Monday, December 30, 2013

Manic Monday--The Golden Age Version Of Demolition Man

The future is closer than you think...

(Please note: that's 2042, completely different than the 2032 of Demolition Man...)

Wow!! A golden age with no crime, no war, no human suffering! What could possibly go wrong?

Gamma rays. Of course it's gamma rays.

Still, Dr. Lavelle has cured death! I mean, that's a good thing, right?

But Lavelle has to push things...

So they go to a tomb where a famous person has famously been preserved...


Hmmm...waking up a long dead villain...not at all like Demolition Man...

Yay!! Elimination of free will to control crime--not in the least reminiscent of Demolition Man!!

Ha, ha, a future with no guns--100% unlike Demolition Man!!

Famous last words...


Surprise!! A revived murderous scumbag will still be a murderous scumbag!

The villain wakes up more villains to help him--one trillion percent unlike Demolition Man!!

Yes, it's that easy.


See, the future is so perfect and peaceful, they can't deal with crooks with no knowledge of modern technology! Even if the mobsters are 120 years out of date, simple firearms can baffle and conquer the planet. Again, no resemblance at all to Demolition Man...

See:

D'oh!!!  

You may have noticed my subtle hints that the movie Demolition Man completely ripped off the premise of this comic story. (Sure, sure, probably a "coincidence"....) But in the one deviation this story has from Demolition Man, there's no Sylvester Stallone to wake up to take on Cullen. So the entire world will fall to a couple of guys with guns...

However will the goombas be stopped?!?

The answer? Evil people are evil (and stupid):


And they all kill each other. The end.

No, really!

The moral of the story--put yourself in suspended animation, or die and perfectly preserve yourself right now--and make sure to have a gun in the cryo-chamber/coffin. Because the future is entirely made up of wimps, and one guy with a gat conquers all!!

From Weird Tales Of The Future #1 (1952)

4 comments:

OTL said...

I think the moral of the story is: no good can ever come of associating with anyone named "Edward Cullen"... :D

SallyP said...

Imagine what he could have done with a board and a nail in it!

notintheface said...

"Your superior intelligence is no match for our puny weapons. KNEEL before my SLINGSHOT!"

jennifer calhoun said...

Much better story than twilight.