Monday, December 12, 2011

Manic Monday--The US Army Roller Derby Division!!

Sally P suggested that her favorite version of Iron Man's armor was the infamous roller skates edition.

Well, as always, this blog exists to cater to her every whim, so we're going to take a look at the true origin of those roller skates. Because they actually came from one of Tony Stark's weapons contracts...

Weapons contract? For roller skates??

Hell yeah!! Because when you're in a life or death struggle with the commies, the U.S. Army won't turn down anything useful, even weaponized children's' toys:

Oh, such false modesty, Tony...

So of course, the transistor-powered motorized roller skates revolutionized warfare, and eventually replaced automobiles, as life was changed forever by Tony Stark's brilliant invention...what? None of that ever happened?

Just as well, I suppose, as the skates would have been deactivated along with all the other Stark tech when the Skrulls secretly invaded.

From Tales Of Suspense #40 (1963)


De said...

Unless you're fighting a war on a paved road, those skates were probably proved as worthless in combat.

mcnerderson said...

Sweet gum balls would defeat that army.

SallyP said...

Oh, thank you my sweet, for catering to my every whim!

I cannot help but wonder however...what if some poor soldier in the front of the line tripped and fell? Either they'd squish him quite nastily, or there would be a pile-up of epic proportions.

Still...wouldn't it be nice if they DID incorporate roller skates into army weaponry? I think they should throw in disco balls too.

Steve Does Comics said...

Those roller skates are nothing. Wait till you see his bunker busting Space Hopper.