Well, this going to be interesting...
We're going to get mighty self-referential here, methinks.
You may recall that Timely Comics, much more than most of their competitors, were fervently anti-Nazi in their covers and stories.
So it's fascinating that, in this Timely Comic, we meet the (assuredly fictional) publisher of a line of (completely made up) anti-Nazi comics:
And then he's murdered...
And in a fairly gruesome bit:
Years before KISS or Mark Gruenwald--comics in blood!!
Well, this makes big headlines.
The publisher's brother, now running the company, vows to keep up the anti-Nazi crusade!
But the writer? Not so committed...
Fortunately, many writers in the industry were bold enough to take up the challenge!!
Well, not so much.
The Angel (a.k.a. Thomas Halloway) seizes the opportunity to pose as a comic writer, to flush out the fiend!
Now we get to see a comic script actually being written, and an editor not-really editing!
But lo and behold, the editor is murdered, too!
Well, Holloway is captured, along with the publisher and artist, and put into a death trap, because comics:
And the big reveal: the culprit is the writer!!
And so begins the most accurate depiction of the production of comics in history:
OMG!!
Well, they manage to get out of the descending death trap...and the Angel pursues the Nazi through the comic production area...
Given the death threats and outcry after Captain America punched out Hitler on the cover, you really have to wonder if any of this was sub rosa commentary on real personalities and conflicts in the industry at the time...
From Sub-Mariner Comics #2 (1941)
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Grey Hulk's Response To A Female Doctor Who...?
Grey Hulk has been poisoned!! He can't find a cure!! He smashes into a convention center in Phoenix, where Reed Richards is giving a speech, hoping that the genius can help him!
Also there--Ben Grimm, just a normal human at this point in time, and Sharon Ventura, a.k.a. Ms Marvel and/or She-Thing, who has been transformed into...well, a Thing. It was a very weird time in FF history...
Ah, but Banner was unaware of these changes, so he thinks...well:
Oh, Grey Hulk...
Ms. Marvel dissuades Hulk of his sexist notions...
Oh, Peter David...
Oh, there are more digs:
Hey, when you're right, you're right--that was a really stupid costume.
And when powerless Ben Grimm leaps into the fray:
Ouch. Get personal, why don't you?
From Incredible Hulk #365 (1990)
Also there--Ben Grimm, just a normal human at this point in time, and Sharon Ventura, a.k.a. Ms Marvel and/or She-Thing, who has been transformed into...well, a Thing. It was a very weird time in FF history...
Ah, but Banner was unaware of these changes, so he thinks...well:
Oh, Grey Hulk...
Ms. Marvel dissuades Hulk of his sexist notions...
Oh, Peter David...
Oh, there are more digs:
Hey, when you're right, you're right--that was a really stupid costume.
And when powerless Ben Grimm leaps into the fray:
Ouch. Get personal, why don't you?
From Incredible Hulk #365 (1990)
And Then There Was That Time Ben Grimm Was On Conan O'Brien!!
Because it's been a couple of minutes since I've bitched about the Fantastic Four's continued absence, let's have Ben Grimm talk to us about the FF's raison d'ĂȘtre:
Please forward this to everyone who said the FF "needed a rest" and "there are no more FF stories to tell."
From Fantastic Four #543 (2007)
Please forward this to everyone who said the FF "needed a rest" and "there are no more FF stories to tell."
From Fantastic Four #543 (2007)
Monday, October 2, 2017
Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Pixies Were Stricter In The Golden Age!!
And you thought Nazis were the worst menace in Europe during WWII.
We join our story in the nation of "Jugoslavia":
What the? Who...?
Yes, that's how princesses dress in Jugoslavia.
Also, they can't afford pants for their sentries.
And Santa Claus is the King of Jugoslavia, apparently...
Pixies? Really?
Apparently, they are very tough pixies.
How was this nation not already overrun by the Axis?!?
Anyhoo, Rockman is on the job. And although he is initially overwhelmed...
...eventually he manages to deal with them in high-slapstick fashion!
And we still had room for a little romance!
The Golden Age!!
