffries, Jim |
1 |
| Jones, John Paul |
1 |
| Khan, Genghis |
1 |
| Kidd, William |
1 |
| King Arthur |
1 |
| Lafayette, General |
1 |
| Laughing Cavalier |
1 |
| Leander |
1 |
| Lee, Robert E. |
1 |
| Leonidas |
1 |
| Lincoln, Abraham |
1 |
| Marable, Fate |
1 |
| Mercury |
3 |
| Mulgrew, Jason |
1 |
| Murphy, Charles |
1 |
| Napoleon |
1 |
| Nation, Carrie |
1 |
| Nightingale, Florence |
1 |
| Noah |
1 |
| Nobody |
1 |
| Nostradamus |
1 |
| O'Brien, David |
1 |
| Osceola |
1 |
| Paddock, Charley |
1 |
| Penelope |
1 |
| Pheidippides |
1 |
| Pinkerton, Allan |
1 |
| Plastic Man |
1 |
| Porthos |
1 |
| Prometheus |
1 |
| Revere, Paul |
1 |
| Rin-Tin-Tin |
1 |
| Robin Hood |
2 |
| Russell, Lillian |
1 |
| Rustum |
1 |
| Samson |
2 |
| Sandow, Eugen |
1 |
| Schleyer, Johann |
1 |
| Siegfried |
1 |
| Socrates |
1 |
| Solomon |
1 |
| Sullivan, John L. |
2 |
| Tell, William |
1 |
| Thor |
1 |
| Thurston, Howard |
1 |
| Tiglath IV |
1 |
| Tut-ankh-amen |
1 |
| Twain, Mark |
1 |
| Ulysses |
1 |
| Vercingetorix |
1 |
| Vulcan |
1 |
| Washington, George |
1 |
| Webster, Daniel |
1 |
| Xanthippe |
1 |
| Zbyzko, Stanislaus |
1 |
NEXT--
George Washington vs.
Batroc!!
From Hit Comics #43 (1946)
