Friday, February 2, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--Meet The Amazons!!

OK, we had better get this out up front...

There's really no defending this story.

The stereotyping and gender politics are so terrible and unforgivable, I'm not even going to try to defend this story as a product of its time, or focus on the better bits.

Nope, we'll just have to deal with facepalm moment after facepalm moment. Apologies in advance.

We start with Mr. Keeper all riled up because so undesirables have been sneaking into Eternity!

So, when you're "henpecked," you don't have a soul, and can't get into "Eternity."

Well, Kid is naturally curious, and goes to investigate. And in an unexplored part of the Amazon...

Well, Kid can't let this continue. So...

Welcome, Paul Bunyan--this is your second summoning!!

Paul makes quick work of the bad guys:

So why were they torturing the poor guy?

The King? Hey, it's good to be king, right?

When they get to the village, the Amazons fight over who gets to enslave Kid:

He tries for help...


Another example of one summoned who refuses to help Kid...

Kid is assigned to the kitchen, where the males are...well...

Kid vows to fix it...

But what about our evil folks?!?

Well, quinine was valuable, as it remained the drug of choice for treating malaria for years after WWII.

So Trask decides to set fire to the village, to allow his droogs to ambush and enslave the villagers.

And Kid makes a very non-specific summons!

Gosh, Kid, I thought you had been doing your homework!!

But Eternity is in a forgiving mood, as they send:

Patrick Clancy!?!

I'll agree that he wasn't famous. I can't find any trace of him on the interwebs. Presumably, as the book was produced in New York, he was a local legend known to the writer. Sadly, the legend hasn't made its way down to us.

Still Clancy was effective, as he stopped the fires.

Which leaves white men with guns vs. Amazons.

Well, that was cool and all, but Queen Matilda...did you hear me mention the guns?!?

There's only one person to summon to put a stop to exploiters with guns...

Carrie Nation!! (Really?)

Well, she rousts most of them, except...

So, it turns out that it took only one bullet to change centuries of gender relations!

Well, surely Carrie Nation will call out such tripe!

Dear oh dear...
To wrap things up, Kid Eternity ensures that the Amazons will exploit themselves!

"Male Mollycoddles" not welcome in Eternity?!?


Anyway, after 16 tales, these are the standings:

Achilles 1
Antony, Marc 1
Atlas 2
Barry's father 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Blackhawk 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bunyan, Paul 2
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 1
Columbus 1
Corbett, Jim 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
Don Quixote 1
Emery 1
Galahad 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Hercules 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Holmes, Sherlock 1
Houdini 1
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Kidd, William 1
King Arthur 1
Leander 1
Mercury 3
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Noah 1
Nobody 1
Osceola 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Prometheus 1
Robin Hood 1
Samson 2
Schleyer, Johann 1
Solomon 1
Sullivan, John L. 1
Tell, William 1
Thor 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Vercingetorix 1
Washington, George 1
Webster, Daniel 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

Next time--The Kid gets smart (and violent)!!

From Kid Eternity #1 (1946)

1 comment:

J. Kevin Carrier said...

Re: Patrick Clancy. Honestly, I bet the writer just made him up, because he couldn't think of an appropriate real-life figure. It's interesting that a dramatic and hazardous job like firefighting hasn't resulted in more famous names. The only one I can think of offhand is Red Adair, of "Hellfighters" fame.