Well, what with people declaring their candidacy for office like it's going out of style, we're soon going to be knee-deep in mud-slinging and negative ads! I can't wait!!
So maybe, as a palate cleanser, we should took a look at the nice, clean, inspiring mayoral election in Fawcett City (or whatever) of 1948.
In an earlier story, Captain Marvel Jr. threw a crooked mayoral candidate in jail for being in league with gangsters. Unfortunately, this has created a real problem:
A newspaper publisher worried about restoring the citizens' faith in democracy? How novel!
Well, Freddie agrees, and gives a rousing speech!
But the citizens are, well, dirt-stupid, so the speech has an unintended side effect:
Oh, democracy!!
Well, this distresses the campaign manager of Pate, one of the actual candidates, so he takes the only step possible: he goes negative. Big time!
Say it isn't so!
Wait, who is giving poisoned candy to babies?!?!
And the voters won't know this, because dumb:
I would have thought the 912 times Captain Marvel had saved them earlier would have counted as "the first impression." Silly me!
And:
Poisoned candy? Blowing up orphanages? What kind of hellhole is this city?!?
But the mud isn't done being slung:
D'oh!!
Let's see how the other candidates react:
Good...take advantage of the slime while seemingly trying to take the high road!
How about the other guy?
Idiot.
Well, when Captain Marvel Jr saves the towns children, the evil campaign manager and his candidate see the light...
Wait--you're pulling out because your campaign manager was a douche? You've got plausible deniability, bro--evade, equivocate, and stay in the race!
Hmm, who does that leave?
Neither do we, Freddie...neither do we.
Just 19 months until November 2016!
From Captain Marvel Jr #67 (1948)
1 comment:
Pate? Whitehead?
Post a Comment