From USA Comics #3 (1942)
We join our story in the nation of "Jugoslavia":
What the? Who...?
Yes, that's how princesses dress in Jugoslavia.
Also, they can't afford pants for their sentries.
And Santa Claus is the King of Jugoslavia, apparently...
Pixies? Really?
Apparently, they are very tough pixies.
How was this nation not already overrun by the Axis?!?
Anyhoo, Rockman is on the job. And although he is initially overwhelmed...
...eventually he manages to deal with them in high-slapstick fashion!
And we still had room for a little romance!
The Golden Age!!
From USA Comics #3 (1942)
Manic Monday Bonus--Bartenders Were Stricter In The Golden Age
OK, so these two mooks invented a fictional mastermind--the Brain--who they said thought up all their gang's plans, and everyone had to give him a cut. See, they did it so they could just pocket "Brain's" cut for themselves.
Clearly, they weren't brains themselves, because eventually the other gang members wanted to meet the secret boss. What to do?!?
Well, they found a dummy dressed as a college professor--really!!--and they were going to a) pass him off as the Brain, and b) use the lifeless "body" to frame Green Lantern for murder.
These days, that would be a 12-issue arc.
Anyway, they leave the "body" sitting at a bar...
Geez Louize, you DO NOT screw with bartenders in Gotham City!!
Of course, that same tough bartender immediately lies and whines about his "crime":
Suffice it to say, the plan was a failure, and the adventure ultimate had Doiby Dickles putting on the cap and gown and getting mistaken for the Brain and...
OK, today it would be a 18-issue arc between two different titles and various one-off tie-ins...
From Comic Cavalcade #11 (1945)
Clearly, they weren't brains themselves, because eventually the other gang members wanted to meet the secret boss. What to do?!?
Well, they found a dummy dressed as a college professor--really!!--and they were going to a) pass him off as the Brain, and b) use the lifeless "body" to frame Green Lantern for murder.
These days, that would be a 12-issue arc.
Anyway, they leave the "body" sitting at a bar...
Geez Louize, you DO NOT screw with bartenders in Gotham City!!
Of course, that same tough bartender immediately lies and whines about his "crime":
Suffice it to say, the plan was a failure, and the adventure ultimate had Doiby Dickles putting on the cap and gown and getting mistaken for the Brain and...
OK, today it would be a 18-issue arc between two different titles and various one-off tie-ins...
From Comic Cavalcade #11 (1945)
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Manic Monday--Colleges Were Very Strict In The Golden Age!!
In case you have problems with today's universities and their codes of conduct...
Holliday College would straight up ground you for eating candy in class.
No word on their policy if they caught you drinking sodas...
From Comic Cavalcade #11 (1945)
Holliday College would straight up ground you for eating candy in class.
No word on their policy if they caught you drinking sodas...
From Comic Cavalcade #11 (1945)
Sunday, October 1, 2017
Diana Prince's Loooooong Taxi Ride!
Diana Prince is taking a taxi ride, when she gets an urgent message.
So, she has time to change clothes...
...climb into her invisible plane...
...fly all the way to "Reform Island" (that's where the Amazons kept their criminals.)...
...have a brief discussion of loving submission...
...investigate the Cheetah's absence and conclude that she killed herself...
...fly back to the States, but get ambushed by the Cheetah...
...stop off at a police station...
...and catch back up to the cab...
...all before the cabbie even notices that she's gone!!!
That was a) a terribly long cab ride, and b) a terribly unobservant cab driver.
From Comic Cavalcade #11 (1945)
So, she has time to change clothes...
...climb into her invisible plane...
...fly all the way to "Reform Island" (that's where the Amazons kept their criminals.)...
...have a brief discussion of loving submission...
...investigate the Cheetah's absence and conclude that she killed herself...
...fly back to the States, but get ambushed by the Cheetah...
...stop off at a police station...
...and catch back up to the cab...
...all before the cabbie even notices that she's gone!!!
That was a) a terribly long cab ride, and b) a terribly unobservant cab driver.
From Comic Cavalcade #11 (1945)
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