Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Dial E For Eternity--The Kid Turns To The Dark Side!!

This week our story starts mid-robbery!

Don't worry...the night watchman survives!!

Kid stumbles upon the scene, and calls on some help to take down False Face and his goons:

Harry Greb!! Yet another boxer!!

Well, that's that, right?

But the trial doesn't go as planned...

How'd that happen? Well, it turns out that they call him False Face because...

So, an actual super-villain with actual super-powers for Kid!!

Sadly, False Face doesn't use his powers in any particularly interesting way, and when he does, artist Pete Riss doesn't do a particularly good job of portraying the different faces. So, sorta meh.

Still, the Kid is cheesed--justice has failed. What can he do?

Framing him for a crime that he did commit? Oh, Kid, don't go there...

He goes there.

Of course, the problem is, False Face has already been acquitted for the crime. Even if you "frame" him, you can't try him again--double jeopardy!!  

But Kid isn't listening to reason:

Keeper tries to reign him in, before he goes all Anakin on us...

Attila The Hun!!

I'll leave for more historically informed folks to debate whether Attila was actually an evil villain or just a more effective version of the warlords common in Eurasia in those days.

But for the purposes of this story, Attila is a villain. We had found out earlier that evil people got into Eternity when they died. Now we know that Kid can summon villains to aid him.

But maybe it's not a good idea...?

Fun? Try slaughter!

Well, maybe the Kid has learned his lesson...

But too little too late!! Keeper has withdrawn his powers!!

So, summoning a murderous Hun didn't work out too well...

False Face even manages to recruit Attila to help with his crimes!

Kid's powerless attempts to stop them don't work out very well, with our hero being dumped into a rooftop water tower to die!

Well, it's been nice knowing you, Kid Eternity!

Oh, Keeper!! How many people died because of your punishment of Kid?? How many crimes were committed while you "taught him a lesson"?

Anyway, now Kid can summon some real help against the Hun...

Octavian Caesar (a.k.a. Augustus)!!


OK, wait just one moment.

First of all, Attila never took Rome. So, history fail, Keeper.

Second? Even if Attila and his hordes did sack Rome, it's not like he did it by himself, right? To suggest that because an army conquered Rome, no individual Roman from any time in history would be able to beat Attila by himself is highly illogical.

Anyway, now Attila is pissed!!

Yup, rather than just send him back, Kid decides to teach Attila a lesson by calling...

Genghis Khan!!

Cue the Star Trek fight music!!

OK, Genghis was more clearly evil than Attila, so for the purposes of this story we'll allow the "two worst villains in history" tag for now...

And the result of this battle...?

So, this is the first clear confirmation we have that if a summoned character dies, they just go back to Eternity. Sadder or wiser, though? Doubt it.

That leaves Kid to finish off False Face by himself!

How, exactly, does it "wind up the case"? What can he be charged with (especially now that Attila has gone back to Eternity)? What could he be convicted of? What the hell, Kid?

But apparently, the Kid has learned his lesson:

Maybe you need to learn some lessons too, Keeper...

After 19 stories, our standings:

Achilles 1
Antony, Marc 1
Atlas 2
Attila The Hun 1
Barry's father 1
Bernhardt, Sarah 1
Bertillon, Alphonse 1
Blackhawk 1
Boone, Daniel 1
Bunyan, Paul 2
Byron, George Gordon 1
Caesar, Octavian 1
Canary, Martha “Calamity” 1
Cannon, John W. 1
Cherry Sisters 1
Clancy, Patrick 1
Cody, “Buffalo” Bill 1
Columbus 1
Corbett, Jim 1
Custer, George Armstrong 1
de Leon, Ponce 1
Decatur, Stephen 1
Dockstader, Lew 1
Don Quixote 1
Emery 1
Galahad 1
Greb, Harry 1
Griffiths, Albert 1
Hercules 1
Hickok, Wild Bill 1
Holmes, Sherlock 1
Houdini 2
Hyer, Tom 1
Jackson, Andrew 1
Jeffries, Jim 1
Khan, Genghis 1
Kidd, William 1
King Arthur 1
Leander 1
Marable, Fate 1
Mercury 3
Murphy, Charles 1
Napoleon 1
Nation, Carrie 1
Noah 1
Nobody 1
Osceola 1
Paddock, Charley 1
Pheidippides 1
Pinkerton, Allan 1
Plastic Man 1
Porthos 1
Prometheus 1
Robin Hood 1
Russell, Lillian 1
Samson 2
Sandow, Eugen 1
Schleyer, Johann 1
Solomon 1
Sullivan, John L. 1
Tell, William 1
Thor 1
Thurston, Howard 1
Tiglath IV 1
Tut-ankh-amen 1
Twain, Mark 1
Vercingetorix 1
Washington, George 1
Webster, Daniel 1
Zbyzko, Stanislaus 1

NEXT--Civil War II!!

From Hit Comics #40 (1946)

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