Wonder Woman's Warning Against Weddings

You may not know it, but ladies, getting married is apparently a minefield of curses and disasters.

Don't take my word for it. Just look at this feature from Wonder Woman #60 (1953):

Yes, brides-to-be, it is YOUR responsibility to avoid the many, many "hoodoos which might make your married life miserable."

For example:

Good Lord!! It sounds like all of the malignant forces in the universe are aligned against prospective brides!! It's a miracle any marriages survived, given all the petty demands that fate seemed to be making.

But don't lose heart--the next page provides some small measure of hope:

Ah, but once again, all responsibility lies with the bride. It's her job to recognize (and sometimes provide) the lucky sign. If she doesn't, well, the doom is all her fault:

Sixpence?!? Uh, couldn't we at least get superstitions applicable to our own money supply, Wonder Woman?

So sneezing cats and toads good; spiders, dogs and rolling stones bad?!?

It seems like the bride should be blindfolded, stuck in a duffel back inside a crate, and shipped to the church, just to avoid potential sighting or contact with whatever random everyday element will lead to doom.

As for the groom, apparently all they have to do is show up, and everything is copacetic. Woo hoo!!