Saturday, December 15, 2012

Wonder Woman's Warning Against Weddings

You may not know it, but ladies, getting married is apparently a minefield of curses and disasters.

Don't take my word for it. Just look at this feature from Wonder Woman #60 (1953):

Yes, brides-to-be, it is YOUR responsibility to avoid the many, many "hoodoos which might make your married life miserable."

For example:

Good Lord!! It sounds like all of the malignant forces in the universe are aligned against prospective brides!! It's a miracle any marriages survived, given all the petty demands that fate seemed to be making.

But don't lose heart--the next page provides some small measure of hope:

Ah, but once again, all responsibility lies with the bride. It's her job to recognize (and sometimes provide) the lucky sign. If she doesn't, well, the doom is all her fault:

Sixpence?!? Uh, couldn't we at least get superstitions applicable to our own money supply, Wonder Woman?

So sneezing cats and toads good; spiders, dogs and rolling stones bad?!?

It seems like the bride should be blindfolded, stuck in a duffel back inside a crate, and shipped to the church, just to avoid potential sighting or contact with whatever random everyday element will lead to doom.

As for the groom, apparently all they have to do is show up, and everything is copacetic. Woo hoo!!


SallyP said...

What the heck?

Sweetspot said...

I didn't know about any of these curses and I've been married three times...and now I know why.

Sina said...

So it's bad luck to see a Rolling Stone on the way to your wedding?


I dunno, if *I* saw Keith Richards on my way to my wedding, I sure as hell would take it as a mega-dosage of good fortune! "OMG! It's tha Guv'na! Keif...KEIF! OVER HERE!!!" lol :P

But either way, you know me...always a groomsman, never a groom :D

PS: At *71*(...!), Keif is *STILL* hotter than anyone like, say, Bruno joke :)