Monday, August 1, 2016

Manic Monday--The Best Aquaman Movie Has Already Been Written!!

So, I understand they've been having some problems putting together an Aquaman script.

May I offer a simple two-word solution?

Bob. Haney.

I mean, you have dozens of Bob Haney-written Aquaman stories just lying around. Why not use one? I guarantee that the hoighty-toighty Hollywood writers aren't going to come up with anything better than this:

My god, that's the greatest writing ever...

We start with bored playboy Peter Dudley...

Well, he catches what he thinks is a really big fish. But it's really...

The misunderstanding cleared up, Dudley invites Mera and Aquaman aboard his luxury yacht, and, well, he's kind of smitten with Mera:

So Dudley does what any billionaire would do--he bribes a doctor to turn him into a stronger, more handsome version of Aquaman!

And science works as well as it usually does in the DC Universe:

So, being literally a new man, Aquabeast goes to get his woman!

Arthur objects...
...but Aquaman is no match for Aquabeast!

Arthur gets knocked around for several pages, until:

And Garth?

Be serious.

After a whole issuer of being humiliated, Aquaman arrives just as Dudley has sacrificed himself to save Mera from some mutant/alien/what the hell thingie:

Yup, he was really gone, never to appear again...until the Aquaman movie!! Right?? Hello, DC, are you listening? Hello?!?

From Aquaman #34 (1967)

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