Friday, February 20, 2015

Friday Night Fights--Strawman Style!!

Ever since John Byrne had Reed Richards beat Gladiator with just the power of his mind in Fantastic Four #250 (1983), everyone--and I mean everyone--has used the leader of the Imperial Guard as a straw man to show how tough their preferred character was. "Look, my guy may not look like much, but he can beat up the Superman-analogue!! He's really cool!"

Which brings us to this week's Friday Night Fights, as we get to witness Gladiator beaten by...Cannonball.

No, really.

We start with Gladiator busting into a store, looking for X-Men...


If you insist on a pseudo-scientific explanation of how Sam Guthrie could have accomplished this...



Gladiator was looking for the X-Men because he needed them to go fight some war for the Shi'ar...

So, "To send a youth into such danger would lack honor." But 5 minutes ago? "That was my most powerful blow...and you live?" Sending a youth into dangerous war = immoral; killing him yourself in pointless combat = OK. Sigh...

Spacebooger expects Gladiator to be manhandled by Squirrel Girl, Ms. Marvel and Deadpool in the near future.

Our exceptionally silly (and hypocritical) battle was brought to by Scott Lobdell (that explains it), Joe Madureira and and Tim Townsend in Uncanny X-Men #341 (1997)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Bribe me with your votes, and I can write a story where you, too can beat up Gladiator!! So go and vote!!


SallyP said...

Well, Gladiator's arrogance does make one happy when he gets slapped, I have to admit that Cannonball's smugness is equally annoying.

Oculus Orbus said...


and on top of that, ComiCraft. :(

Mista Whiskas said...

That Byrne story was one of my favorite, a neat 'deconstruction' of a comic trope (picking up a building by its corner).

Cannonball beating Gladiator is terrible.