Wednesday, May 28, 2014

The All-Winners Squad Guide To Child-Care, Chapter I: Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind

Let me tell you, young 'uns, child-raising was a bit different back in the day.

Take, for example, the post-WWII nuptials of a certain pair of heroes:

Well, with the Nazis defeated, there weren't that many good jobs around for super-heroes, so...


Well, it turns out that someone was a tiny bit...well, let's allow the caring and sensitive doctor tell us...

Well, that's got to be the worst of it, right?

"Don't ask us how. These things...happen." Really? I don't think that was an approved answer on any med school exam, doc!!

But fortunately, there is a compassionate and humane treatment available:

Yup, lock him in a capsule, bury him, and erect a building over him. Works every time. Or at least 50% of the time. Just don't ask how...these things happen.

Now, that's how you raise a kid--drop 'em in a hole in the ground, and check back in on 'em 25 years later!!

If nothing else, you save a ton on diapers that way...

From Giant-Size Avengers #1 (1974)


Erich said...

I wish there had been a "What If" issue based on this story: "What If the Whizzer and Miss America Behaved Like Human Beings Instead of Roy Thomas Retcon Plot Devices?"

Actually, there really is potential for a good What If story based on the premise of the Whizzer actually raising Wanda and Pietro as his own, instead of freaking out and running away.

Erich said...

I'm actually sorry for the actual redundancy of actually overusing the word "actually."