Saturday, December 8, 2012

What Does A Were-Unicorn Wear?

A couple of issues earlier, a Kryptonian convict escaped the Phantom Zone, and because he was infected with a crazy Kryptonian disease, he transformed into a werewolf.

Hold on, it gets better.

Batman & Superman put him down, but during the conflict, lovely young lady Sandy Terry was scratched by Lar-On. So guess what happens the next full moon?

Wait, what?? A were-unicorn??

You see the disease "changes [people] into what they identify with," and Sandy was kind of obsessed with unicorns.

But this is no mere were-unicorn...

...she's a super-powered were-unicorn!!

Superman temporarily deals with the situation by flying her to the other side of the planet--who the hell said Superman is boring?!?

It is interesting that every time she transforms in this story, even though her torso undergoes the least transmogrification, she always ends up shirtless, with her bare bodice barely concealed by her conveniently long locks:

Not that I personally object to lovely were-unicorns as drawn by Jose Garcia Lopez and Dick Giordano. No, I only note this because someone else was infected by the "lycanthropy virus," and they didn't lose their shirt sand bare their chest each time the moon was full:

Yes, Batman became a Kryptonian were-bat.

But even though he grew actual wings, his tunic never ripped off. What, no one in the audience want to Bruce's naked torso??

So the DC standard in 1979: Females can be topless but for hair cover (& still show enough side-boob to titillate the teens), but men ain't gonna strip.

Anyway, there is a typical nonsensical DC Science cure for the whole were-meshuggas:

Yeah, like that would work.


The point of this ramble? I hope we get some were-unicorn action on The Hawkeye Initiative. More likely, though? We've just launched a wave of were-unicorn fanfic upon the intrawebs. Beware!

From World's Finest Comics #258 (1979)


SallyP said...

Consider my mind to be sufficiently boggled. Seriously...were-unicorns? A blood transfusion from a vampire Batman? Do they even have the same blood type? Does it even matter?

God, I love comics.

Gary said...

My wife reads a fair amount of fan-fiction and apparently there's a writer out there posting stories about Sherlock Holmes and John Watson being were-velociraptors.

I wish I was kidding.

PCabezuelo said...

Oh boy. I hope this story is in the upcoming Jose Luis Garcia Superman trade!